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why does sex hurt so much ?!

(11 Posts)
Soapmaker34 Sat 09-Apr-16 22:53:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LurcioAgain Sat 09-Apr-16 23:15:16

Could it be vaginismus? I suffered from this when I was first sexually active, and the pain from overly tight muscles spasming could feel like burning on occasion? (I inadvertently but fortuitously cured myself by having a diaphragm fitted - learning to relax in order to put it in place correctly seemed to do the trick). It's amazing how ignorant some health care professionals can be about vaginismus - I had one remarkably unhelpful GP suggest buying a copy of the Joy of Sex. Bit like suggesting a gourmet cook book to someone who turns up complaining of heartburn as the result of a hiatus hernia!

Hopefully you'll get some more suggestions.

Hangtidy Sat 09-Apr-16 23:19:07

Is it possible that your partner is not turning you on enough? Do you do a lot of foreplay? Not being turned on enough can cause huge issues as arousal causes the muscles to relax in your vagina meaning easier entry for him.

Soapmaker34 Sat 09-Apr-16 23:20:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soapmaker34 Sat 09-Apr-16 23:21:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairymuffet Sat 09-Apr-16 23:24:57

Endometriosis can cause pain.

Memyselfandthatotherperson Sat 09-Apr-16 23:32:24

Could definitely be tension. Me and (now) DH had a year where it was painful - it was when we were living apart and the stress of pressure to have sex when we met up made me tense and it was painful as a result. As soon as I learnt to relax the problem disappeared.
Does it hurt when it's just you?

aloysiusflyte Sat 09-Apr-16 23:43:57

Are you on the pill op? I was on microgynon for 8ish years, sex was often painful, felt like burning (especially afterwards iyswim) dh was incredibly patient but after std checks etc we just put up with it, thinking that this was just normal for me.
Came off pill to start ttc and all these symptoms went in my first cycle off it. I am so cross with myself that I put up with all that for so long and never thought it was connected to the pill. I have never had any pain/burning since and the memory of not knowing why it was so painful is a bit upsetting.

I hope you sort it out op flowers

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 10-Apr-16 09:26:17

You need to see a gynae and get the cause of this properly determined. GP should refer you.

Endometriosis can indeed cause deep pain during sex, do not put up with this and get it properly investigated. With endo its not usually picked up through blood tests and scans, it is usually diagnosed through a keyhole surgery op called a laparoscopy.

EmoBandsCanStillBeCool Sun 10-Apr-16 09:27:26

C a doctor

Wolpertinger Sun 10-Apr-16 09:37:23

Another person suggesting vaginismus. I have this - feels exactly like burning. For me needed a lot of time, a lot of practicing muscle relaxation and using dilators and understanding my fears until the burning went.

Ask to see a gynae. If it is vaginismus there is prob both a physical issue - pelvic floor muscles - and a psychological issue, you've already mentioned your worries about your mum.

I found the programme at vv helpful but mainly because I was too embarrassed to see a real life person about it.

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