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Help needed urgently - please

(12 Posts)
Chinchilla Wed 25-Feb-04 12:49:45

I need some web sites for rape information. I have found a few on line, but none that seemd countrywide and/or professional. It is not for me, but someone close to me. I am seeing her tonight, so I would really appreciate the info. if anyone knows of any good sites. It is related to drug rape particularly.


Helsbels Wed 25-Feb-04 12:54:52

sorry Chinchilla - don't know of any sites but just a word of warning - be prepared for this person not to be very open about her experience. Play it really cool. It may be you just sit and hold her hand and say nothing. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you xx

twiglett Wed 25-Feb-04 12:55:55

message withdrawn

Chinchilla Wed 25-Feb-04 13:04:19

She won't go to the police. I 'phoned them this morning, but they could not help unless she will report it. They do have victim support, but the pc said that it is always done through them after a reported rape. He was meant to ring me back this am, with a number that she could ring, but so far he hasn't got back to me.

The trouble is that this attack happened on Friday night, so there will be no forensic evidence now. Also, because of the effect of the drug, she is not completely sure whether she could have asked this guy home. She had had a fair bit to drink, but I have seen her drink a lot, and she has never totally forgotten anything. The pc said that it did sound as if she had been drugged, from what I had told him, but that obviously he didn't know her, so it was impossible to tell.

She is single and young, so she has had a fair few men home for the night. However, she told me that this man had been interested for a few weeks, and that she had made it perfectly obvious to him that she was not interested. She is not the type to sleep with just anyone, especially someone that she doesn't like.

The 'trouble' is that, because of her sexual history of having a lot of partners, she feels that she almost brought this on herself. I know that it is NOT her fault. It is ironic that only last week I warned her of her lifestyle. She said that my words are now ringing round in her head, so that makes me feel worse for her. I did not want to be proved right

Helsbels Wed 25-Feb-04 13:33:12

Don't think like that, Chinchilla, a lot of us have had wild lifestyles but they don't all end up like this. She can still report it despite lack of evidence, that way if he offends again, it will be on record. Just stay calm for her, don't get angry about it (not outwardly) as this usually does not help. The trouble is that we all expect people to be decent and 'human' and some of them are not. Br strong for her, try to encourage her to report it for others sakes as these men do not usually stop at one especially if they have 'got away with it'

EMJ Wed 25-Feb-04 13:36:10

Chinchilla what part of the country do you live in only I know of someone in the same situation, also same night!!

Chinchilla Wed 25-Feb-04 17:01:45

Colchester EMJ. Could it be the same area? The only thing is that I THINK I am the only person she has told...

I have had a 'phone call from Victim Support. I now have a number and name for her to call if she decides to report it, as this person can go with her to the police. Also, she can call just to talk to someone. I will give it to her tonight. I am still interested if anyone has any more information though. I expect this might get more replies hen the evening Mumsnetters come on here.

Chinchilla Wed 25-Feb-04 17:03:47

Helsbels - It is not me that thinks like that. The PC told me that there would not be any forensic evidence now. He said that it was worse because the drug must have been administered in the pub, which means that it will be totally impossible to find any traces of it, whereas, if it had been in the home, there is a higher chance.

Chinchilla Wed 25-Feb-04 21:45:29

Bump...anyone anything to add?

WideWebWitch Wed 25-Feb-04 22:55:07

Might The Roofie foundation be worth ringing? I'm sorry about your friend, poor woman.

robinw Thu 26-Feb-04 06:25:52

message withdrawn

EMJ Thu 26-Feb-04 09:07:14

Chinchilla - Not the same, but very weird same night same circumstances. Hope everything goes OK with your friend, I know how hard it is when you are the only person that she has turned to.

Hang in there. ()

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