Advanced search

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention; if you think your problem could be acute, do so immediately. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so do bear that in mind when seeking or giving advice.

Voluntary temporary foster care?

(7 Posts)
BlueBalloon18 Mon 30-Nov-15 17:00:55

A month ago I slipped a disc in my back and it's compressing nerves but not enough to warrant surgery or any treatment, since then I've damaged my back even more (falling down stairs, fainting etc) to the point where if I get out of bed and sit downstairs longer then an hour the pain causes me to pass out and have a seizure.
So for the past month I've been in and out of hospital and I've had to have someone with me and ds (20 months) at all time, meaning my self-employed partner hasn't been at work. This has destroyed us financially! Ive exhausted all resources (health visitors, social services etc) trying to find some help but all I've been offered is temporary foster care for my son. I'm totally torn as to what to do. I try and justify it by telling myself it's no different from when I was in hospital or when he stays at friends but the thought of my baby being taken off of me until I'm capable to look after him (which we've been told can take 6 weeks- 4 months) is heartbreaking, especially over the Christmas period. I can't keep relying on friends and family so my partner can go to work but I can't give my baby away either. I just don't know what to do!!

futureme Mon 30-Nov-15 17:05:06

I'm sorry I don't know but I've often wondered what would happen (I get v Ill and husband self employed)

I remember in my worst year with a new baby thinking about it and wonderingwhy they don't offer more home help as that's surely cheaper than a foster placement.

gandalf456 Mon 30-Nov-15 17:05:31

Could something like a Mother's Help (if that still exists) help? Are you entitled to any benefits? Carers allowance? Dla? Phone dwp or job centre for advice then maybe you can get something to help pay for childcare? It sounds too generous to be true but worth a shot to avoid alternative

Lolimax Mon 30-Nov-15 17:06:00

What a horrible situation. Is there no one else who can help? Family, friends? I'm really really bad at asking for help when I need it as I always think if someone wanted to they would but in your situation you might need to scream it out. I hope things get better for you soon flowers

futureme Mon 30-Nov-15 17:06:42

Home start might be able to give you 2hours support a week.

If your partner was working could you pay someone to help you a few hours in the morning and evening? I kind of wish we'd done that.

It sounds such a tricky position to be in.

shutupandshop Mon 30-Nov-15 17:11:07

What a difficult situation. Im sure ive heard off ss funding childcare in some situations. Can you re- contact and ask if this would be pissible?

spongechocolate Mon 30-Nov-15 18:06:12

Check that you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to. You may be eligible for PIP but I think you'd need to have had difficulties for 3 months. You may be eligible for ESA as well. When I became ill my DH had to give up work to care for me and we manage on ESA, housing benefit, council tax support, DLA and Carers. And we still get child benefit and child tax credits as well, which in total was enough to manage on even though we lost DH's wages. We pay for some carers out of my DLA to come in for respite, but it's not enough to cover DH's working hours.

You can ask your council for a needs asssessment for social care, and your DH and ask for a carer's assessment. We got some respite care and adaptations, but there's no guarantee of any support. The Carers UK helpline is good for advice and they have factsheets on their website.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: