DP had surgery today

[KeepPloddingOn]

I just want to talk to him. Even by text..

I'm 3 hrs away.
He went down at 3 pm ish. Was expecting to be 1hr ish plus recovery time.

He text me at 6pm to say he was awake but sleepy

He text me at 7pm to say surgeons were happy with op (on his spine) and expected discharge lunchtime ish as long as he has been to toilet.

But I want to talk to him. Even if it is a text conversation.

He is 3 hrs away. Someone else is bringing him home. I want to know he is OK. I thought I would be OK knowing he was awake. But I want to know he is comfortable. Or that he is pain free. Or that the op has done what it should.

I wish I was there. I just want to know of he will be OK.

[Etak15]

He's probably fast asleep! You could always ring the ward if your worried to check he's ok. They could pass a message on to him for you.

[KeepPloddingOn]

I've had a couple of texts.


One to say I'm awake and groggy.
On to say surgeons happy, should discharge tomorrow as expected.

I just want to know know
How do you feel?
Are you comfortable?
Do you regret having it (elective but necessary imo)


Just loads of questions and loads of concern I just want to know he's OK physically (I'e it was succeasful) and mentally (pleased you had op?)

I'm so far away and can't talk to him
His so drugged/sleepy/just wants to rest and I'm trying not to disturb him.

It's just so hard wanting to know

[MatildaTheCat]

How is he doing? Hopefully on his way home and straight to bed.

Do hope it all went well and he's on the road to recovery.

[KeepPloddingOn]

He's home.

He carried his bag out of hospital. He waited outside the hospital for 45mins for his transport.

Since being home he has unpacked his own bag.
He was going to cook tea but I got back from Dr's before he started.
He's now crashed out on the sofa snoring away. I can cope with that.
On one hand I'm so glad that he is so comfortable and mobile after spine surgery.
On the other hand I'm so cross with him for the amount he's doing. I'm worried he's going to do more harm than good. I know he has to be active but there's active and there's trying to do the wrong things for successful recovery.

I feel awful for whinging. I know he's been through a lot more than me but I've been on an emotional roller coaster too and I guess I'm not handling it well.

[KeepPloddingOn]

I should say that his instructions for the next 6 weeks are
No lifting (max 1-2kg)
Not twisting
No bending

Initially don't stand for excessive lengths of time and don't sit for excessive lengths of time.

Hence the reason I am concerned about him standing outside hospital for so long and his carrying his bags etc.

[gingeroots]

Please try and keep your anxiety under control OP .I know it's really hard but focus on the positive ,the op is over ,it was succesful ,he's home .

The more anxious you are the more your DP will overdo things in an effort to reassure you/show you that you needn't worry .

I'm honestly not trying to criticise ,just speaking as one who's anxiety over the years has produced a son who will never ask me for help or advice and pretends to all that he is incredibly laid back .

[KeepPloddingOn]

Ty
I know what you are saying.

I just wish he would follow Dr's instructions or at least close to them. Imo those instructions are there for a reason -to ensure he heals in the best way possible.

[gingeroots]

you're correct ! Would it work if you told him that his not sticking to the instructions is putting pressure on you ? So if he won't do it for your sake ,he should do it for yours ? Or have you tried that ?/