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I think Im an alchoholic but am lost and dont know where to start. I cant imagine living without booze but dont think can live with it. Scared

(9 Posts)
Thisisntmyname Sun 07-Dec-14 15:33:34

I was an inpatient in the priory last month for depression and trauma treamtent after an assault. They did an alcohol detox but I thought that was needed as been apparently 'self-medictaing' with spirits (anysad) in the mornings and then wine in afternon and evenings. Didnt have a drink for 2 weeks and felt fine but had a G&T with a friend met for christmas last friday.

Thought ok as had only couple and was honestly enough. But in nine days since have gone back to drinking every day and getting worse, so earlier and then more and more, and every day so i cant pretend I don't have a problem (which is what is honestly what I believed before now).

When I was in the priory they talked about having -physical craving and a mental obssession- and thats what Ive got now even though never ever EVER did before, but do nowsad. I can't see how I can't drink but know I have to stop soon or will end up needing a detox again.

Please dont laugh at me or flame me as i am struggling already. But if you can tell me how living without drinking is okay or how I will be okay or how I will get ok then youd be helping me so much. Thank you for readdingflowers

Am very sad

Squeegle Sun 07-Dec-14 15:45:34

Oh dear, I am so sorry you're going through this, it must be very hard for you. But god for you that you are facing it. I haven't had a drink problem myself but have lived with one for years as my Ex had a lot of drinking issues.

He found (and still finds) AA a source of great strength. He hasn't drunk for more than two years and is much happier and more balanced now. Have you come into contact with anyone from AA at all?

gingeroots Sun 07-Dec-14 18:16:45

Long running thread here for anyone struggling with alcohol

pop over there OP ,they'll welcome you ,hold your hand and generally be supportive and kind .They all know what it's like to be in your position .

Sending you strength and hugs .

ethelb Sun 07-Dec-14 18:18:28

A friend of mine was similar. Just couldn't drink sensibly. She found a good aa group (some didn't suit her and she didn't stick with it for long). She has now been sober about 18 months.

As you have already confronted the fact you have a problem, could joining aa help with the next steps towards being long term sober.

gingeroots Mon 08-Dec-14 08:19:49

new thread

Elibean Mon 08-Dec-14 14:53:04

Sweetheart, its a scary feeling - I remember it well. Can't live without, won't live long/well with. For what its worth, I think trying to stop or control drinking will sort of highlight the dependency - that may be why you're aware of cravings and obsession now, whereas before you just got on with it and drank alcohol without question or attempts to stop.
The assault trauma may well have made things worse, or (I don't know your drinking history pre-assault) may even be the underlying problem - but either way, you are entitled to support in stopping.
In your shoes, I would either try a women's AA meeting (ideally) or get in touch with the Priory and ask for their advice. They might, for example, just get you a couple of counselling sessions so you can weigh up for yourself whether the drink is the problem per se, and if so give advice or put you in touch with local AA meetings and/or a counsellor.

Personally, I had inpatient treatment (a very long time ago) and carried on attending 12-step groups for years, and I can promise you - the 'can't live without' feeling left me surprisingly fast. Support is the most important thing.

Well done for asking for help, which is the biggest hurdle for most of us, and I wish you well whatever you decide.

Elibean Mon 08-Dec-14 14:54:13

Just to clarify - 'ideally' was referring to a womens' meeting as opposed to a mixed one!

Thisisntmyname Mon 08-Dec-14 19:22:08

thanks Gingerroot for other thread and Elibean for identifying (and anyone that wrote anything too)

Elibean where abouts are you if you don't mind me asking. I just feel lost and a also so tired of now putting a front on for everyone (not that there are many in everyone IYKWIM, am pretty but not totally alone) pretending Im ok when Im really not. I did go to a AA meeting today but burst into tears and ran out.

Will repost this thread in thread gingerroot suggested to see if hlep there.

Thank you all[flower]

Thisisntmyname Mon 08-Dec-14 19:23:56

I don't mean I think 'Im pretty' (FFS, is very oppostie atm to be honestsad) I meant Im not toally alone, I do have a couple of friends but font think theyd understand if honest.

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