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I this the right ting to do? Re: suspecting dsd may start her periods soon.

(19 Posts)
Squirrel3 Sat 27-May-06 13:19:44

My dsd is 11, she is staying with us this weekend and she is so obviously hormonal, crying for no apparent reason one minute, being stroppy the next, struggling with her hair although washed is still greasy, spots. I've been thinking for some time that it will happen soon (I know she is young but she is 'showing all of the signs'). We know her mum has bought her some sanitary towels for at home 'just in case'.

I think that dsd would be really embarrassed if I was to have a talk with her about it and give her some, even more so if her Dad were to do it, so I have made up a sort of 'girlie gift pack' of lovely pampering things like Bath bombs, bubble bath, body spray etc and added some 'teen towels' (you know the short, narrow ones for younger girls). I've put them in a gift bag with a card just saying "I thought you needed pampering today so I bought you some things you might like and some things you might not need yet but they are there for when you do. Feel better soon, I'm here if you need me, Squirrel X".

Do you think that is ok, or would it be better to just talk to her?

nutcracker Sat 27-May-06 13:20:51

I think that is lovely.

foxinsocks Sat 27-May-06 13:21:57

I think that's lovely. I started mine at just 11 and was so embarrassed - my parents never spoke about these things sensibly to me!

nutcracker Sat 27-May-06 13:22:36

I was 11 too and would have really appreciated that.

FrannyandZooey Sat 27-May-06 13:23:57

Oh, lovely! What a thoughtful idea.

Twiglett Sat 27-May-06 13:24:37

I think that's really lovely

if you are on good terms with her mother can you run it by her just to check everything is covered regarding menstruation first

edam Sat 27-May-06 13:24:37

Depends what your relationship is like. But I think I would have been touched by my stepmum doing that for me - easier to deal with a note than have v. embarrassing conversation about periods. And creating a whole package of bath bombs and so on is lovely. Very thoughtful. Only thing is, you know how teenagers love to interpret everything as adults having a go at them... do you think she might possibly see body spray as you saying she smells? Might be worth taking that one out - unless it's the kind of thing she buys already.

Twiglett Sat 27-May-06 13:25:22

have you put chocolate in the hamper?

chocolate verrry important for pre-menstrual

sallystrawberry Sat 27-May-06 13:32:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squirrel3 Sat 27-May-06 13:33:10

I think her Mum will be ok with it as she has bought some for her ready at home. My dd had bought her some body spray for Christmas and she loved it so I don't think she will think that I am saying she smells.

Thank you for your replies, I didn't know if it would be better to talk to her about them but I can just 'see her cringing with embarrassment'. I spoke to my own daughter beforehand and did the same thing with a gift bag but it is different when the child is your step-daughter not your 'own'.

WishICouldGiveUpWork Sat 27-May-06 14:38:06

Oh I wish my Step-Mothe rhad been like you.
What a lovely gesture Squirrel

Marne Sat 27-May-06 14:43:33

I think thats lovely,

I have a 13 year old dss who came over a few weeks ago smelling of B.O so i got dh to give him some Lynx and say 'they were buy one get one free and i thought you might like one'
Dss was realy pleased with it

trinityrhino Sat 27-May-06 14:44:08

i think that is absolutely lovely, she'll know that she could talk to you if she wants to if you do that
and she'll feel very special and thought of if you do that

your making me well up...............for like the fiftieth time today
darn hormones

Squirrel3 Sun 28-May-06 06:08:11

Thank you for your lovely replies everyone.

I left the 'pack' on her bed, when she went upstairs I 've got to admit I felt a little bit nervous hoping that it was the right thing to do.

She was up there for ages, so I waited, pondering if I should go up to make sure she was ok, I'd convinced myself that I'd got it all wrong and I'd upset her "What if edam was right and she thinks I am telling her she smells?" all kinds of things were going through my head.

In the end I went up, she was sitting on the bed crying, my heart sank, she looked up at me and said "Thank you, thats so lovely and gave me a hug". <<<<Cue loads more tears, bless her, who would want to go back to the roller coaster of emotions you have at that age?>>>>

Squirrel3 Sun 28-May-06 06:19:24

I hope somebody does something lovely for all of you suffering from PMT today, here have these

anniebear Mon 29-May-06 12:57:35

Arrrh thats so lovely

edam Mon 29-May-06 13:00:30

Aw, that is lovely. Sorry for alarming you, was just worried about that one product because teenagers can delight in finding something to object to - forgot she's only 11!

Tommy Mon 29-May-06 13:00:55

thanks you squirrel - that's lovely
Like the fact that the chocs are non-calorie

BROWNY Mon 29-May-06 13:04:06

Squirrel, that was so very thoughtful of you - very clever of you to put a 'pampering gift' together for her. I was extremely embarrassed when I was her age (my mum just said, "there's a brown bag in the cupboard with some pad in, in case you might need them" - my poor mum didn't know how to talk about girlie stuff. So I've made sure I've talked to my girls from a very young age to ensure that it's a normal subject around the house. I've bought her some wonderful books from Amazon about puberty, period and growing up - they have excellent chapters on Mood Swings!! hth

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