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From BoffinMumsFibroid: Come here all you fellow fibroids and bring me your success stories

(282 Posts)
BoffinMum Thu 27-Aug-15 20:38:51

I am a lovely fibroid the size of an orange and I have successfully infiltrated BoffinMum's body causing all sorts of mischief <mwah hah hah>

Roll up, roll up and tell us what you are up to and how big you have grown.

By the way, my role model is the alien that burst out of Sigourney Weaver's body in Alien. Except I do not plan on bursting out! <cackle>

tobee Fri 28-Aug-15 01:14:57

I grew on a stalk causing prolapsing uterus on a regular basis, wasn't so big at only 5cm. I caused some kind of bleeding the whole time and delirious amounts when af visited causing untold worry and severe anaemia. Even tho they tried to lop me off, I refused to go quietly. However, now I am dead having been removed with the surrounding uterus because tobee, my host, couldn't cope with me anymore. I had a tiny partner in crime who died along with me. My reign of terror was about 5 years.

BoffinMum Fri 28-Aug-15 05:16:41

You did so well but giving in to the enemy like that? I am going to hang on as long as I can. I enjoy all the drama. See, I am even keeping her awake now!

SwedeDreams Fri 28-Aug-15 06:46:17

I was the size of a melon! I grew during pregnancy and tried to outgrow the baby, and succeeded!

Swede looked pregnant for years and tried many ways of shifting me, I made her bleed so much and so constantly that she had two transfusions! Nearly killed her but not quite.

Anyway now I am just a ghost fibroid as they hacked me out along with her womb in the end. Curse those meddling doctors

lookingforbaubles Fri 28-Aug-15 07:18:45

only the one?

i had a full on commune on the go inside mine!

bubbles was very disappointed when they evicted us and she didnt lose 2 st of weight over night that she blamed on us!

i was replaced by the mirena coil, damn and blast - which meant bubbles never bled again

BoffinMum Fri 28-Aug-15 13:15:50

Commune you say? <thoughtful>
I clearly need more friends. I am feeling lonely now.
BoffinMum has booked to see the gynae next week. It's like knowing you are about to meet a potential executioner face to face.

BoffinMum Fri 28-Aug-15 17:58:07

I have just created a magnificent clot for BoffinMum to birth. It was the full length of a maternity pad with satellite clots. She was tempted to put an image on a sporn thread, except that might be considered revolting by sporn fans. I was wonderful in my awfulness, though.

SwedeDreams Fri 28-Aug-15 18:05:52

Well done, clots are always a good way of making your presence felt however I fed feel your host should be using Tena lady - are you sure you are harnessing your full potential? Have you tried a full on flood as she stands up in a meeting or similar? That can work well.

BoffinMum Fri 28-Aug-15 18:09:54

BoffinMum will surely have that to look forward to. However at the moment she is hiding from work and trying to stay at home as much as possible as leaving the house is a bit problematic. This is scuppering my plans to take over her body in a form of demonic possession.

I am called Brian, by the way. Brian the Fibroid.

SwedeDreams Fri 28-Aug-15 18:27:11

I was called Boris, beforer I was removed. My proudest moment was such a bleed on a bus (ironically on journey to buy tena lady!) that Swede had to buy an entirely new outfit in Tesco, then she passed out behind the bus stop and had to be bluelighted to hospital for a transfusion fistpump

Severe anemia, making her hair fall out and instigating weird ice cravings were good psychological fun though.

I like you Brian. Your growing on me <groany fibroid laugh>

HarimadSol Fri 28-Aug-15 18:27:27

Fred Fibroid here. I used to be the size of an orange. (sob) Alas, when Harimad was pregnant I was forced to shrink down to less than half my size! Never fear, I gave her plenty of pain in the process. Plus I now have a twin! So all is not lost.

