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GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole
There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there.
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
>From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick their balls in there,
And see how they come out!!
OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer Awareness... Go have
those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends, --- and even your enemies.
Because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!!
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery..Today is a gift.. That's why it's called the present!
Live and savor every moment...This is not a dress rehearsal!
I didn't mean to offend, i just saw this and hoped that it would maybe amuse someone and help ease any nerves if they were having a mammogram, and also put forward the important message that WE HAVE TO CHECK OUR NORKS.
yes please tell us about how to get a mammogram. I try and check and have lots of lumps but they seem to be the same on both sides so presume they are normal? would love a check to confirm this but don't know how to go about this. am 33