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Practical things to help someone near the end

(9 Posts)
McBalls Sun 19-May-13 01:41:55

I remember swing a thread a while back in active convos, someone asking what to take for a loved one who is dying. Just tried to search but can't find it.
Not allowed to take flowers, nil by mouth, can't think of anything else.
It doesn't really matter, don't think he wants anything but maybe there's something I'm not thinking of? I'll see if he wants my iPod but he'll probably say he's not listening to my shite music! Will ask nurses tomorrow if I can take a nice comfy blanket and pillow.
If anyone can find the other thread that'd be great too.

gingeroots Sun 19-May-13 10:02:53

Oh I'm so sorry McBalls

I have no experience of this so guessing but maybe some gentle cream to stroke on to his hands ,so that he has that sensation that you're holding his hand .

If his mouth isn't sore maybe some water with a little fresh lime or lemon juice to swab his mouth with - in hospitals they have little sponges on sticks to keep people's mouths moist if they can't drink .

Or ice chips in a thermos flask to suck ?

A flannel to damp and put on his forehead ?

Hope there are others with more advice to offer .

Showtime Sun 19-May-13 16:01:20

Are you allowed to take in plants? Friend sent me a multi-flowering arrangement which was so fresh and beautiful, everyone came to see it, and the slight scent really helped with "hospital smell".
Best thing is just to be there of course - be strong.

secretscwirrels Sun 19-May-13 16:28:04

My dad enjoyed listening to his favourite radio programme which I put on a podcast for him on the ipod. (I still have it on there 3 years later).
The nil by mouth was very difficult, ginger's suggestions are good.

McBalls Mon 20-May-13 18:16:22

Thanks all. Some lovely ideas smile

sandripples Mon 20-May-13 20:26:08

Possibly a photo of himself when healthy - eg on a nice outing with you.

cheeseandchive Tue 21-May-13 20:41:09

Ahh McBalls, hope you are getting some support too.

Perhaps a newspaper or favourite book, you could read it out loud if he'd like?
Photographs of your home/family to flick through together?
Maybe a momento or figurine/picture from his home to make it feel a bit more homely?

Will add some more if I think of them. All the best to you.

eyestightshut Tue 21-May-13 21:04:29

I would be thinking of things that are sensual - so aromatherapy oils or room sprays, some pillows of blankets to snuggle up in, music to listen to and perhaps some pictures of loved ones or meaningful places. The most important thing is yourself and your time which will be appreciated most of all.

Lilypad34 Thu 23-May-13 12:33:58

You could blend these, 4 drops of Frankincense oil with 2 drops lavender oil to a tablespoon of coconut oil.

Massage it into his hands (if the skin is unbroken) this will help with breathing, calm the mind both yours and his. Aid pain relief and bring about a sense of peace for you both. Frankincense is also a great reliever of grief and shock.

I hope you are being supported and I think it is lovely you have thought of him in this way.


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