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tell me about strokes :(

(83 Posts)
MrsShrek3 Mon 20-May-13 07:44:19

MIL found at the bottom of the stairs by BIL 6am this morning. she doesnt get up early so chances she has been there some time sad and golden hour well gone. DH gone to hosp (she has gone in ambulance obv) dh in bits and has only finished chemo in Jan sad so not very resilient. wtf do we do? what to expect?

MrsShrek3 Wed 29-May-13 11:30:54

city, your post about your wonderful dm is beautiful. MIL also said the same about FIL -like he's never gone as we all carried on talking about him (he died in July last yr) . Grandma will be hugely missed by all of us as she has been a huge part of the children's lives, as are my parents. Can't really believe it.

DH got home around 1am, after she'd gone. he seems amazingly chilled. not talking much but so so calm. he spent 12hrs just sitting with her yesterday, we will never know how that went but just hope that it was positive for both of them.

frostyfingers Wed 29-May-13 13:55:43

I'm so sorry, it's a terrible time for you all. Perhaps DH feels calm because he's had some quiet time with his Mum and said what he wanted to say and is a little more at peace with himself. Having said that he may just be too stunned at the moment to do anything else - I hope that he and you can all grieve and remember MIL in good times and bad. She may be gone physically, but she won't be forgotten.

Thinking of you.

archfiend Wed 29-May-13 19:28:28

I'm glad that at least they had some quiet time together. I think that things can become so overwhelming that when there is time to sit and just 'be', then there is no place for anger as such. (God I sound like such an old hippy, I'm not I promise!).

Will be keeping you in my thoughts. I hope that you can all remember and share the positive memories as I am sure they outweigh anything else. x

Andro Wed 29-May-13 22:30:11

Mrs S, it sounds like you've all had the ear from hell! As a partner there is so little you can really do when your OH experiences such a devastating loss, all you can really do be there.

When my DSiL died my DH was almost eerily calm...for months. His emotions didn't come to a head until almost 6 months later, he shattered on her birthday. If there was a positive to be taken from that it's that I had worked through the most acute phase of my own grief (DSiL was one of my closest friends for many years) and was mentally in a better place to help DH pick up the pieces. It may be that your DH will do likewise.

Keeping your family in my thoughts and offering a shoulder if you need it flowers

QuintessentialOldDear Wed 29-May-13 22:34:20

sad So sorry to see your recent updates. So sorry for your loss, and your dhs loss. What a terrible year you have had!

Courage and love.

MrsShrek3 Wed 29-May-13 23:44:20

thanks all thanks
I do wonder about calm before storm with dh. FIL died, 2 wks later dh dx with cancer, 6mths chemo, all ok for a couple of months whilst he recovers from chemo then this. Life sucks. How much can he take? Even I have no clue and it's fair to say I know him best.

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 30-May-13 06:43:44

I'm sorry to hear she died MrsS but I'm glad she went peacefully and that your DH was with her.

It may well be calm before the storm as he tries to process what's happened. In terms of coping, I remember when my Mum died people said I was coping well but I was just trying to function because its all you can do. Is he off work?

Jestrin Thu 30-May-13 07:30:19


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