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(14 Posts)
Lavenderblu1 Mon 09-May-16 14:10:57

Hi, does anyone else have any anxiety and any tips on coping. I've had it off and on for 13 years (ever since birth of eldest daughter). At the moment, its been triggered because my parents are buying a house 10 minutes walk away, and I'm worried that as they'll be so close (and ultimately I will be looking after them in their old age) that I will never get a break. Mentally speaking I mean, as they will be in the same area! Years ago I tried hypnosis and it was great, but at the moment I feel overwhelmed - teenage daughter, younger daughter, and husband and I went through rough patch last year and I'm trying to put more effort into 'us' too. I just feel that there isn't any more of me to give. I'm not sleeping well and can't get out of this horrible cycle.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Mon 09-May-16 14:26:04

I have had GAD for decades. Meds help me, and taking the time (if you have any!) to sit with myself or a trusted friend or partner and really examine what it is that's making me anxious. Sometime if find its rational and sometimes totally irrational, and they need tackling in different ways.

Living close to your parents could be mutually beneficial if they can help with DCs.

In the future, when they do need your help, at least your journey would be shorter than, say, ending up having to be the one to help but with them living an hour away or whatever.

For irrational anxiety, make sure you are getting good nutrition and exercise as lacking these can make things a lot worse.

One more thing - may not be relevant for you, but I have gone alcohol free recently and my anxiety has been so much better since doing that, so if you so find yourself 'self medicating' maybe keep a check on that smile

Lavenderblu1 Mon 09-May-16 15:24:04

Thank you OnceMoreIntoTheBleach!
I am trying to look on the positives, but ultimately I know it's going to come down to more hassle/stress for me. I don't drink (ever since giving up whilst pregnant 14 years ago, and could never get back on it!) but wish I could to relax me, as I can never relax. My diet's good but of course I could do more exercise! It's horrible having the 'dread' feeling all the time, and I can't remember what it's like not to have it. I think I get extra stressed aswell this time of year because husband always wants to go abroad on hols, but is rather go away in this country!grin

MeadowHay Mon 09-May-16 19:58:08

Have you been to your see GP? There are various medications and/or talking therapies that could help you. You could also check out 'MoodGym' online, it is an online CBT based self-help course. There is a lot of information on the 'Mind' website about anxiety with self-help tips too, it's very thorough, have a look there if you haven't before. They also run a social network for people who mental health problems to chat in a mutually supportive environment, it's called 'Elefriends', I don't know if you would find that useful or not.

Keep up the fight, I am a long-time GAD sufferer as well so I do know how hard it can be sometimes.

reynoldsnumber Mon 09-May-16 20:22:23

Have you considered counselling? I also got anxiety after having my kids and I think much of it was unresolved issues about my mum, which came to the fore when I myself became a mum. Counselling has definitely helped, and whilst I still get a bit anxious from time to time it's way better than it was.

MissTriggs Mon 09-May-16 22:09:46

Book a trip away in this country somewhere with no association with your parents?

I think that you feel every negative when anxiety but the positives count too even if you don't feel them at the time

Lavenderblu1 Tue 10-May-16 10:14:01

Thanks, I'll give the websites a try. Thanks.brew

soap34 Tue 10-May-16 10:57:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lavenderblu1 Tue 10-May-16 13:02:42

Thanks for all your help everyone. I appreciate talking with others that know how I feel, unless you've had/got it its very difficult to explain to someone how it affects you (especially husband). I know we all have stresses of life to deal with, and I've got to find a way of dealing with things (I usually just get through things then it hits me a few days after and I feel dreadful). I do listen to a meditation CD, but I find it difficult to clear my mind, but I could when I was hypnotised years ago, but I need to be able to do it myself!

Lavenderblu1 Tue 10-May-16 19:14:50

I found out today that my brother is coming up on Saturday to look at the house my parents are buying. So him and my parents will meet round here. I'm really worried because last year when I was having problems with DH my parents told my brother! I know none of them will say anything to DH but DH hasn't seen my parents for over a year. I just really hope that the house buying all falls through! They found this house, I found others that were a bit further away (15 min drive rather than 15 min walk!!). But realistically I know it won't! I know I'm going to be anxious until Saturday, then anxious until they move in etc. It's difficult to keep it together but I do I front of DH and DDssad

Dixxie Fri 13-May-16 19:32:53

I'm so sorry you have anxiety. It might be worth being checked for vitamin and mineral deficiencies, magnesium (try magnesium EAP from Biocare, 3 at night with a little carbs to aid absorbtion) and B-complex may help. I also take Kalms which you can buy in Boots xxx

Lavenderblu1 Tue 17-May-16 09:37:30

Advice please!!! Ive not slept properly for days for all the worrying. My brother agrees with me that my parents should not move so close to me - the house they are buying needs so much work doing to it and I'm worried that they are going to rely on me too much for help! With 2 daughters, husband and work I'm trying to concentrate on, I've got nothing left to give. And I'll never get a mental break because whenever I drive to school I will pass this new house!!!! my mum is already saying things like "I can let you keep an eye on your dad while I go out" etc!! Me and my brother have told them they shouldn't buy it because too much work (they are 80 this year!!). My mum said yesterday that they are buying it anyway! My brother said he will ring them and say not to buy it also because not fair on me. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO????? If they go ahead then I can't carry on feeling like this all summer. And as my husband hasn't seen them for so long I will be worrying about that too. I've had my first panic attack today in ages. Everyday just the usual dread feeling :-(((
I won't even be able to say that I'm not in when I am - you know, like when you make up an excuse, incase they walk round!!!!! I can't stop crying

Lavenderblu1 Tue 17-May-16 09:44:48

I've started on Bachs remedy by the way. My mum has emailed me and said they are buying it anyway, but I think it's because she can't persuade my dad otherwise (he's loosing the plot a bit, gets very blinkered by things, forgetful etc). I think they are just buying it because it's near me, and that's blinding them to the fact that the work will be too much. I keep saying that they can't just buy it because it's near me because we might move in future (don't want to though, I live my house!!!). They say they know that, but at the same time they keep saying "and the girls can just walk round" and "we can pop round for Xmas dinner"!!!! But my teenager is getting to age where she won't want to keep popping round!!!! Also my husband is going away in a bike trip in June, and they will be on my back about that. Oh God!!!!!!!

cheesecakechops Tue 17-May-16 13:22:26

Anxiety is awful - suffered with it on and off (mainly health anxiety) for years. I've recently been reading a book on cognitive behavioural therapy and how to stop negative/worrying thoughts etc - it's fantastic, really helping. Never believed in CBT but turned to it as a last resort and it is really good for anxiety
Might help?

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