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To think I might have Aspergers Syndrome? (warning, long)

(69 Posts)
PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 21:54:56

I'm not sure if this probably should go in health, but I suppose this is as good a place as any.

I don't even know what I want to gain from posting this, defiantly not for a diagnosis. I guess I just want reassurance that I'm not crazy to consider the possibility that I might have it and maybe see if there's other people here who didn't get a diagnosis until later on in life.

For a few years now I've actually wondered whether I have Aspergers syndrome. I'm going to say something quite cliché here but I've always been aware that I'm 'different', even from a very young age, around 5 or so I was always very aware that I wasn't like other people my age. One of the main things is I've always struggled with social situations. I don't always know when it's my turn to speak and often get confused about what is considered acceptable or inappropriate when talking to people. There have been numerous instances where I've said something inappropriate and not realised that it is until somebody points it out to me. Because I don't always know what to say or what is always appropriate means I often just stay quiet. I've been labelled as being shy ever since I was young child which I've always just went along with but I think it's more than that. It's not that I'm shy, I just stay quiet because of the reasons I mentioned above. I'd rather stay quiet than say something completely inappropriate or offensive without realising it and upsetting someone.

General day to day social situations also confuse me so much. This is going to sound stupid but I just don't "get" general chit chat and have no idea how to engage in it. As a result of my social awkwardness I've found it hard to make and keep friends.

I like routine. I always plan things down to the last detail, even something as basic as going to the shop and whenever something happens that means my plan can't go ahead as normal, for example a bus being late or someone I'm supposed to be meeting being late, I get upset and panicked. I like everything done a specific way and pretty much have a basic routine I stick to on a day to day basis and if something disrupts this then like I said before I get really upset. Which is silly, I don't even know why I do.

Then there's the fact I get fixated on certain things. Ever since I was little, I've went through phases of being obsessed with a particular game/tv show/film/book to the point where I think about the subject I'm obsessed with at that time pretty much for a good portion of the day, every day. When I get fixated on the subject, I browse the web on the subject, desperate to find every little bit of information I can, want to talk about it constantly and read/watch/play whatever it is I'm fixated on every day. Then when one obsession ends, it is replaced by another.

Hopefully I'm not going on too much, but I've always also been very sensitive to sound and touch. Loud noises seem to grate right through me and I get annoyed by sounds that other people can't even seem to hear. I get the feeling sounds seem louder to me than other people. I also find it very hard to filter out background noise. If I need to concentrate I need complete silence. I also hate people touching me when I'm not expecting it or even when I am expecting it, I still don't like it. This is embarrassing but I've never actually had sex even though I'm 22blush. It's not that I don't want to but I hate the idea of someone being that physically close to me. Actually doing something that intimate with someone is just too much for me. Even kissing is often too much for me to handle and can make me panic.

When I first started to suspect I have AS I actually looked it up, thought it sounded a lot like me but there were certain things that didn't fit me and made me think that I couldn't possibly have it because of this or that or whatever. But then not long ago I came across an article about females with the disorder and it made me do a double take.

It was this article I came across originally

I've since did more research on females with it and it seems to describe me down to a t. When I originally looked up the disorder, I didn't realise that females often present different symptoms to males and what I originally read up on it was probably based more around males with the disorder which is why I thought that it sounded a bit like me but not completely and why some things sounded off.

The things that are listed as female specific traits of AS that fit me include: often crying because of emotional overload, clapping my hands whenever I get excited, my obsessions being based around celebrities, tv shows, characters, etc as mentioned above rather than numbers, statistics, etc. Those are just a couple of examples, there are more apparently female only specific traits that fit me too.

However I think I'm actually pretty good at hiding my difficulties I've had which females are apparently better at than males. Even so that does make me wonder whether it would actually be possible to cover it up as well as I do if I had the disorder.

I have no idea about how I would even get a diagnosis either, especially given the fact I'm female and they often get overlooked when it comes to diagnosis. I'm not even sure if it would be even worth getting a diagnosis.

