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Week 5 of 52 small changes - a focus on our mental health

(109 Posts)
OddSocksHighHeels Sat 23-Jan-16 23:00:38

Still carrying on with previous weeks - drinking more water, getting more sleep, being active each day and logging food intake.

Week 5 is harder for me to write and is hard to put into practice but the focus is on optimism! I've left out some points that I find too woolly and not things that can be real and tangible aims. Warning: this one will be a long post.

1. Self-talk. When you find yourself being negative about yourself then shift it. Don't magnify the negative, don't automatically blame yourself, stop seeing things in black and white. If you hear yourself saying "I can't do that" then correct yourself and switch it to "I can learn to do that".

2. Try to gain a sense of humour in negative and challenging situations. Laugh about what you can.

3. Take care of your physical health - exercise, for example, releases endorphins and can then help your mental health.

4. Foster healthy relationships. Surround yourself with positive people and keep negative people at a distance. If in doubt, ask MN and they'll tell you to go NC.

5. Try to find one thing to be grateful for each day.

6. Channel Elsa and let it go. Is it worth obsessing over? If not then try to forget it and move on.

7. List your strengths and accomplishments. Add to the list when you can. Look over it when you need a boost.

8. Focus on what you want and what you want to attract in your life. Aim towards your goals.

Phew, that was long! I'll add my thoughts tomorrow as it's quite a lot to digest right off for me.

OddSocksHighHeels Sat 23-Jan-16 23:00:54

Last week: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2550204-Week-4-of-52-small-changes-all-welcome?pg=1&order=

margaritasbythesea Sat 23-Jan-16 23:27:32

Phew!

Sirona Sat 23-Jan-16 23:55:32

Thanks OddSocks.

I love this one!! I'm actually a pretty happy in myself and positive person atm. Big, big change from the person I used to be a couple of years ago - but I had depression too so that didn't help.

A lot of my mental well being has come from learning that I can't control everything, I was a major control freak. To stop obsessing over things and think to myself 'will this matter in a week/year?' and honestly giving less of a shit of what people think about me smile Self-care played a huge part, as they say you can't pour from an empty cup.

2) I will definitely need to try when my mini-threenager kicks off, for the fifteenth time that day.

I used to write three daily gratitudes every day so I'll do that again this week.

NightWanderer Sun 24-Jan-16 00:12:18

Just marking place. I'm generally a positive person but I've had some stress in my life recently so would love to work through it with some physical exercise.

ICJump Sun 24-Jan-16 00:22:48

This is a great week for me. Tough but really needed.
I will focus on two thing which I know give me better mental health.
1) confidence jar. I write a note about something I like about myself and put it in a jar
2) head space - a meditation app I'm doing a packet in self esteem. So far it's about realising when something is a thought or a feeling.

Oh and I wanted to let you know about a magazine I get as this month it's got a great article about change.
The magazine is called womankind. It has no ad's! It covers art philosophy and just the experience of being a woman and each issue focus on a particular culture which give insight into women there. I just love it

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Sun 24-Jan-16 01:50:26

I could write reams and reams about this week's change.

I will desist for now and try to boil it down to something sensible tomorrow.

DrDiva I think we need our own day bed, sod the bench grin

DrDiva Sun 24-Jan-16 03:35:49

I quite like this week too! (And love that MN is yet again proven to have such cultural cache... grin probably very needed. I too have a threenager (deeeeep breath) who tests my Pollyanna outlook to the hilt at times.

Really like the sounds of that magazine, ICJump

bewitched now you're talking!

quirkychick Sun 24-Jan-16 06:43:55

Oddsocks hopefully the other things will help with this one too! Good sleep and physical health feeding into mental health.

ICJump I use Headspace too, I am part way through the anxiety package but have been a bit lax, hopefully this will push me to get back to it properly!

The daily Yoga Camp has a mantra each day, which is very positive e.g. I am open... I release... I think dp and I need some positivity at the moment as it is a tricky time of year, we (as always) have a lot on our plates: a disabled dd, dp's dysfunctional difficult family and the recent, sudden death of a friend's husband... we need to focus on the good stuff for a sense of perspective, as life really isn't all bad.

I quite like a gratitude diary to write down what is going well. I also my resurrect a list of things that make me feel good that I put on my phone.

On the positive side, I am generally an optimistic person... I have managed over 8hrs sleep - woo hoo, I drink plenty, I am eating healthily and I am being active. I can certainly see a physical difference. I am off to do yoga camp and Headspace.

Sorry, that was long!

quirkychick Sun 24-Jan-16 06:44:56

*may resurrect

gingercat02 Sun 24-Jan-16 09:33:11

Feeling better today (although MNing ftom bed helps) Just marking place until I get back to normal.
Thanks for the effort you are putting in with these threads OddSocks flowers

AtSea1979 Sun 24-Jan-16 09:48:07

OddSocks I understand your neeed to go away and digest.
For me, its quite overwhelming. This is such a massive change yet mentions it in one week. I wish they had broken it down into several weeks such as write down things you are grateful for one week and add one thing every day. Another week being write one thing you like about yourself and add one everyday etc. At the minute I need to break it down into manageable chunks.

