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Feeling low

(10 Posts)
busybee123 Wed 10-Mar-04 11:19:39

my baby is 4 weeks old today. i have 2 other kids aged 4 and 2. mt 4 year old is suppose to be at nursery but i just can't be bothered to take him. the pile of washing is bigger everytime i look, and my baby has colic. I'm trying to potty train my 2 year old as well. The place is a mess and I'm not even dressed yet!! I feel such a faliure if I don't get the place clean in time for hubbys return (not that he really cares what state the place is in!) as i am very traditional and belive in dinner on the table for when hubby gets home etc. I am only 23 but I feel 83 some days. How can I be this tired and fed up at such a young age!? Plenty of others manage it! I had to stop breast feeding my baby as he was feeding for 3 hours at a time and still being topped up with a bottle afterwards. Plus i needed to get back onto my migraine medication. Will things ever get better or will i always have an untidy house!?

mothernature Wed 10-Mar-04 11:28:30

busybee123, Im not surprised you feel this way at the moment with everything you have on your plate, baby @ 4 weeks and 2 more under 5, things will get better, you will be organised, but you have to push yourself to do it, try not to take on so much, do one thing at once, get up, feed all, get 4 year old to nursery then tackle things slowly. I have been there done that as I had 3 under 3, I had no help and was stuck in house for first few months, but you will get through it I promise, set you stall out dont worry about cleaning, look after yourself and the babies tackle things one by one and you will feel better.

busybee123 Wed 10-Mar-04 11:30:15

I just can't see an end to it all!!

mothernature Wed 10-Mar-04 11:55:19

busybee123 dont worry things will get better and easier...((hugs))

Kayleigh Wed 10-Mar-04 12:03:25

busybee123, do you have a local college near you that does nursery nurse/ childcare courses? In some boroughs you are able to take someone on day release (no cost) if you have 3 under 5. I have a friend in colchester who did this and also one locally in herts. You are not allowed to actually leave the children with them but it is another pair of hands to help with everything.

Where about are you ?

collision Wed 10-Mar-04 12:17:38

I really feel for you as sometimes everything is so overwhelming. Is there anyone that could drop your eldest at nursery? Why dont you delay potty training til the Summer when it is warmer? I was trying to pottytrain ds but gave up after 3 weeks and the 3rd poo down his leg!! Will try again in the summer. Is your Mum around to help at all? If your DH is OK about the house and you can leave it then do so......just concentrate on you and the children. It WILL get better. Hugs

Thomcat Wed 10-Mar-04 12:41:12

Sorry you feel so rotten and who could blame you, but.... time for a bit of tough love now (!).... it won't get better unless you take charge. Easy said i know but you have to shake yourself take a deepo breath and one thing at a time start to regain control.

Not taking 4 yr old to nursery may feel easier than having to leave house, but he's one more person for you to have to think about etc while he's in the house. Is there anyone that could do you a favour and take him for a week while you start to get things sorted.

Colic - yeah that is rubbish, but won't go on for ever and just do what you can while it lasts. infacol before feeds, colief.... I don't really know as I was very lucky and escaped this. Maybe if carring baby around helps get a sling thing and just have him/her wrapped round you while you do stuff in the house.

Go and put a wash on now - just do it. it'll take 5 minures and you'll feel so much better.

Who cares about not being dresses! Don't worry about it.

Don't be too hard on yourself babes and just do a bit at a time and it will get better. Maybe you have Post natal depression??? There are loads of threads where that has been discussed and maybe you should see your GP about it. Don't underestimate PND.

You're so young and with 3 young kids and and all that goes with it you must be a bit down and really shattered. Ask for help and just try and tackly the small things and the big stuff will follow.

You're going to be fine, you just need help for a bit, we all do sometimes.

Keep posing.

Lots of love, and sympathy , xx

juniper68 Wed 10-Mar-04 12:44:01

Try not to be so hard on yourself busybee x I have a 3 yr old and 6 yr old and two and half hours to myself every morning and my house is a mess! As for washing, it's the bain of my life. I don't iron, just put stuff away and iron as needed. I have one of those things for over the bath to dry clothes. And as for putting it all away, enough said
Can your husband help out more, even if it's just doing one chore that you hate loads. You really can't be expected to do everything, it's not possible. If there's anyone at all that can help don't be afraid to ask.

juniper68 Wed 10-Mar-04 12:46:34

Oh yeah, meant to say my 3 and half year old is only just starting to potty train.

motherinferior Wed 10-Mar-04 12:52:42

Your youngest is FOUR WEEKS? No wonder you're feeling rough, girl. I felt terrible with both of mine at that stage. Of course you're knackered. Everyone is at this point. You're still recovering from the birth/pregnancy in many ways, I can assure you. I was drowning, going under, sobbing my heart out with just two, not one.

Thomcat has some brilliant advice. Forget the potty training - I left it at your stage, for just the same reasons and the good thing is that dd1 got the hang of it straight away after we'd left it so long.

If the house is getting you down - really down - clear it. If not, don't. If you can get out to a shop which sells big plastic boxes, get some and shove the clutter in them till you can shift it further. It helps, believe me.

It might be time to re-think who cooks dinner. But don't forget to eat yourself, during the day, as well - I know it's really easy not to bother and then suddenly you're near collapse.

It does get better. It does. Three children do not lend themselves to tidiness, it must be said, but you WILL get through this. I know, because I did. And so did so many of us.

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