I'd be interested to hear from other ladies who didn't get a diagnosis until adulthood about whether it would be worth it or not.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 18-Oct-13 21:58:02

Please please report your post and get it moved to health,I'm a bit concerned that you may get some very unpleasant responses and you don't need that.

But best of luck and chat to your gp about a referral x

Dawndonnaagain Fri 18-Oct-13 21:58:08

I was diagnosed at 45. Go to your GP and get a referral to CLASS.
Definitely worth a go if you are wondering and yes, it's surprisingly easy to cover it in most circumstances.

PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 21:59:21

Why would I get some unpleasant responses? I think it's probably best if it went in health anyways.

PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 22:01:25

How do I get it moved?

I'm scared that if I go to my GP he'll say I don't have it and won't refer me anywhere. Out of curiosity, dawn, how does it get diagnosed?

Goldmandra Fri 18-Oct-13 22:01:25

I can't comment as, although I definitely have lots of traits I've never been assessed. Both my DDs have it.

Even so that does make me wonder whether it would actually be possible to cover it up as well as I do if I had the disorder.

My DD1 is so skilled at covering her symptoms that lots of her previous school staff believed she didn't have it despite seeing her every day for four years.

It is perfectly possible for you to have covered up your difficulties this well.

What you need to ask now is how a DX would help you. Is it about understanding yourself better, getting support or something else?

PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 22:07:55

I guess it would be to understand myself better. I've went through my whole life pretty much thinking I'm some kind of freak, that there's something wrong with me. Having a diagnosis would also take the pressure off me. By that I mean, my family are aware of my quirks and always try to get me to change them, especially regarding the social situations. If I had an official diagnosis then at least I could tell them there's a reason for it, I'm not just being awkward.

ICameOnTheJitney Fri 18-Oct-13 22:07:58

Pepsi people here will find any reason to give a nasty response. This is's an open war zone. Ask to get it moved.

Crowler Fri 18-Oct-13 22:10:31

This post resonates with me because after a lifetime of having difficulties with my dad, we've worked out that he has Aspergers. I can tell you that my dad, being in his 70's and his condition pre-dating any kind of intervention, has never really had a proper existence or a real relationship with my sister and me.

See your GP.

Snatchoo Fri 18-Oct-13 22:13:08

I don't know about diagnoses, but DSS is being assessed and I am interested to know what tangible difference it makes to have one.

DSS is 'only' socially awkward, he doesn't display any of the other classic traits (that I read about on the website).

Hope you get some helpful advice soon!

CharityFunDay Fri 18-Oct-13 22:16:45

Your GP would have to refer you to a diagnostic specialist, and you will have to argue your case very strongly with him/her. Helps to make a list of your problems, or take along a filled-out ASD AQ/EQ questionnaire. Only the specialist can decide whether or not you have AS, and this diagnosis takes several hours and you need one of your parents present to give insight into your development as a child.

I was diagnosed by CLASS at the age of 35, so you've not left it too late.

All I'll say is that I coped better before I had a diagnosis than after. Receiving a definitive answer to my questions made me give up struggling in some senses. Whether that was a good or bad thing ... too early to say.

Good luck with whichever course of action you choose to pursue.

And yes, I second getting this thread moved from AIBU.

PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 22:19:03

What do I say if I go to the GP? Do I just go in there and say I think I have it, can I be referred somewhere? I guess my biggest worry is that I'll go in there, he'll disagree that I have it (especially as mentioned above I'm quite good at covering it up) and I won't get sent anywhere. That would just be humiliating.

JerseySpud Fri 18-Oct-13 22:19:21

Im very much the same as you OP and have always wondered.

I don't do well in social situations. DH jokes i am a total control freak because i can't cope with change. If something changes suddenly i get stressed and angry. I don't like being touched either. I've got used to it with DH and DD's but other people no. I can't take it at all.

