I've been working up to this for days now, because I'm fairly evenly split over whether or not I'm fine and this is just life, or whether I have something genuinely wrong with me. I don't want to ask Dr Google, because he'll tell me I have everything. I haven't worked up the energy to go and bother my GP because I work in health care and feel like I should know better than to turn up and just whibble at them.
I'm rather hoping one of you lovely people might be able to help, or tell me to get over it. Possibly that's one and the same thing.
Symptoms:
Exhaustion - I have been chronically sleep deprived for 18 months due to a young family, but now get about 6-8 hours a night, and have done for a month or so. I never just wake up under my own steam, but am always dragged from a profound sleep by family needs/the alarm etc.
Aches and pains - the sort one might associate with flu, sore joints, tender skin etc. This sort of comes and goes in waves, I feel worse when it's cold outside. Looking back, these have been with me since the birth of my child nearly 2 years ago.
Lethargy - everything feels too much, I used to be active and busy, now if I have to go grocery shopping and go to work in the same day I feel like the piffling amount of juggling needed to pull that off is too much. I can cope with one thing at a time, but I always feel almost under seige because I never get to just do one thing at a time.
Raw emotions - I constantly feel like if you scratch me I'd bleed tears. A man spoke sharply to me in the street yesterday because he needed me to move away from his dog, he wasn't unreasonable, but I found myself fighting tears. Everything brings me to a point where I feel either desperate with anxiety or tearful with no obvious source.
Blank episodes - I don't really know what to call this. I have these periods a couple of times a week where parts of my body (often face and hands) tingle and I find it hard to concentrate or think and plan. I guess it's most like a panic attack, but without that heart juddering fear. I do feel scared during an attack, but it's more like a vague unease that I'm forgetting something because my head is fuzzy, rather than the need to crawl into a tiny space and concentrate on breathing so that my heart doesn't burst.
I don't feel depressed or blank, or any of the other signifiers of depressive episodes I've had before. I am mostly upbeat, keen to do things etc. I just feel kind of like I am constantly running to stand still. My life isn't complicated but it just exhausts me: I don't know any other mothers of one who have a stable relationship and a part time job who are brought to the verge of tears at the prospect of having to do laundry and cook dinner. Am I just being wet, or is there something amiss? I've never felt so lost in my life, and I've been through some appalling stuff over the years, which I sort of coped through, and now, here in this relatively calm water I feel like my boat has sprung a leak.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.
General health
please help me figure out if I need to get a grip or if I need help
17 replies
Bumblesquat · 19/11/2015 14:45
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.