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**Tamoxigang heading towards hearts and valentines - thread 47**

(991 Posts)
BetsyBoop Fri 07-Feb-14 10:40:26

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but cakes are better

<loads up the trolley>

Lilymaid Fri 07-Feb-14 16:12:40

Goodbits I will slide the tiered cake stand over towards you! I can also say from my experience that wigs are very good and that no one who hasn't been told would realise that you are wearing a wig e.g. people where I work.

reallyreallyworried Fri 07-Feb-14 16:28:40

Hi all

Just got back from hospital. Saw Neurologist before I left and he was happy with how things went. Have been given a huge list of things to look out for! Have to go back everyday for the next 2wks to have bloods checked daily!

Then assuming all goes okay, I get to make the same decision again in 3 wks! Yay lucky me!

I feel I made the best decision for me, but at the same time I feel like I am going to be walking on egg shells for the next few weeks sad I just feel so emotional right now! Getting through Chemo was one thing but having to deal with this on top, IT'S NOT FAIR! Keep questioning what I did wrong sad could I of prevented it. Does somebody 'up there' not like me! You name it I have thought it.

Anyway I should try and have a sleep, I am shattered.

But thanks again for all the support. I'll try not to be a miserable cow anymore, I will try and find a bit of positivity! Xxxx

Marshy Fri 07-Feb-14 16:44:02

Well done really. You absolutely don't have anything to apologise for.

BetsyBoop Fri 07-Feb-14 17:22:16

seriously well done really, what a tough week you've had. Some folks seem to float through life with "nowt's a bother" and others seem to have one stressful thing after another...You are right it isn't fair, but that's just the way it is.... Be kind to yourself this weekend and if you don't feel like working next week then just don't, you have a lot on your plate, time to put yourself first. (You are amazing to have worked this far)

welcome goodbits though sorry you are here.

Well last day of sick leave today, back to work on Monday. Still undecided as to whether I'll go with scarf or very short hair, but swaying towards short hair at the moment, so as to avoid the "when do I remove scarf" conundrum.

malteserzz Fri 07-Feb-14 17:23:04

Really you are bound to feel like that none if it is fair. You're not a miserable cow at all you are lovely so please keep posting however you feel, you don't have to put a brave face on here smile

malteserzz Fri 07-Feb-14 17:24:34

Betsy do whatever you feel most comfortable with either will be fine and your hair is coming back well smile

harrietv Fri 07-Feb-14 17:29:08

Hi everyone
Good luck really what a hard choice, I'm sure you've made the right decision and am also sure you'll be watched like a hawk.
My results are in and it's good news (in this scheme of these things!). The entire tumor was DCIS. Bigger than we thought (3.5cm not 2cm) and aggressive HER2+ ER- as biopsy said. All but one margin clear so BS wanted to go in and do another lumpectomy to get clear margins but I'm going for mx. It's what I initially wanted and with a 50% chance of any returning cancer being invasive I think I just want off and done with it. Having genetics done first as DAunt died at 50 of ovarian cancer so will see what that says. Feel incredibly lucky though and so grateful for all your support.
If you'll still have me despite not being a legit tamoxigang member, I'll push the tea trolleyand hang around and grab any thoughts on mx.
Hope wren feeling Ok and updating that you're feeling strong with the chemo approach. Likewise goodbits, and hello.
Any news goodness?

Marshy Fri 07-Feb-14 17:36:32

That's great news Harriet. Mine was dcis and I went straight to mx as there was loads of it so no choice. I'm happy with the result.

Goodness has posted on the other thread - I think it's the news she was hoping for

malteserzz Fri 07-Feb-14 17:44:56

Great news Harriet really pleased for you and of course you are still welcome to stay it's still a huge ordeal to go through

kitkat1967 Fri 07-Feb-14 17:47:21

Good news Harriet - are you planning to go for reconstruction?

harrietv Fri 07-Feb-14 17:59:46

Thanks guys, and yes to reconstruction.

I'm erring towards implant as less to recover from and less scarring.

But I have small a or b cup boobs and BS says it'll be hard to make it look balanced with an implant unless he takes me a bit bigger and gives me an implant in my other breast too. I think after 2 kids and 37 years my perky little boobs are now, ur...a bit hangy (!) which is hard to match with implants.

Not really sure what I think about that. At this stage obviously freeing myself of cancer is the priority. I suppose down the line I'll be more bothered with what I look like. Seems a bit mad to have surgery on a healthy boob (from the ouch perspective) just for an implant. If I was having a preventative mx it would be different, but adding in an implant - perhaps it's not that painful? Has anyone had this done?

