I need a MN hug

[Shoegal0305]

Hi all, I'm quite a regular poster on here. I have a cyst on my left ovary which has been looked at since October last year. All ok it's fluid filled, bloods all ok etc and consultant didn't seem at all worried. Just get bloods and scabs every 3 month.

I suffer quite a lot with anxiety so it's obviously caused me a great deal of stress ...... Went for 3 month scan last week. Scan lady said cyst, in her words, originally 'had a line thru it'..... It was bilocular she meant as consultant told me. Anyway she said that it didn't now so either that one has gone and/or another one in its place? Then she said I had a uterine fibroid! So I feel one worry replaced another!! She seemed really blasé and said oh it's nothing to worry about! I had a very passionate 'liaison' at the end of May (another story entirely!!) and although I am on the depo injection I'm worried if it could've been a pregnancy and that's what she saw?? Surely there is a distinct difference?? I'm not with this guy anymore obviously and the thought of another child scares me rotten!! Am I overreacting and being silly?? Just been for bloods and nurse said my BP really high so next week have to go for bloods, ECG etc so scared stiff in case they find something there!!! I'm a single parent I have no family support so obviously MN is a good source of support for me!

Xx

[tobee]

Hi once again Shoegal. Remember me (again)? Often wonder if I'll see an update by you. Hmmm. I hoped that you would have final answers for your problems. The worry is so hard to deal with. I think I might have said I had a uterine fibroid. (Which I've just had a hysterectomy to deal with. My choice. ) Fibroids are incredibly common and often have no symptoms at all and are left alone. No treatment is needed. I especially wouldn't worry if you are getting frequent scans for your cyst. From what I've been told sonographers are highly trained practioners and would be highly unlikely/definitely not tell you they saw a fibroid if it was something else.

I too have high blood pressure exacerbated by anxiety, particularly when at hospitals/gps surgery. My gp is very hot on sorting out blood pressure and I had all the tests done at the blood pressure unit at my hospital. Blood tests, ecg, echocardiogram and even pissing in a canister for 48 hours to test for adrenaline/noradrenaline or some such. My kids thought that hilarious. I was absolutely petrified the whole time and had to sit down in a chair by reception for 1/2 before having my ecg as I was so nervous. I felt a right twat. Also I had 24 hour blood pressure monitor which I was totally petrified of and what it would reveal. So of course it revealed very high blood pressure. All my tests came back fine and I'm now on pills. No side effects. Easy to take. Second 24 hour monitor came back that I'm now chilled because I know the results of my tests.

You're quite young still so they can treat your blood pressure if needed or just keep monitoring it. I promise you it's a million times better that you're tested for it regularly rather than left because that's when problems can develop. When you're years older.

Anyway, sorry this is massively long but hugs to you. The blood pressure thing is a bugger because it becomes catch 22 if you are nervous. Hope your boy is well. Hope the cyst gets resolved.

[Shoegal0305]

Hi tobee yes course I remember you you've helped me a lot with your kind words. I too feel a bit of a twat lol! I'm on the ceiling worrying! I've been diagnosed with high BP before had the 24 hour BP monitor etc. got put on Ramipril. But I don't get free prescriptions and one month I couldn't afford it and I take my BP regularly and it was ok so I stopped. It's been fine but it shot up recently. I'm scared I'm bloody pregnant but too scared to take a test..... Again being on my own is making it all worse!!!! I am on the depo injection and have bled quite a lot since so pregnancy unlikely? Read it's a side effect of the injection? The news about the cyst I think is ok as the bilocular one not there?? But this bloody fibroid worrying me now!am I bleeding cos of the depo or the fibroid??? Nothing major bleeding wise but have to wear liners. God I'm such a worry wart! Now scared they will find something wrong with my ECG!!! My dad died at 52 of s heart attack and ever since I've worried! I'm 43 now xx

[tobee]

Its not surprising you're worried after what happened to your dad. It's awful for you and I was going to say it's shit that prescriptions cost so much that people can't always take them. But actually it's criminal. I have hypothyroidism. Which is crap. But because I'm on levothyroxine the good thing is all my prescriptions are free. However, dh is on dialysis and has to take loads of meds and his aren't free. Even though I would say his conditions is more serious. However, he has that pre pay prescription thing he buys annually which makes it work out cheaper. I'm useless at maths and so don't know by how much, I'm afraid. He found out about it through the local chemist. No doctor told me about my free prescriptions and got told by the chemist too.

I don't know much about contraception having always used condoms. (Don't need them any more, keep having to remind myself of that!) Of course, what jumps out from your thread are all the question marks. When in the grip of health anxiety there are just so many question marks running round our heads that instead of being answered are just added to with more and more until we're in a frenzy of worry. The easy thing would be to say "go and speak to your gp and they can help you with your worries and answer your questions". But a) that assumes you have a caring, chatty gp who gives you extra time (my lovely female one just retired) and b) you can get up the courage to book an appointment. And I've certainly been there. Aaahhh! It's just so hard.

[Shoegal0305]

My answer to a lot of things is burying my head in the sand. I'm a medical professional you'd think I know better?! But I think most of us are alike we see the worst case scenario in everything! Plus I'm a whizz at ECGs so when I have mine I'm gonna ask them to turn the screen away lol!!!

I've suffered with anxiety since I lost my dad when I was 22. Then at 33 I became a single parent which in some respects was worse than losing my dad.

This cyst business scared me to death as my biggest fear ever is having to have an operation. I have no grounds for this as never had one but it's a proper fear! I have to go into theatres sometimes with work and even that brings me out in a cold sweat! But I've thankfully always been healthy so that, combined with being scared as I am the only carer for my son, really petrifies me!

And now they say I have fibroid, I have anxiety I'm pregnant, which I kinda know I'm not but I'd been celibate for years so ....... Never had to worry lol!!! I had the injection well within all the normal parameters for it to be effective etc..... God what a state to get in!!

[tobee]

Yes I remember you are a health professional. Because of my anxiety I had ridiculous tachycardia for one of my pre ops and I got put on beta blockers so they wouldn't turn me away on the day of the surgery. I originally wanted to be taken off them after the original surgery because I was getting disturbing dreams and I was convinced it had plateaued my weight loss as I'm always on a diet. Maybe wishful thinking there. Anyway, I'm happy to be on them now as it keeps me on more of an even keel and obviously helps my blood pressure too. You're gonna think I'm crazy now, but I wasn't that nervous for the hysterectomy I'd just had. Probably because I'd just had a general last December. But I was still convinced after this pre op that they'd ring to say I'd be sent to a cardiologist because my ecg would have shown something. Plus I had my first breast scan just days before. I know what you mean about knowing you're not pregnant but still worrying about it anyway.

My friend is an artist and had some works put up as part of an exhibition at our local hospital. She asked me to the opening. Even though I was there for nothing to do with medical reasons and had a glass of wine in my hand, I was constantly inching towards the exit! It cheeses me off because I don't want to see myself like this

[Shoegal0305]

Anyone else? Xx