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If you don't "do" hospitals and put your head in the sand regarding health issues but then had to have an op ...

(31 Posts)
sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 00:16:28

... what did you do?

... how did you cope?

... did you get through it OK?

... or not?

LovelyBath Mon 03-Mar-14 09:47:30

I would advise to try and get the op out the way quickly. It is far better to have planned surgery than things getting worse and needing emergency surgery. I've been through this...also the recovery can be better the sooner you deal with things. Leaving it can make eg scarring / adhesions worse afterwards due to increased inflammation (depending on the nature of the condition of course)

I've had both planned and emergency surgery and planned was SO much better so just bear that in mind smile

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 13:52:34

Thank you for your reply LovelyBath - much appreciated

Your point about things getting worse and needing emergency surgery makes absolute sense. I just need to get a grip [whimpers]

I will bear it in mind though!! Thank you! Will take next steps ...

chocoluvva Mon 03-Mar-14 14:32:36

It'll be fine - the hospital staff will have had lots of experience of nervous patients. Is there anything in particular that's worrying you?

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 16:24:01

Thanks chocoluvva

Everything is worrying me I'm afraid

Am phobic about hospitals/find it difficult to go in one/never mind actually stay in one. Always too hot. Claustrophobic. I like my privacy.

Nature of procedure itself (involving gastric/digestive stuff), the embarrassment, the lack of control, the lack of dignity.

Feeling ill. Post-op vomiting. What they might find.

Everything really grin

It's a bit pathetic I know ....

LastingLight Mon 03-Mar-14 16:51:50

I don't think it's pathetic at all. I hate hospitals. I've had anaesthetic 3 times in my life and hope that I never need to again. I hate the loss of control, and how terrible I feel when I wake up. Last time I went was also for a rather embarrassing op. I got through by reminding myself that the staff has seen everything before and by just "zoning out" and enduring until I could go home. Rather get it over and done with as soon as possible so that you can stop worrying about it. Good luck.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes Mon 03-Mar-14 17:02:06

Well, as you know I had a fairly big, embarrassing op about 18 months ago. I wasn't as worried about it as you are, but it is very natural to be concerned about all those things. What I would say is that every single person I encountered during my stay was lovely, kind and supportive. That included all the other women on the ward with me, we were all best friends after 24 hours. My anaesthetic didn't give me any sickness afterwards (obviously no guarantees on that one). None of the staff made me feel as though my questions were silly or trivial, they just got on with looking after us all and getting us ready to go home. It was the same when I had to stay in last year with DS having surgery. <hugs>

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes Mon 03-Mar-14 17:03:38

I would tell your team about these worries about your pre-op appointment, together with any specific concerns and questions (write it down beforehand). Ask about post-op care and restrictions too, very important.

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 17:04:16

Thank you Lastinglight

That's v. kind of you. And you are right about the worry getting me down! I know it's best to go ahead and nip it in the bud. And will remember about trying to zone out.

I do feel pathetic though and can't really talk to dh about it. He's not being purposefully unkind, it's just he's a very pragmatic/logical type and can't understand why I'm dithering and making such a fuss. He had to have an op in the summer and just went in and out, totally calm, and he can't understand why I'm worried. I think I have too much imagination for my own good!

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 17:20:40

Hello Whoknows lovely to 'see' you on here smile [waves]!!

Thank you for taking the time out to reply and for your advice. It's really reassuring to hear about the good treatment you had and how supportive everyone was.

I know this sounds really horrible but I am very worried about being on a ward. I get panicky in enforced 'group' situations; never mind where illness is involved. I think that makes me a not very nice person sad but it's true so no point in beating about the bush.

Yes, med team know about my fears, not least because I have cancelled twice. (I wasn't taking slot away from anyone else btw - cancelled mahoosively far in advance - and we live in a country where health care is mandatorily private ie you pay for most of it - so more autonomy/control over appts/timing of ops etc).

It's also an exploratory op because of symptoms I have been having. Could be absolutely nothing serious. Could also be the reverse. So, in a way, don't want to know.

Except symptoms getting worse now and have to tackle it. Driving eveyrone around me mad for one thing! My dsis is threatening to come over from UK and book op herself if I don't do it!! grin

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 17:20:53

Thanks again everyone!

iliketea Mon 03-Mar-14 17:24:55

Is it possible for you to pay extra to have a private room for after your operation (once you've left the recovery unit, normally an hour or so after surgery). I know your not in the UK, but when I was giving birth, in an Nhs hospital, there was an option to pay for a private room, that might alleviate the anxiety about the enforced groups in the ward.

