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Not sure anyone will be willing to divulge but...

(45 Posts)
ktab Mon 19-Jan-15 01:13:38

How long was it until you had sex after having baby and how is your sex life now? I'm struggling a bit with it all...

ColdFeetWarmHeart Mon 19-Jan-15 01:43:44

12 days, but I only had the tiniest of tears and didn't need stitches. Our sex life was good after DD was born, and we probably averaged twice a week.
Things are much more difficult now DD is older and I am back at work - we struggle to find time to say hello to each other!

Squtternutbaush Mon 19-Jan-15 01:48:23

5 months. Was a bit hard with a baby who would not be put down and didn't sleep anywhere but on me.

We are going through a bit of a "patch" right now with our relationship in general so things in the bedroom aren't exactly heated but once a month or so as the above child still doesn't sleep through and is still in our room despite being 2 in just over a month.

sydlexic Mon 19-Jan-15 01:49:45

First baby 4 months, others 6 weeks. Not good deliveries, many stitches.

Now celibate.

ShitHotAwesome Mon 19-Jan-15 02:11:59

6 weeks both times.

Hurt a bit the first time at it after my first but I'd had an awkward tear.

Sex life definitely less frequent than before kids for lots of reasons but still frequent enough for me. DH would like it twice a day but that's just unrealistic!!

AlpacaMyBags Mon 19-Jan-15 02:21:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkfrocks Mon 19-Jan-15 11:33:57

At least 6 months. Baby in bedroom, too sore, ( episiotomy) and too darned tired.

ANewMein2015 Mon 19-Jan-15 11:38:44

about 6 months. I know I'm not the only one too!! It's probably one exteme or the other ;)

Neither of us felt like it - we had a non-sleepy baby, we were exhausted etc. It did resume later...

ANewMein2015 Mon 19-Jan-15 11:39:07


strawberryshoes Mon 19-Jan-15 11:46:03

Dd1 9 months Dd2 3 months

Sex life really only recovered after dd1 when she was about 2.5, DD2 is only 10 months, and its rare!

Breastfeeding kills my libido dead. Tiredness does not help, and when its been ages it just feels easier not to bother. With h DD1 she was on me all day and night, very clingy baby and when I did get a break the last thing I wanted was someone else touching me.

My husband is v patient though

nikki1978 Mon 19-Jan-15 11:50:03

About 6 weeks for DD (stitches) and maybe a month for DS. Our sex life went back to normal fairly quickly and it still that way 10 years later. It helped that we coslept so sleep deprivation wasn't a big issue. But it also depends on how your relationship is coping with the stress of a baby to be honest.

UnrelatedToElephants Mon 19-Jan-15 11:53:29

A month but no tears here.

MadeInChorley Mon 19-Jan-15 12:00:07

I honestly can't remember. Wasn't very soon afterwards. Maybe 4 weeks. I had an ok delivery and not much tearing but DC1 was EBF on demand which was about every 3 hours and Velcro baby. It was more about finding a moment and summoning up the energy than being physically capable IYKWIM.

BabyOnBoob Mon 19-Jan-15 12:01:19

DD is 6mo and we've still not had sex yet. I'm bf and baby is in bed with me. She doesn't sleep well and I really don't feel the urge.

Blue03 Mon 19-Jan-15 12:11:11

We waited 4 weeks, just took it steady and careful as had stitches. Now 7 months preg with #2, really not feeling like it most of the time and when I do I'd prefer just to lie there and let him n do the work lol!! So uncomfortable this time around, last time I was really horny!!

GotToBeInItToWinIt Mon 19-Jan-15 12:20:52

About 8 weeks, then not again for another month or so. It's not so much that it was painful/uncomfortable, more that I was too bloody exhausted to even think about it. DD is now 14 months and I'm 16 weeks pregnant, we were a bit shocked as we only had sex once the whole month we conceived (a quicky on the sofa while DD was napping upstairs, how romantic wink)

PoppySausage Mon 19-Jan-15 12:22:37

6 weeks. I wanted to ASAP as I knew if I left it, it would become a 'thing.' Sex life now good (dd is 4) but crisp for 3.5 years as I was exhausted and hormonal

GillSans Mon 19-Jan-15 12:22:38

God, ages. At least 3 months. I was so tired and Ill after traumatic birth. Anaemic from severe blood loss. Fractious, clingy and high needs baby. Difficulties with breastfeeding. Etc etc.

I can remember the doctor, at the 6 week check, demanding to know why I hadn't had sex yet. I almost couldn't speak for wanting to cry. I wish to this day I had lost it at her instead of holding it all in.

There's no rush.

PoppySausage Mon 19-Jan-15 12:23:36

Crisp!!!!!grinshockblushblush Crap!

Trinpy Mon 19-Jan-15 12:27:09

8 weeks. I was really scared because I had a second degree tear but we went slowly and it was fine. It's actually been a lot more comfortable since childbirth <stealth boast about my Dh grin>.

confused79 Mon 19-Jan-15 12:29:17

2 weeks after both my kids, but had no tears. Of course, I was very careful as I still felt tender down below.

wickedlazy Mon 19-Jan-15 12:43:17

C section. 4 weeks, when I had stopped bleeding. We couldn't wait until 6 weeks. Our sex life was great then, 3 times a week to every day/a few times a day. Ds was average sleeper, not too clingy and bottle fed. Sex is much less frequent now (but we're working on it). Then again we were both younger and more fit back then (I was 19 and a stone lighter) I think having ds brought us closer/made us love each other in a more intense way, and that made sex more intense.

ktab Mon 19-Jan-15 14:17:51

Wow, thank you, every

ktab Mon 19-Jan-15 14:23:05

Haha, guess who pressed send...

Anyway, thank you, everyone for the replies, I feel much better... A couple of people have said between 6/9 months which makes me feel so much better.

DS is 9 months and we are only just revving up to it. We have had a really stressful time (not so much with the baby) since baby arrived and just really haven't felt like it and as someone said BF really kills the sex drive.

I almost feel shy about it? Probably sounds very strange...

Thank you again for the support!

strawberryshoes Mon 19-Jan-15 15:58:59

I was one of the people who said 9 months, and I certainly felt weird about it when we did it. Shy and awkward - not helped by the fact I was still not exactly gagging for it at that point, but felt like if I didn't get back into things I might never!

2nd time, and beyond were all much better.

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