Week 9 of 52 small changes

[OddSocksHighHeels]

The aim is to carve out half an hour of alone time each day.

Build it into your schedule - possibly by getting up half an hour earlier or going to bed half an hour later without sacrificing sleep. If that isn't possible then look at other opportunities you have in the day - the book suggests taking your lunch break from work alone or, if you're a SAHM, then get somebody to babysit for an hour for you everyday. Because that's easy if you're a single parent but alone time while kids are in bed should be easier!

Switch off your phone, laptop and TV at 8pm (I'm not going to do this!) and don't have them on for an hour or so after waking.

It gives examples of things you might want to do during the time you've set aside: going to the gym, taking a walk, reading, being outside in nature, taking a class, listening to music, going to the theatre or a concert or going to a museum, taking on a project around the home (maybe building that shed that none of us did in week 3?), organising your wardrobe or going to get a massage/facial/manicure/pedicure.

I'm actually pretty good at this already though I might try to get some new stuff in there too that I don't normally do. But I think I'll try to re-focus on getting better sleep for the most part.

Reminders of the previous weeks: drinking more water, getting more sleep, getting routine activity into the day, keeping a food diary, being more positive, taking a multivitamin, having a germ-free buffer zone and eating 4-6 portions of veg each day.

A link to last week: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2570652-Week-8-of-52-Small-Changes?pg=1&order=

[Sirona]

Cheers Oddsocks I'm an introvert so I rock at this one in fact I need this one or else I feel like my head will explode. Isn't always the easiest to do being a single parent, especially to an uber-clingy preschooler who won't even sleep without me beside her but my gym time is my me time. I'll concentrate on consolidating the previous weeks more than anything.

[Pointlessfan]

Thanks oddsocks. Does going to the loo, having a shower and driving to work count?!!

[OddSocksHighHeels]

I don't think it does

I assume minipointless isn't a fan of you being alone? I'm surprised you get to go to the loo alone tbh. DD has to be there to hand my loo roll and once had a crying fit in a public loo because I was trying to change a tampon and she wanted to do it for me. Mortified! And I'm sure you all appreciate the image

[Pointlessfan]

It's not so much that she won't be left alone, more the carnage when she is left alone! I usually take half an hour or so to cook dinner while she plays with DH as I enjoy cooking and listen to the radio at the same time.

[OddSocksHighHeels]

Haha fair enough!

If cooking dinner and listening to the radio is time by yourself that you enjoy then that counts. It's more about getting the head space of being alone and doing something you like rather than working or running around after other people or doing the boring type of chores that you have to do but you hate doing.

I'm like Sirona in that I have to have this time or I really struggle. I might look at joining some sort of class or something and learning something new. I want to wait and see how my interview goes first though because it would be shift patterns and I don't know what the hours would be if I get the job.

[fuzzpig]

Thank you Odd

Me likey this one.

[Pointlessfan]

I would actually love to learn something new, I've felt like that for a while. Maybe a language or I'd really like to learn to sew but I have no patience!

[SpuriouserAndSpuriouser]

I still haven't created a germ/toxin free buffer zone... Can I skip that one?

Alone time sounds good, but I don't think I can turn all my electronics off at 8pm every night! Also you just reminded me to take my multivitamin so thanks

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

I feel like a bit of a cheat as my 3 kids are in their 20s so lots of these changes have already happened for me, because I have the choice with no small people distraction.

This is a really important one though.

I used to love sitting outside on a clear night, looking at the stars, when they were all in bed. My lovely dog would sit with me and I did actually talk to her and she understood every word - she had the same issues as we kept one of her sons

You are a star OddSocks for keeping this going and explaining it all so well, and mainly, for being so realistic.

I'll be doing a Madonna for your interview (keeping everything crossed so I may fall over!)

[OddSocksHighHeels]

I think you might be similar to me Pointless in that you want to be good at the new skill right away rather than taking the time to learn? I tried sewing and it didn't really suit me, I'm not very good with my hands in general. I'd love to study more though- if only my 15 year old self could hear that now

Spurioser we all decided to skip buffer zone week until we'd managed to save a couple of tens of millions to buy a mansion so feel free to skip it I'm with you in not turning electronics off at 8pm as well. What would I do with the evening?

