Talk

Flip

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

General health

Would you tell your friend to stop smoking?

8 replies

NotABraBurningOtter · 29/09/2006 10:00

one of my very best friends smokes. she has always smoked since 15 - stopping when pg but starying again - 3 times.
She is now 38 . She has always used the pill for contraception. i really want to tell her to stop - only i can - she hides smoking from dh and her parents.are pill/smoking links still there as from what i remember it was a big no-no. What should i do - i cant bear to see her damaging her health anymore?

OP posts:

Report

mosschops30 · 29/09/2006 10:02

leave it, she will be well aware of the risks and people nagging smokers has no effect whatsoever. She will only give up when she is ready.

Plus I dont think I would take kindly to be told to give up by a friend, its bad enough when my mother does it (and I'm 31)

Report

southeastastra · 29/09/2006 10:04

tell her to look on charliecats 'say No to nick o'teen thread!' some persuasive stuff on there.

Report

NotABraBurningOtter · 29/09/2006 10:05

i dont feel as though anyone nags her and thats the problem -

OP posts:

Report

lucy5 · 29/09/2006 10:06

She wouldn't listen even if you did.

Report

mosschops30 · 29/09/2006 10:11

why do you feel that nagging will help. Alan Carr wrote in his book about the fact that no matter how much nagging/horror stories/nasty adverts on tv, a smoker has to endure it makes no difference to their decision to give up or not.

I have to say my choice to give up has been my own, people have nagged me in the past and I dig my heels in a bit

Report

NotABraBurningOtter · 29/09/2006 16:59

i care about her alot and think the fact that she hides her smoking from even her dh means she is kidding herself a bit. Do gps put patients who smoke - on the pill or is she fibbing to them as well?

OP posts:

Report

WigWamBam · 29/09/2006 17:06

Nagging doesn't do any good - in fact it's counterproductive because it just makes people more inclined to do it more, not less.

You can't make the decision to quit for her, she has to want it herself. She will already be aware of the dangers of smoking; nothing you can do or say is going to make her stop unless she is ready to do it.

The GP will have warned her about the dangers of smoking whilst on the pill, but most GPs will still prescribe as once they have discussed the risks with the patient, it's the patient's choice.

If you want to keep her friendship, don't nag her. If you're close enough then tell her how it frightens you to think that she's damaging her health, but don't try and tell her what to do.

Report

NotABraBurningOtter · 29/09/2006 17:11

thankyou wigwam. Maybe i will say something,tbh on the telephone the other day i commented to her that she has a lot of chest infections etc and maybe it was down to smoking and she was quite curt with me and said it was stress and lack of sleep.
I am an ex ( occasional still) smoker myself so am not toatlly anti it per se - but think its just gone on too long....