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just found out my ddad has lung cancer. Can someone please talk to me about it?

(30 Posts)
acrabadabra Wed 18-Dec-13 21:33:21

He had a cat scan this morning and by this afternoon his gp had visited him at home to give him the diagnosis.

He's been told he should see an oncologist before xmas.

He has been losing weight for a few months. Struggling to walk any distance for maybe a year.

It's not good is it?

Lost my mum 2 years ago just after having my dd. Thought my dad would last forever.

acrabadabra Tue 07-Jan-14 16:06:15

Just back from the cancer clinic. He's got 6 months. Maybe less. It is squamous cell lung cancer and has metastasised to the lymph nodes in his neck and chest.

He's going to start a course of palliative radiotherapy. Hopefully next week. Big backlog due to the holidays.

Wanted to ask if anyone has experience of telling small dcs (they're just 4.2 & 2.7). They see gd very regularly and, though I've said he's poorly, I want to explain it in a way they'll understand. When my mum died my oldest was just 20 months so it was much easier.

Any suggestions?

Matildathecat Tue 07-Jan-14 17:15:35

Really sorry to hear your news. Re children this may be helpful

Speaking to the advice line might be useful, too. Best wishes to you and your family.

Shakshuka Tue 07-Jan-14 18:14:53

I'm so sorry acra and I hope I didn't give you false hope. Every cancer is so different.

My mum passed away from breast cancer in October. My kids are older than yours (they were 6 and 9 when she died) but when she first had cancer they were about the same age. In my opinion, being honest and open about it is really important. When they asked if Grandma/Grandpa are going to die, I told them honestly that they might (and later with my Mum, when we knew, that she was going to die). It's also important to make sure they understand and let them have an opportunity to express any fears or feelings they may have and ask questions.

acrabadabra Tue 07-Jan-14 18:32:25

They already knew that granda was poorly. I guess I'm just going to say that he's probably going to get more poorly and tired.

I want to say something about mummy being sad and angry and that if they feel like that it's ok and they should talk to us about it. And if they have any questions.

It might mean a few changes to their routine but I think I'll leave that till it happens.

What other things should I be anticipating?

acrabadabra Tue 07-Jan-14 18:36:01

I did pick up a booklet at the cancer clinic today about telling children but it's aimed at older kids and also from the viewpoint of the cancer patient being a parent.

Not read it fully though so will have another look tonight.

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