Great news goodness that it's a sarcoma (you know what i mean!) No further treatment? How are you getting on in recovery?

kitkat1967 Fri 07-Feb-14 18:44:44

oooo Harriet - yes I just had that done and I love my new boob. I was a B cup but as the implant only side sits really high it would never have matched my droopy old boob. So the surgeon put a small implant (110cc) in my own boob to lift it and give it 'oomph' and then 490cc in the implant only side. They are def both the same size but the implant only one is still higher and flatter - looks great in a bra or a biniki though. My surgeon will do a lift on my old boob when I go back in the Spring if they still don't match (we're waiting to see if the new one drops a bit and he's going to make me a nipple too!!).
There was virtually no pain from either side - took a couple of paracetamol for the first few days only but I had already had the mx done so this was reconstruction only.
I'm a good C cup I'd say now but when measured in JL they insisted I was a D (surgeon said I could only get an underwired bra if I was professionally measured).

BetsyBoop Fri 07-Feb-14 19:13:46

great news harriet smile

and although I can't exactly say "great news" goodness that you've been told you have cancer, it was the lesser of two evils in the end, so that has to be a positive. How are you getting on now you are home?

mummymoo47 Fri 07-Feb-14 19:17:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gigondas Fri 07-Feb-14 19:19:48

Er mummy did you mean to post here?

Hugs for really. And also goodness for getting your results.

Waves to everyone else.

honeybeeridiculous Fri 07-Feb-14 19:54:10

goodness great news (if you can call it good news but you know what I mean!)
DF has got a planning appointment for mask fitting confused on Tuesday, they will do an ultrasound to characterise some nodes in his neck, whatever that means! He will then also get his appointment times for radiotherapy, so it's all systems go,

reallyreallyworried Fri 07-Feb-14 20:16:24

sad just had a huge row with my mum on the phone! She's angry and upset that I didn't tell her what has been happening. I knew she would be, but I thought she might understand my reasons why. But it appears not.

I've now got a headache, and am feeling sick. Think it's just from getting too worked up and crying. But looks like I might have to call Chemo unit sad

Gigondas Fri 07-Feb-14 20:25:07

Give them a call to be sure but I am sure headache is result of long stressful day ( and night ).

I can see how your mum was worried but she is being unreasonable to tahr it out on you.

malteserzz Fri 07-Feb-14 20:39:34

Oh really sad I understand how she feels but she shouldn't take it out on you like that. Are you going to call or try and calm down and see how it goes ?

reallyreallyworried Fri 07-Feb-14 20:47:36

Going to give it an hour! Trying hard to calm down, but it's hard. It's been a long tough day, and I've just had enough. sad Wish I hadn't said anything to her!

Don't really want to call the hospital, they'll think I am some sort of paranoid idiot. So lots of deep breathing and snuggled up in bed. Just can't stop crying! Times like this is when I miss my best friend, she would of known exactly what to say to help. In fact she would of been here giving me a hug! Life's really shit sometimes!

BetsyBoop Fri 07-Feb-14 20:54:39

really she's your Mum and she's worried about you, she's upset that she can't take all this away from you, she's scared of the possible-maybes just like you are. Go easy on yourself and her. Try things that will help you relax (warm bath, soothing music, reading/DVD?) but after doing all that you still feel rough you really need to call the chemo unit. Don't be so hard on yourself. xx

harrietv Fri 07-Feb-14 20:55:47

don't even think about being a paranoid idiot. nobody in your situation could ever be considered a paranoid idiot and you are allowed chemo on the basis that you are very closely monitored. this means allowing them to monitor you whenever it's needed....not saying call them, try and relax of course, but don't not call them because you don't want to look stupid. that's what they're there for.
your mum is completely unreasonable taking it out on you and i'm sure she'll regret it. but it's just her stress coming out so try and stick it in a balloon and let it float away. it's because she cares.
sending om vibes and deep breathing...

Marshy Fri 07-Feb-14 21:05:39

Sending you lots of calming vibes really.

Its a sensible plan to leave it a bit but do ring them if you need to.

Thinking of you...

M0naLisa Fri 07-Feb-14 21:30:31

Hi ladies. Been told to check this thread out by Kurri. (Thank you)

Lately I've noticed my left nipple is inverted. I can manipulate it out with force but as soon as I let go it goes back in. The nipple area is very sunken in. I had my third DS 14mths ago. I thought it was normal but lately it's getting me worried. I've not been to the drs or spoken to anyone until now.

BetsyBoop Fri 07-Feb-14 21:35:13

mona welcome - if you have noticed a change get it checked - your GP can refer you to the breast clinic. It is most probably nothing, but safest to get it checked just in case.

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