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My local area does not (apparently) 'do' (or rather fund) the procedure I need - advice appreciated.

(30 Posts)
GingerDoodle Sat 13-Jun-15 19:36:28

I want to be sterilised (Im 32 have a 2 year old and absolutely no desire for more - if I do at any point I'll adopt).

I been through the mill of hormonal contraceptives and I want out. Having had the merina out i'm currently dealing with the 'crash' whilst on the yasmin pill and its not pleasant. I can't drink as it now makes me sick and I can barely eat as it gives me horrific wind, stomach cramps and bloating. To say its depressing is a bloody understatement.

I had a brief phone chat with my GP who was very unhelpful and told me the NHS don't 'do' female sterilisation which i know is untrue.

I have a face to face appointment on Monday and I'd really appreciate anything I can go armed with. It seems crazy that the NHS would fund a stream of abortions (if I came off hormonal and played pot luck) or the mental health treatment i'd likely need (if i continue) rather than give me the one of operation that I want.

rabbitstew Sat 13-Jun-15 22:24:20

Have you considered the diaphragm, cap or condoms? Or, if you have a long term partner, asking him to have a sterilisation, given that the relevant bit to be snipped in a man isn't buried deep inside him? If you're adamant you want to be sterilised, then I suggest you prove to your GP you've done your research (there's plenty of info on the internet), know the risks, are certain there are absolutely no circumstances that would convince you to have more children, have been thinking it over for a while now and are still sure it is what you want.

GingerDoodle Sat 13-Jun-15 22:54:45

Hi rabbit, I dislike the faff and failure risk of condoms etc. The snip is not something my husband wants (and I'm fine with his reasons). I've done my homework and happy to convince on that level, my question is more on nhs funding provisions.

Tellmewhattodooooo Sat 13-Jun-15 23:03:40

On NHS funding provisions - the postcode lottery very much exists. You're unlikely to get what you want. My DD needs something 'unavailable' in our area; she gets a lesser alternative which doesn't do the job properly. It has an impact on the basics of her life. You have various alternatives which will do the job (ie stop you getting pregnant), so not a massive issue in comparison?

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas Sat 13-Jun-15 23:40:36

Ginger there are very real reasons why they will not sterilise you at this age - it would be worth you finding out why - I could explain here but it would take a long time and would be better coming from your GP in a face to face appointment.

It has nothing to do with "postcode lottery" or any other NHS bashing.

Nobody knows what is the around corner in life OP . That's the general reason its refused- regardless of how you feel right now, people lose partners, people lose children ... And people all the time are starting life and families all over again because some unforeseen tragedy has happened.
Taking your womb out is irreversible. You're too young OP.

GingerDoodle Sun 14-Jun-15 08:19:30

Tellmewhattodooooo - Thank you; you at least in part answered what I was trying to find out; wether or not something not being funded in your local area made it impossible.
Im very sorry for the difficulty your daughter is facing.

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas - I've done my home work and the only real reason is people seem to think they have a god given right to tell women they don't not know what they want. Im not talking about a womb removal - I'm talking about tubes being tied.
I'm over 30, have a kid, have had 10+ years of hormonal contraceptives which do not agree with me. I would happily sign a legally binding agreement not to have the NHS try and reverse the procedure should the desire ever occur. Yes, I'm aware many woman do regret the decision (as you say no one knows whats around the corner). For the record unless there is an exceptional reason I don't think the NHS should fund it! There is no such fuss for men and lets be fair its end result is exactly the same (but yes i know the procedure is a lot less invasive).
Also for the record; by definition of a procedure being available in one locality but not the other it is a postcode lottery. I love the NHS (I have a degree which studied it extensively), am not in to 'bashing' it. Although as per my origal posts it does seem rather screwed logic.

Im sorry if I sound rather hacked off but Im dealing with the delightful merina coil removal crash. A quick search of the internet (or mumsnet!) reveals the problems with hormonal contraceptives which Dr's are not so quick in telling you about. If someone had given me the real low down on the merina I would have never have had it (school girl error - I was so pleased to get rid of the implant I didn't do enough homework).
I do not need people trying to tell me they understand my situation or life better than me. But in anycase thank you for taking the time to reply; for someone in a different set of circumstances your reply might have saved someone a procedure.

tobysmum77 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:20:52

Blessed I think you can know that you will never want more children. That is a really patronising view imo.

Also in relation to the postcode lottery I've been sterilised on the nhs. I was 35 at the time and dd2 was 11 months. I honestly had no issue at all getting it agreed and it was only 2.5 years ago.

tobysmum77 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:26:08

And I think it should be funded for anyone for the following reasons:

- It is unfair to allow men sterilisation and long term control of their fertility but not women. What if dh has it done then you split up?
- Appointments about contraception for the next 20 years also cost. If you did have another baby it would cost more than the sterilisation so it's false economy anyway.

sebsmummy1 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:27:13

Ginger I can absolutely see why the NHS doesn't want to fund sterilisation in your situation. I do have some sympathy as you so seem very set on the use, but god forbid something happened to your daughter and she passed away. Would you choose to have another child to you think or still be glad you couldn't?