Bewitched you're not cheating! The book isn't aimed just at parents of young kids (or parents at all) and I don't have DD with me a lot of the time either, or a job, so I'm able to do a week like this fairly easily too! It is so important for your own mental health to take time out and just be you and focus on what you enjoy and what makes you happy.

at the dog understanding. And don't fall over on my behalf, I don't want to be responsible for you injuring yourself!

[Destinysdaughter]

Thanks for this one. Am going to listen to self hypnosis every day. Just listened to a Paul McKenna one but there's lots out there!

[Destinysdaughter]

They're on Youtube

[Destinysdaughter]

This one

m.youtube.com/watch?v=_2DtfErdVXg

[margaritasbythesea]

Hello all. Been thinking of you all.

I have had to give this a lot of thought since dd was little. She hates being alone. She assumes any time away from me is a personal slight. She cannot at all grasp the concept of wanting to do something herself.

This is the opposite of me and ds. I really need time not communicating or interacting and find her need for constant companionship a strain. So, I have made great efforts to explain to her that when I need 5 minutes I really do. She does mostly get it now (she is 8). I also set my alarm 30 minutes earlier than necessary and read and drink tea in peace before I get everyone else up. Dcs know by now they run the risk of a very grumpy mummy if they interrupt (too much).

Thanks oddsocks. I like this thread alot!

[margaritasbythesea]

Gosh lots of people posted in the time it took me to write that!

[OddSocksHighHeels]

Thanks destinys I'll take a look!

margaritas your DD is like mine. She needs to be with people, and it's heartbreaking at times when it comes to her wanting friends, but I do need a bit of down time too.

She's younger than your DD and current circumstances have made it fine but I've always tried things in a positive way "mummy has a sore head (no need to mention its from her constant chatter ) and needs to sit in quiet for a minute. Is that ok? You could watch the TV or play with your toys if you like. What would you like to do while mummy sits quietly for a minute?" It takes a while for them I think but they get there. Plus the fact that she would wake up at 6am and not go to sleep until midnight and had no naps. Like mother like daughter!

[AnonymousBird]

Been away from this for three weeks so marking my spot for a catch up!

Thanks OP

[OddSocksHighHeels]

Welcome back Anonymous you've got one week you can ignore so just the taking a multi-vitamin and aiming to eat 4 portions of veg on top of this week if you fancy doing all in one go. Or skip the last three if you fancy just jumping back in!

[ICJump]

Looks like this one is going to be good for a lot of us.
I do ten minutes headspace in the evening already but I'm going to get up for a walk.

[NightWanderer]

This one will be tough for me as I'm a single mum, but I'm looking forward to it.

Lots I'd like to do in my spare time, perhaps I will focus on exercise or language study. I usually do work or chores.

I plan on getting up an hour earlier if I can drag myself out of bed.

Thanks so much for posting these every week. I realy look forward to seeing what the next challenge is.

[NightWanderer]

Ps. I forgot to mention, for me it's the cat that likes to come and watch me on the toilet. whenever I go, she comes running so she can watch me. My toddler likes to watch me shower though

[Destinysdaughter]

Cats are weird!

[gingercat02]

Hello OddSocks and everyone else. Last week was rather lacking in veg as I expected (lots of pizza McDonald's scones chips etc lol) but HT is almost over so back to real life tomorrow with a bump No lottery win while we were off.
Like this week. I'm a bit antisocial of a loner naturally so this should be enjoyable IF I manage it

[Shirkingfromhome]

I'm going to have to swerve this one. I have no chance of having an hour alone each day might have to scale back and make it 10 minutes while I'm in the loo reading mumsnet when DH gets home.

[quirkychick]

I manage 15 mins to do my Headspace first thing each morning, but that is on my tablet. Also, if dd2 has woken early I am half watching her on the monitor... not so restful meditation. I have been trying to do weights/yoga most mornings. Often, though I sit with an espresso coffee and bbc breakfast. Haha on turn the TV off at 8pm! Dd1 is in bed at 9pm, so that's my chance to watch something...

I have done quite well with the veg, but sleep not so good this week. Maybe less walking has meant that I have not been so tired out by the evening. Back to it next week with dcs at school and the school run.