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I hate my self after drinking every time

(9 Posts)
Brutal Sun 14-Jun-15 13:31:29

Why am I such an asshole when i drink? I'm mean to my girlfriend, family, say stupid stupid shit to strangers, family, everyone. I hate myself so much the next day after drinking, I quit for a couple weeks, then I don't care anymore and it's right back to drinking and feeling this way. I hate this feeling I have right now. I hate it so much I had to at least ask why I feel how I do, and why I act like I do when drunk. Im really thinking about quitting alcohol for good, but after a few weeks I won't feel this way and start drinking again. I feel like an embarrassed moron who has no business drinking but I do it anyways. I HATE it and myself right now. Any advice please

Clarella Sun 14-Jun-15 18:58:24

Well, I think it's a good step in the right direction for recognising it, it's about sticking to it.

I wonder if some counselling and CBT might help? Cbt is really good for changing behaviour. Or some like hypnotherapy, I don't know too much about it. Or Alcoholics Anonymous? Not that you're an alcoholic but the social group mentality might help?

Shakey1500 Sun 14-Jun-15 19:05:38

In my (limited) experience, it takes a "rock bottom" moment to happen for someone to seriously make a change.

As Clarella said, it's a good step recognising it. If you recognise that your current behaviour is a problem but not quite enough of a problem, then what WOULD it take?

Saying something so bad you lose a good partner/friend/family member?
Waking up in hospital?
Waking up in a police cell?
Losing your job/home
What?

Because when you have woken up with that sick to the stomach I-can't-undo-what-I've-done feeling, then it's gone too far.

And you've got an opportunity to do that. Speak to your GP. Tell your family you're going to need help and support. Good Luck

Brutal Sun 14-Jun-15 19:48:55

Thank you all very much for the replies. I'm going to work on it and take it very seriously this time. I'm only 24 and I've already managed to get a dui and said I was going to quit drinking then but like always I just started to again. I'm going to make a therapist appointment and really quit this time. If I make a list of the pro and con that drinking has got me you'd see it's a very 1 sided depressing list. Thank you again and anymore advice or experience it's greatly welcomed. I don't have many people in real life I can talk to about this so I like it here.

Georgethesecond Sun 14-Jun-15 19:51:56

You know what you have to do.

You have to quit. With help. In public. One day at a time.

Good luck.

Shakey1500 Sun 14-Jun-15 20:00:49

You have so much life and choices available to you.

What is it about drinking that compels you do you think? Do you have many close friends? Do you feel left out if you don't drink? Perhaps you feel that mates will take the piss if you give it up?

Let me tell you something. I had a spell where I was drinking frequently (mixed with anti d's which was not a good combo). I had a particularly bad night and did something inexcusable. I simply cannot describe the horrible, horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I woke up and realised what I'd done. It's THAT feeling that I remember and stops me ever doing it again. Don't put yourself in that position.

Brutal Sun 14-Jun-15 20:14:37

I do have a group of friends that don't drink. I hang out with them a lot it's when I hang with the other group I end up drinking and making a complete asshole out of myself. People hate me when I'm drunk and when I'm sober I hate my drunk self also. People can't believe how I act if they've never been around it. With me if I have 1 beer I'm going to keep drinking till I pass out and am wasted. I'm such a nice person sober and drunk I'm out of control. I can't figure out why I get like that. I know other people who do and it's miserable. I'm hoping I can do this. I don't drink often maybe once a month but when I do I regret it

HowardTJMoon Sun 14-Jun-15 20:51:17

It doesn't matter why you turn into an arsehole when you're drunk any more than it matters why some people are allergic to penicillin.

You + booze = arsehole. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

From your girlfriend's point of view she knows that there's a good chance that you will treat her badly when you've been drinking. So for you to drink it will seem to her that, to you, you're more willing to risk treating her like shit again rather than stop drinking. She will feel that she is coming second place to alcohol. That's the kind of realisation that makes people leave.

AA is an option. It might also be worth getting in touch with Turning Point to see if they offer any services near where you are. I know that Turning Point provided a huge amount of help to my ex.

Brutal Mon 15-Jun-15 03:00:05

Thank you all again for your words, they really helped me. I'll remember to keep you updated with my progress

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