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tell me about strokes :(

(83 Posts)
MrsShrek3 Mon 20-May-13 07:44:19

MIL found at the bottom of the stairs by BIL 6am this morning. she doesnt get up early so chances she has been there some time sad and golden hour well gone. DH gone to hosp (she has gone in ambulance obv) dh in bits and has only finished chemo in Jan sad so not very resilient. wtf do we do? what to expect?

Turningupsidedown Sun 26-May-13 14:05:49

How are things going? Hand still firmly held for as long as you need smile

MrsShrek3 Sun 26-May-13 18:11:47

a bit rubbish tbh. more surgery today on bowel - they've taken another bit out and done an ileostomy. blood pressure very low and back on ventilator.
sorry if it is all a bit muddled. cant think straight. she had surgery last night too was discovered that the blood supply to her bowel had been blocked and therefore some of it was dead and probably burst causing peritonitis. Before that she was sitting in the chair and writing notes to dh. Looked quite promising. then thissad

Turningupsidedown Sun 26-May-13 19:20:59

Oh MrsS sad so so sorry, really hope the latest surgery gets on top of it. You must be exhausted. You must feel very muddled with so much happening in such a short time. Don't feel pressured to update, but I am listening if it helps. You are very much in my thoughts, more hugs sent. flowers

MrsShrek3 Sun 26-May-13 19:42:01

blimey yurning you have enough going on too sad

MrsShrek3 Sun 26-May-13 19:42:30

yurning = Turning +typo blush

Yurningupsidedown Mon 27-May-13 01:30:43

Don't worry, I got called Turnip recently! grin

MrsShrek3 Mon 27-May-13 09:25:55

pmsl at namechange.... stoppitgrin

frostyfingers Mon 27-May-13 10:33:09

Obviously there's more going on than "just" a stroke, and that makes it all so much more complicated. However my experience with stroke (my mum had a massive bleed 5 years ago at 70, we were told to prepare for the worst and that if she survived she would be completely incapable) - left me with this: the brain is so hugely complicated that there is no one size fits all diagnosis possible, the experts can not and do not know exactly what will happen and how it will affect someone, each case is so very specific. They give you the best information they can, but don't accept it as gospel. My mum fought and fought and came home able to look after herself after 3 months intensive in patient rehab - she wasn't allowed to drive again - but she did manage on her own, shopping, cooking, washing etc absolutely fine.

There's no denying it's hard work for everyone involved, physically and emotionally but it can work out right. Fingers and toes crossed for some better news for you all.

MrsShrek3 Tue 28-May-13 14:10:33

switching her life support off now. DH staying with her until she is gone sad sad

mummylin2495 Tue 28-May-13 14:17:34

So sorry to see this sad news. Awful for everyone in the family especially your dh x

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 28-May-13 14:26:15

Oh I'm so sorry sad praying for you all.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Tue 28-May-13 14:37:38

I'm so sorry MrsShrek3sad

Wshing you and your family all the best x

Sometimes life seems very cruel and relentless....

frostyfingers Tue 28-May-13 16:05:18

Such sad news, so sorry to hear it.

Turningupsidedown Tue 28-May-13 16:46:45

So, so sorry to see this sad sad Thinking of you all.

MrsShrek3 Tue 28-May-13 18:25:38

24hrs changes everything doesn't it sad

SomeBear Tue 28-May-13 18:28:11

I am so sorry to hear this. Life is so cruel sometimes, sending you my best wishes.

TheDeadlyDonkey Tue 28-May-13 18:32:37

I'm so sorry MrsS sad

TallGiraffe Tue 28-May-13 18:46:44

I'm so sorry to read this. Thinking of you and your family this evening flowers

NotAQueef Tue 28-May-13 18:55:15

I am so sorry to read this. sad
Thinking of you and your family tonight x

MrsShrek3 Tue 28-May-13 19:30:59

DH is still sitting with her. she is still being ventilated and some sedation but nothing else. blood pressure ridiculously low but she's hanging on. He is staying with her smile


archfiend Tue 28-May-13 19:58:16

Oh no MrsS, I'm so very sorry to read your latest updates. sad. She has clearly fought incredibly hard but sometimes it's just not enough. Will be thinking of you all this evening. x

MrsShrek3 Tue 28-May-13 20:00:21

Arch, thank you for all your amazing support over the last week. You've been incredible thanks

Pandemoniaa Tue 28-May-13 20:03:36

Oh, Mrs Shrek, I am so, so, sorry to hear this. Will be thinking of you all. xx

archfiend Tue 28-May-13 20:17:31

You're very sweet blush! Honestly, I am just glad it has helped a little. I wasn't on MN when DH had his stroke, and I know how much it would have helped to know about anyone else dealing with all this stuff.


CityTiliDie Wed 29-May-13 07:05:35

MrsS Big Hugs.

I had similar with my DM 6 years ago. She had a different type of stroke and was never given any hope so we had five weeks to sit and watch her die slowly but peacefully. It was almost a nice way to go and we knew she was 'hapy' about it as it was something we had talked about as a family in the past. She had already palnned her 'leaving do' (wouldnt have a funeral as they are morbid and dull).

When it cam to the end my DSis and DF sat with her for 36 hours but she refused to go so they both left to go home and freshen up. 10 minutes after they had left the hospital she died.

Your DC are a credit to you and will cope far better than you can hope for and probably far better than you or your DH.

Its a really tough time for you but you will all get through it and time will help. Remember to never stop talking about your DMil and dont stop talking to her either. i talk to my DM every day and it helps me a lot. I was lucky that 9 months after she passed away my DD was born and she is the image of my DM in every way so I feel my DM will always be with me.

Keep strong for your DH, allow him to talk and cry and shout and you will both be stronger for it.

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