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My mum has vascular problems I need advice and I need to know if I'm over reacting

(46 Posts)
Johnny5needsinput Sun 15-Sep-13 18:17:28

My mum has vascular problems.

She has problems with blood flow to her legs, heart and brain, I think. I'm not privy to all her personal goings on, but I think that's about where it's at.

She has had two episodes in the last week or so of losing the sight in her eye for about an hour, then it starts to return, and looks like a negative photo when it does

She has been told to go to A&E and won't go but says she will make a doctor's appointment tomorrow after I have nagged all day.

My need to know if I'm over reacting is that I think she shouldn't be driving? Should she?

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 22:32:22

Aw johnny. I'm so sorry. I hope she has good care and you can all be strong together for this

Johnny5needsinput Sun 22-Sep-13 20:36:45

Definitely a stroke. They did a brain scan.

News not good.

More tests etc to come. But she will be in for at least a week.

She thinks she will be out on Tuesday. No chance.

I am weepy and so so sad.

My dad is so strong.

Johnny5needsinput Sun 22-Sep-13 10:09:49

lol I know what you mean though - that's exactly it

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:55:39

Well...private as in not to family just a few hundred lurkers!

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:54:38

That sounds very like my mum. I think the dementia (slow onset) has decreased her own 'edit' or tempering system so that she is now irrational and intolerant at times and often rude with it. It's sometimes extremely difficult to like her. Every so often I find myself looking past the rude old lady to a smaller frightened vulnerable mum inside her

(I'm just having a little private muse off topic here a bit)

Johnny5needsinput Sun 22-Sep-13 09:39:59

Yes. She's like ... More now. It's like how she always was just turned up or something

TiredDog Sun 22-Sep-13 09:37:00

Aw. My dad is lovely with my mum although she is 'difficult'. Has your mum always been a 'strong character' like this? My mum has always been a little bossy but increasing vascular dementia is making it more so

digerd Sun 22-Sep-13 07:48:10

Your dad sounds lovely and obviously adores his feisty wifesmile. Hope he succeeds in stopping her from driving.

Johnny5needsinput Sun 22-Sep-13 07:27:17

I think she's totally in denial. Talked to dad last night and got tough with him too. He has still be letting her drive. And that had to stop. But she's the personality and he's the quiet one. So that's going to mean a step change in their relationship.

Although it was very sweet to see him kissing and hugging her when we were leaving.

TiredDog Sat 21-Sep-13 21:59:55

She's possibly frightened and in denial. sad

digerd Sat 21-Sep-13 21:34:54

Oh dear. I am in shock at your DM. A brain scan is definitely what she needs as she is not thinking or behaving normally. Or has she always been so irrational with her stubborness.?
You must be at your wits end with worry.sad

Johnny5needsinput Sat 21-Sep-13 20:57:56

Oh that's what I've just listened to for nearly two hours.

I have no doubt at all that she needs to be there.

Monday is D day in that she will see a consultant - until then they are just monitoring her. but she wouldn't be there if they didn't think she needed to be there.

But they have no idea what they're talking about hmm yes mother

TiredDog Sat 21-Sep-13 20:54:34

Is that a précis of what your mum is saying or how you feel

Monday should bring some clarity. Talk to the nurses. They will have seen strong willed independant older ladies before

Johnny5needsinput Sat 21-Sep-13 20:48:54

I'm just in. I could scream.

The doctors don't know what they are talking about.

There's nothing wrong with her.

She's just going to climb out the window (she's on the 2nd floor) and go home in her nightie.

She doesn't need to be there.

She's just going to tell them she's going home tomorrow.


Dad is very worried. It now transpires she's been getting this type of thing for months along with chest pain and told no one.

They did an ECG and that was clear but they want a brain scan and some consultant is to come from a bigger hospital on Monday to see her.

digerd Sat 21-Sep-13 20:24:11

Your mum is in the right place now. Good for your dad
My 83 year-old neighbour had her left Carotid artery cleaned out. She didn't have trouble with her eyes, but did have a mild stroke which made her suddenly speak gobbledygook - her words. An ultrasound showed furring up which was affecting the blood flow to her brain.

Hope your DM is not too scared or fed up being in hospital.


TiredDog Sat 21-Sep-13 18:35:14

I'm sorry. I hope this means that she is fast tracked into the right care pathway

Johnny5needsinput Sat 21-Sep-13 17:26:12

She's had another episode and dad took her in. She's to stay in for a few days.

Don't know anything more - just waiting for DD to come back from a friend's and we will go up and visit this evening.

TiredDog Wed 18-Sep-13 20:47:55

Transient Ischaemic Attack

It's a loss of blood flow to a part of the brain - usually a quick recovery but a warning sign that she is at risk of another. Carotid scan is needed and she should be seen quickly. If she has another episode take her to hospital straight away

Sorry if I sound alarmist. TIAs are very recoverable but they should act as early warnings smile

Johnny5needsinput Wed 18-Sep-13 20:45:12

She's seen the gp yesterday. Apptmt awaiting at hospital but they thnk she has had a mini stroke?

digerd Mon 16-Sep-13 10:29:14

Has your mum seen GP this morning or at least got an appt.?

harverina Mon 16-Sep-13 09:29:16

Not over reacting not bit!

harverina Mon 16-Sep-13 09:28:46

My fil has vascular problems which he was first alerted to when he had a popping sensation in one eye and loss of sight for a while. He went to his optician not thinking it was serious and was immediately referred to a specialist who told him that he was at a very high risk of stroke. So, no, your bit over reacting. If it happened when she was driving she would be putting herself and others at risk. Best to err on the side of caution for now.

As an aside fil has had 3 bypasses now - 2 on his neck and 1 in his leg and he is doing well. He is 75.

mineofuselessinformation Mon 16-Sep-13 07:48:34

Johnny5, my mother is also very stubborn when it comes to health issues. A very good line is ' do you want me to call them for you?' This is usually enough for my DM to sort the problem out as she knows I am also stubborn and WILL call if she doesn't.

digerd Mon 16-Sep-13 07:32:13

This " It's your age" is all too common. It began with me in my 50sconfused. I got really fed up with it. I know how your mum feels. < Although, I would never call my DD a Nazi, grin>

I may have open heart surgery in less than 5 years time and need to be looked after for several weeks, which I will HATE. DD just said, "Oh, wonder if I can get paid leave from work" with a smile hmm

Hope your mum makes and gets a GP appt today .

Bunbaker Mon 16-Sep-13 06:35:29

"I would encourage her to consider things rationally along the lines of keeping her independence by looking after her health"

That's what we do with MIL. She doesn't want to become a burden and we point out that if she doesn't look after her health she will do.

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