friend with breast cancer

[neenienana]

Hi, can anyone advise me on an appropriate gift to get for my friend who is about to undergo a mastectomy. I have 50 quid to spend. Flowers seems a bit of a cliche and beauty treatments may make her feel a bit exposed. Just wondering if anyone had been through this and found comfort in something.

[Lilymaid]

I would repost this on the Tamoxigang thread. Lots of experience there so you should get an answer.

[bingoheads]

Hi, I've had breast cancer and a mastectomy. I would treat her to a lovely lunch somewhere, and give her the opportunity to talk loads about the operation and how she feels etc. I found that people assumed I wouldn't want to talk about it, and they kept trying to help by buying me stuff and arranging social things without talking about what was going on for me, which I just found exhausting.

Having said that, if you buy beauty products, I wouldn't worry about it being insensitive or anything, I'm sure your friend would appreciate it. I know I didn't feel any less feminine even with no hair and no boob!

You sound like a lovely friend.

[Delatron]

I have had breast cancer and friends bought me a reflexology treatment. It was lovely and relaxing! A posh lunch would have been lovely too. Echo the above comment about wanting to talk!

Such a nice, thoughtful gesture and it will mean a lot to her.

[smee]

DVD box sets worked for me - good for distraction after surgery. I got through WestWing - had to watch it properly to make sense of it, so that was a good way not to have to think about Cancer. Audio books quite good too. Bath things maybe not as she won't be able to soak for a while. But being there for her is the most important thing. What bingo says about talking was the same for me too. Get on top of what she's going through so she's got someone informed to talk to about it. If she's heading for chemo know when her cycles are and make sure you do supportive texts, offer to go with her for hospital appts if appropriate/ she'd like that. Lunches, etc all good once she's got through the first bit of shock. I didn't want to go anywhere much at first so don't be put off if she doesn't. Just wait a while and ask again.