BoffinMum Fri 28-Aug-15 18:52:04

Bluelighting? <rispeck> <fistbump>

I am working on that, although BoffinMum has just taken a cocktail of drugs to scupper my evil plans to ruin her evening. BoffinMum also has more padding than a soft play centre down her pants. This is a declaration of war.

tobee Sat 29-Aug-15 01:42:10

Trying not to be outdone, my two best moments were when, while tobee was laughing at the end of a family meal in a pizzeria, I decided to make it look as though someone had shot her up the bot, leaving my mark as she stumbled outside, only being saved from fainting by her teenage son who kept chanting "mum, I'm scared!" As he helped her outside. It was so good I repeated the effect while tobee was talking to a friend in the middle of a dog walk on the common. I say pah! to tena pads, you may as be made out of fairy wings. I had various names during my reign not repeatable here.

BoffinMum Sat 29-Aug-15 07:05:16

Tobeesfibeoid, did they manage to kill you off as well? I think fibroids have to be very careful as clearly we are at risk of attack at all times.

AsTimeGoesBy Sat 29-Aug-15 07:29:15

When AsTime was about 27 she suffered spotting between periods, I was discovered and described as "huge". When she asked the consultant what could be done about me she was offered a hysterectomy, which she declined, haha! She went on to conceive naturally and deliver vaginally (although painfully) two babies in her 30s but afterwards I ensured she had horrendous periods. She thwarted me by having two Mirena coils which have ensured no symptoms at all in the last 10 years or so, I have been banished to a distant memory. She has had to put up with prolapses instead though, so she didn't entirely win the war.

BoffinMum Sat 29-Aug-15 09:02:27

BoffinMum had a Mirena coil when I grew. How could that be?

BoreOfWhabylon Sat 29-Aug-15 11:54:31

You would, presumably, have grown up bigger and stronger without the Mirena.

I and my friends tormented Bore off and on for ten years until she finally got rid of us by means of a laparoscopically-assisted hysterectomy, which she thoroughly recommends*

I am now a fibroid-ghost <woo!>

*Walking around within two hours of op, home next day, nothing stronger than paracetamol needed post-op.

BoffinMum Sat 29-Aug-15 13:03:02

Well I did my best to grow. BoffinMum has been saying she thinks I grew so much I displaced her Mirena, which has to be something of an achievement. GP tried to ram another one in there but couldn't get it past me, so it was flapping about in the cervix for three months. BoffinMum made another GP take it out yesterday. Now presumably I can really stretch out and grow.

BoreOfWhabylon Sat 29-Aug-15 13:46:16

Bore couldn't get on with her Mirena at all (migraines). She also had dodgy endometrium which necessitated the hysterecomy asap but hasn't looked back since

<bitter at being evicted and my former home being demolshed>

BoffinMum Wed 16-Sep-15 11:32:20

I am delighted today. BUPA are refusing to pay for the consultant to look at me, so I can continue to wreak havoc for BoffinMum while she lingers on an NHS list for a hysteroscopy. It is going well.

LunchpackOfNotreDame Wed 16-Sep-15 21:34:37

I have 5 walnut sized ones in my uterus wall. No hope for a fix without whipping the lot out. Not wanting that as I want more babies.

splodgeness Wed 16-Sep-15 22:59:15

I was the size of an orange and I had two friends who were the size of plums - basically we were a fruit bowl! But we have all been exterminated with a big laser now by an NHS lady gynae who was lovely and friendly to splodgeness, even phoning her at home. Unlike the male gynae who just offered a hysterectomy without even looking at her notes or asking her what she wanted. But it took the lady gynae two big operations to zap us all with her laser.

In our hayday we bled on the neighbours tapestry chair and made splodgey faint at work. Apparently she now has a mirena coil and has lost two stone in weight as she can finally exercise and isn't eating her body weight in chocolate every month to cheer herself up.

splodgeness Wed 16-Sep-15 23:00:24

Don't let them tell you hysterectomy is the only option. Look at the clinical pathway on the NICE website.

BoffinMum Thu 17-Sep-15 12:57:08

Splodge, it sounds very Janes Bond, all that zapping.

BoffinMum has coughed up and put the hysteroscopy on her credit card which has got me scared. Quite a gesture of intent, that. Tomorrow they look at me with The Big Machine. I shall try to hide.

splodgeness Thu 17-Sep-15 13:04:43

More Austin Powers than James Bond!! Miserable isn't it. Good luck with treatment.

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