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My dad seems to have given up on life...

5 replies

Mamabear12 · 21/12/2013 21:45

Hi All, my dad has always been more on the depressive side...but it's gotten worse with retirement. He just sleeps all day, doesn't have much interest in anything. In the last two years, something has happened to him physically, as he can barely walk now! He refuses to see a doctor. I'm not sure what to do?

Is there a way to force someone to get checked out? He will be in a wheelchair in the next year if he doesn't do something! He just gets mad if I bring it up. :(

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Lettucesnow · 21/12/2013 22:09

I don't see why you can't make an appointment with his GP to just tell of your concerns. The GP doesn't have to talk about him but may decide to pay a visit. Sometimes people go past knowing they need help.

You must be a very concerned and caring daughter.

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Mamabear12 · 21/12/2013 22:39

Thanks for your response. I forgot to add, he lives in the US and is visiting now for Xmas. He doesn't have a doctor bc he has refused to go for past 30 plus years! But it's only the past two years his walking has become an issue. To the point in the airport, staff stopped him and asked if he needed assistance. In the end he had to use wheelchair bc gateways too far. I've thought about trying to trick him into seeing a doctor when I visit home early next year. But my mom said if he refuses when we get to dr office, they can not see him against his will. It's so frustrating bc I don't understand why he just won't get help. It must be a phobia of doctors or fear of something serious being wrong. Also, it's ending up my mom having to care for him and that is not fair on her!

I wish he would at least try to be happy and take care of himself.

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thenightsky · 21/12/2013 22:43

How old is he? Can you get your local GP to see him whilst he is in the UK this week? Get some advice at least.

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Lettucesnow · 22/12/2013 10:31

I think you should lay your cards on the table and tell him how much his stubbornness/fear is upsetting you and mom. You have said you 'don't know' why but you need to know so that

a). you can take the frustration from your not understanding and

b). to get the appropriate help.

If you don't get anywhere it has to be Mom to take advice back in the US.

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Mamabear12 · 23/12/2013 22:59

The night sky, He is only 69! Far too young to be walking like this! My father in law is 75 and walks so much better! I will talk to my gp after Xmas to see if they can see him.

Lettucesnow, we plan to sit him down (again!) for a serious talk after Xmas. I suspect he is just scared.

We might have to try and get a doctor to come to the house and see him!