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 17:28:34

iliketea yes, thanks, you can ask for one in this system and I'll do so (and pay extra) but it's not always guaranteed as it depends on how busy they are at the time/emergencies etc. For example, I had a cs for dd, and had a private room most of the time, but if I'd stayed a day longer I would have had to share. It's a very sensible system actually. I should just get over myself!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes Mon 03-Mar-14 17:31:22

I will pm you later. Please put away any thoughts of not being a nice person or I will be over there on the tails of your sister to give you a good talking to!

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 17:36:11

Thank you again Whoknows grin

mrsblakey Mon 03-Mar-14 18:40:00

Sans I have exactly the same fears - see my threads on fear of GA & procedure has been cancelled twice now not by me which has exacerbated my phobia.
my husband sounds similar to yours in that he can't understand my fears so you see you are not alone.
I know I have to have the procedure but I too am petrified by the thought of it.Am happy to be supportive to you in moving ahead together on this one.

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 22:01:40

Thank you MrsBlakey that is so kind of you! It would be great to move together on it - is it OK if I pm you?

Sorry to hear that your operation has been cancelled several times. That can only add to your nerves!

I'll go in search of your thread ...

cafecito Mon 03-Mar-14 22:10:25

hospitals are great really, very peaceful at times actually - an ethereal place where wonderful things can happen for people and everyone is there to help you

confused grin that didn't help did it - maybe being as informed as possible about what they will do will help you? take all the things to distract yourself, ask all the questions you want. they will be pleased to answer and explain. it's important you feel in control so remember at any time you can leave, ask them to stop, have chaperones, and so forth. it's all for your benefit, like a spa day or something ok I will stop its not working

wards are orrible but exploratory = hopefully up and out fast. curtains are there for a reason, pull them and be antisocial. take headphones. be busy read a favourite novel or write or whatever and plan something nice for when you've got it all done

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 22:15:39

Ha! Cafecito thanks, that made me cackle!!

Yes, headphones are a definite!!!

And the control point is a good one. Knowing I can ask for it all to stop is good isn't it? Yes, it is. Definitely ... .

And if I ever get through the whole thing alive and with even half my dignity intact, don't worry, I will be celebrating in extravagant style grin

cafecito Mon 03-Mar-14 22:59:18

you could pass the time by spotting the McDreamy, House or Clooney lookalikes


writing a blog on how not to talk to people in confined spaces

possibilities are endless!

definitely read up on what they're doing though if you haven't already in a sufficient detail that enables you to ask the questions you want to and get a level of detail in the answer that will help you to understand as deeply as possible about what's going on. I know head in sand is nice (I do it myself) but when thrust into the situation, it's really nicer to feel a sense you really know what's happening and why. or maybe that's my god complex talking. hohum

best of luck with it! flowers

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 23:01:57

How I would love to see a House lookalike grin!!!

Point taken about going in there forewarned and forearmed!! Will write everything down too in case I go all gibberish!

Thanks grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes Mon 03-Mar-14 23:07:27

Have you started a thread about your actual complaint and op? You might find comfort from others in the same boat, as well as useful info.

LineRunner Mon 03-Mar-14 23:12:14

The wards are usually four beds and I just stuck my curtains round most of the time.

If there's a next time I'll definitely take ear plugs!

I tried to sleep a lot (was in with unexpected pulmonary embolism) and pretty much did what I was told without question until I was bolshy enough to interrogate the poor sods and negotiate my release.

sanschocolat Mon 03-Mar-14 23:30:40

I would do Whoknows (and may do yet) but I'm having a combination of things investigated so a bit difficult to set out logically without writing nine pages of postings!! May do so when I get a bit more specific info from consultant though.

I like your attitude LineRunner and thanks for the tips! Four beds doesn't seem too overwhelming ... although might be different over here. Hope they managed to sort your embolism - that sounds scary!

LineRunner Mon 03-Mar-14 23:35:25

Touch wood, I seem to be all fine now, thanks, OP.

Seriously, do not be afraid to put the curtains round. They are there for privacy.

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