Pointlessfan Sun 24-Jan-16 09:52:50

Thanks oddsocks. I need to read all that again slowly when DD is napping!

Allgunsblazing Sun 24-Jan-16 11:07:39

Thank you so much for keeping this going OP! I was looking forward to this week's challenge.

DrDiva Sun 24-Jan-16 12:03:00

I have just read this properly. I am trying to do 1-6 already and doing better - it's certainly impacting positively on my parenting I think.

7 and 8 are a bloody sight harder. What do you do when your goals are completely unattainable?

Pointlessfan Sun 24-Jan-16 12:26:43

Right, read it properly now. You all have some great ideas. One thing I've found helpful is that last thing at night DH and I share our favourite part of the day which is often something funny or something cute DD did or something we achieved at work. This helps me to feel more positive and less stressed.
Maybe we could share our positives on here this week to get us all started??

quirkychick Sun 24-Jan-16 12:58:03

Pointlessfan I like the share with your partner something good and on here too.

I'll start: yesterday dd2 (sen) and I did some cooking, she helped me
cut up the fruit for the crumble. She obviously oobviou

quirkychick Sun 24-Jan-16 13:00:58

Posted too soon! *she obviously enjoyed it and smiled and giggled a lot, it was a nice moment. smile

margaritasbythesea Sun 24-Jan-16 14:20:55

Ok. This is seeming a bit less overwhelming now but it is still quite a lot to take on - just in terms of remembering it all!

Thanks OP. I think you probably feel rather similar!

IWasHereBeforeTheHack Sun 24-Jan-16 14:32:27

I agree with AtSea - it seems a lot to do/change/achieve/ in just 1 week! The last couple of weeks have been particularly stressful, for both me and DH. I totally get the idea that you can control how you react to life events and that they need not be overwhelming, if you don't let them. DH doesn't! At work I'm considered a bit of a doom merchant. At home, DH thinks I'm the reincarnation of Pollyanna!!

quirkychick Sun 24-Jan-16 14:59:52

margaritas and IWasHere I think just taking the general move towards optimism is easier and maybe take one of the points that's most relevant/helpful to you. I am definitely going to focus on something to be grateful for.

1) I think I'm tackling the self-talk with yoga camp and it's positive mantras already. Also with Headspace.

2) I think I probably tackle things with a sense of humour already.

3) Previous weeks mean we are all trying to be physically healthy with activity/exercise, drinking and eating healthily.

4) I think I try to foster healthy relationships, we are, sadly, nc with some toxic family members already.

5) This is the one I intend to really focus on, I think it will make me happier to put the good things into perspective.

6) Quite good at the letting go... with the help of Headspace!

7) and 8) I think I will leave these for another time...

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Sun 24-Jan-16 17:13:19

I agree with AtSea too, this is is a big change all at once.

I think it helps to have different levels of goals. Have the big ones in mind but aim to achieve the really small ones.

I lost someone very important to me when I was 19 and spent the next 6 years in a very soul destroying job and smoking a lot of dope. Surrounded by very negative people.

I felt like I 'surfaced' one day and decided to change it.

Had no problem dropping the dope, went away to avoid the negative people.
It took a while to change the negative thinking habit but once it's in the forefront of your mind you can avert it before it takes hold.

I had no kids or responsibilities which obviously helped.

DH and I have had a couple of devastating runs of bad luck and, after the tears and raging, phoned a few friends and had a party!

Dropping people who drain you and keeping tight hold of the ones who you laugh with and 'get' you is hugely important.

Just keep thinking and trying and all you lovely people will be fine.

flowers and wine for the fabulous OddSocks smile

Velocity Sun 24-Jan-16 18:19:14

I'm another Headspace user having done the 8- weeks 'finding peace in a frantic efforts world book'. My problem is that I haven't found a good time for the meditations so tend to fall asleep to it when I finally get round to it late at night ( in bed). Weekend water intake still rubbish but have managed another weekend sticking to the set get up time. Getting more sleep has already done wonders for my mental health. Food logging went haywire this weekend so back on the bandwagon tomorrow. But hey - I'm now not judging myself over that smile

DrDiva Sun 24-Jan-16 19:00:33

Water was better today as I have joined the lc bootcamp properly, and they are a right scary bunch much more scary than you lot grin
If tearing around after an ot toddler all day counts as activity then that's right up there too.
Sleep? Last night was ok. DS
woke at 4:30 am and demanded milk, I caved and gave it to him so I could get back to sleep which I did. He slept till an unheard of 7:23 (yes I am sad enough to count every minute)
I haven't shouted at him once today. Does that count as positive thinking?...

DrDiva Sun 24-Jan-16 19:06:17

I have just gone and looked up that magazine ICJump - thanks so much for mentioning it! It looks really interesting and just up my street. I do most of my research into gender and the arts so always looking for things like this.

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