There are some excellent family planning machines out there that tell you when you are likely to fall pregnant and need to use contraception and when it's extremely unlikely. I would do some good research into that kind of device and back up with condoms/cap etc on the fertile days.

I know it's not perfect but unless you fund it yourself I think your preference for sterilisation is extremely unlikely to be satisfied.

tobysmum77 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:28:16

sebs so you can replace one child with another really shock

Noeuf Sun 14-Jun-15 08:29:39

Blessed if you are confusing hysterectomy with sterilization I'd stay away from advice giving! Op, how frustrating. What about the implant? Or is that going to have the same impact as the coil, and hormones?
I don't blame you, I hate hormonal contraception.

GingerDoodle Sun 14-Jun-15 08:35:28

Seb - my child is not replaceable. I appreciate what you are getting at but I find your post offensive. As i said in my op - in the unlikely event of there ever being a desire we would consider adoption.

Natural family planning works for some people but it's not something i'd have the confidence in!

GingerDoodle Sun 14-Jun-15 08:39:37

Neouf. I had 3 implanon implants which worked ok over 9 years. Side effects: thin hair (at 19!!!), difficulty losing weight, bit moody, prone to boils on my lady parts! No interest in sex.

Then i had it out to have DD and I felt like a new woman!
I had a Nexplanon one in (as Inplanon has been discontinued) after DD and had all of the above plus bleeding for 6 months straight and extreme mood swings.

chantico Sun 14-Jun-15 08:40:49

There are a number of procedures that PCTs decide not to fund.

You need to check if your GP is correct about unavailability in your area. If so, then you are probably stuck to the extent that it will not be done unless you a) move to a different PCT which will fund, or b) campaign successfully to have your PCT change this funding decision.

Or have it done privately. I note you compare to abortion services - many women for a whole heap of reasons choose private provision for them too. And in areas where access to NHS vasectomy is also rationed (by waiting list), going privately is a frequently made choice.

Marie Stopes International current fees are £1527.

Mrscog Sun 14-Jun-15 08:43:05

What about a copper coil? Hormonal contraception doesn't suit me either but my copper coil gave me no problems.

GingerDoodle Sun 14-Jun-15 08:44:00

Thanks chantico - that is helpful smile

MoggyP Sun 14-Jun-15 08:44:58

The 'Rainbow' threads of those TTC after the death of a child should not be characterised as offensive.

It's another child, not a replacement, and I hope you never ever have to find out for yourself what that can really mean.

If you never want another child, under any circumstances, then sterilisation is the right answer.

But not at the expense of having a go at bereaved parents who want to increase their family size.

HennaFlare Sun 14-Jun-15 08:48:29

The postcode lottery is real. I was refused a surgery for 3 years as it was considered cosmetic. Husband encouraged me to try again after we moved and just see... immediate approval.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 14-Jun-15 08:51:34

How much would paying to have your tubes tied cost?

Could you do that?

tobysmum77 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:52:44

Agreed moggy, you have to be certain that you will never want to give birth to another child. For me as 40 looms nearer I am no longer at an age where I could have been particularly confident of conceiving anyway. I just know my fertile life is over, end of.

What's interesting though is if it's a bloke having the snip all this is barely mentioned. And men have longer fertile lives than women so I imagine statistically are more likely to regret it later.

Penfold007 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:58:59

Sadly I think it is a postcode lottery issue. If you shop around private sterilisation is around £1000. You shouldn't have to self fund but it may be an option.

GingerDoodle Sun 14-Jun-15 09:15:48

Moggy. I was not in any way having a go at families in such circumstances. I was responding to the post aimed at me and thought that was clear.

GingerDoodle Sun 14-Jun-15 09:17:11

Quotes I've seen are £1.5 - £2.5k... If I have to we will probably end up taking a loan. I'll have to have another look.

icclemunchy Sun 14-Jun-15 09:32:19

I was sterilised earlier this year at the age of 27 (at same time as CS to deliver my DD2)

I found that being sure and confident in my argument for me what I wanted but it was only once I saw a consultant rather than a registrar I got a yes.

The main arguments against seemed to be if one of my children died of want another and how could o be sure I wouldn't leave my partner and want another (I have a couple of health conditions that make being pregnant hellish at best and dangerous at worst I deff do not want anymore!!)

Good luck op smile

TooMuchCantBreathe Sun 14-Jun-15 09:49:21

I have 5 dc and 1 gc. I haven't had a relationship for years because of the fear of getting pg, I can't use hormonal contraception and don't trust non hormonal enough. It's slowly developing into phobia type proportions and is definitely life limiting. I still can't get sterilisation funded on nhs (I may well be fertile for another 10 years or more)

Basically it needs to be dangerous for you to get pg before the nhs will fund female sterilisation like iccle unless you get very lucky.

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