Talk

It's safe to say I'm more than a little scared. I had my third dc 2 years ago, very quick birth. My first brith was pretty horrific, three hours pushing a posterior baby and I think I actually had a mild prolapse after this. Now I think I have a pretty bad rectocele as well as a front prolapse and I'm so cross at myself for not going sooner I have a massive fear of internals since my first dc was induced, I was treated very roughly. I have been incredibly sore for the last week, have had a look and my vulva looks really red and sore by the perineum. It almost looks like its rubbed against something and has swollen if that makes sense. But I noticed just how prominent the prolapse is and I know I need to get this dealt with. I don't know if this soreness is linked at all. I have an appointment first thing tomorrow and I'm actually shaking with fear. It's with the nurse practitioner rather than a gp, and tbh I haven't thought she was very sympathetic when I've seen her before. I am so close to cancelling but I cannot live with this soreness. I'm scared, which is pathetic really. I just feel very vulnerable and embarrassed. I need people to pile in and tell me that nurses have seen everything before and that it'll be ok. This time tomorrow it'll all be over and I'm trying to hold onto that though. Part of me is terrified they'll find something seriously wrong.