I never know what to say and always feel like people see me as a silly little girl (at 28) and that no one really wants to be anywhere near me.

I also have an extremely bad habit of just saying what is n my head and not really seeing why people don't overly want to hear it. If you suspect OP go to your GP and speak to them. I daren't.

JerseySpud Fri 18-Oct-13 22:19:51

And im obssesive. To the point of extreme.

moralimbecile Fri 18-Oct-13 22:20:34

I am currently awaiting an appointment to assessed for adhd. Not the same thing but it was easy to get a referral from my gp.

I stated clearly my symptoms and that I'd checked the criteria of WHO, NICE, and DSM, and that I tick most boxes. Still waiting for the consultant appointment, but it is very easy to be referred.

Hope this helps, and good luck smile

WestieMamma Fri 18-Oct-13 22:21:00

I was diagnosed in my 30s. Getting it confirmed was one of the best things to happen to me. I know that might sound weird but it's true. It's like all the unanswered questions of my entire life could finally be answered. It was also a release from trying to be 'normal' and permission to be the way I am. To be me. Although I still have massive difficulties, I have found peace since my diagnosis.

ceramicunicorn Fri 18-Oct-13 22:22:06

I'm tempted

bump6 Fri 18-Oct-13 22:22:17

Gold mantra, how did your dd cover her symptoms?
I knew a girl years ago who I thought had aspergers, she behave so differently outside school to how she did in school.. I have often wondered how she did it.

PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 22:22:56

Is it really necessary to have one of your parents there? I can't really see them agreeing to come along. They'd probably think I was just being silly and tell me they would know whether I had it or not. They're the kind of people who just disregard this kind of thing. It's happened several times before when it comes to anything medical - just brushed me off and told me not to be silly.

ceramicunicorn Fri 18-Oct-13 22:23:19

I'm tempted to try and get a diagnosis. Did you have any kind of counselling/ treatment Westie?

defineme Fri 18-Oct-13 22:25:47

I think if you are assessed (I know Professor Baron Cohen's team diagnoses adults) then having a name for what you have always felt will be a positive. If you do have an asd then there are support groups, books, and all manner of many things that could make you feel less isolated and understand yourself more than you do now.
The NAS website has an asd test on it I think.
For what it's worth you do seem to have a lot of the traits that my asd ds has too.
I would highly recommend reading books by Wendy Lawson and Temple Grandin, women with asds that have achieved remarkable things and helped many people.

sewingandcakes Fri 18-Oct-13 22:26:58

Hi Pepsi, I was interested to read your post. I've recently been wondering the same thing about myself; I've always felt different, really struggled with eye contact, painfully shy with most people, except those I know well, and spent most of my time reading or drawing in preference to being around people.

I'm in the process of having my 8 year old son assessed for behaviours that I think are explained by Aspergers, and in reading about it, I recognised it in myself. I'm not sure whether to take it any further, so can't offer much advice other than letting you know that you're not alone!


PepsiBubbles Fri 18-Oct-13 22:27:23

If I get a diagnosis, I think I'd be the same as WestieMamma

I think it would be a relief more than anything and would explain so much. I've spent most of my life trying to change and always end up failing so if I knew there was a reason for it it would take the pressure off constantly trying to change and justify myself.

WestieMamma Fri 18-Oct-13 22:27:51

I didn't involve either parent in the diagnosis process. I could answer the questions about my childhood well enough myself. If they can't ascertain the relevant childhood information, it doesn't mean you can't be diagnosed. It just means you are more likely to get a diagnosis of PDD-NOS (pervasive development disorder - not otherwise specified) which basically means 'on the autistic spectrum but not enough information to decide whether HFA or AS'.

IHaveA Fri 18-Oct-13 22:31:26

Being a bit 'odd' is perfectly normal especially in my house grin I think it's OK unless you think it's making you unhappy.
If it is making you unhappy do you think a diagnoses one way or another would help?
Are there aspects of your personality that you don't like or that cause you problems?

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