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Inspiration, please, on living in the present....

(6 Posts)
papercliphoarder Tue 26-Mar-13 11:19:40

I've name-changed for this one.

I'm undergoing investigations for a possible/probable chronic, degenerative condition and oscillating between fear, sadness and an odd feeling of acceptance which I didn't know I was capable of under such circumstances.

I know that there are plenty of people out there (including some amazing MNers) who face these types of challenges with incredible positivity and fortitude, and I'm pretty determined to join their ranks despite my terror and dark moods. I have a history of anxiety/depression, so am worried that I could easily return to the "dark side" in the face of this, and feel scared when I start noticing my mood sliding. But I also know that as I've got older (mid-30s), I've been able to get a type of more distanced perspective which is at least partially (only momentarily on some days, but still...).

I don't know what I'm asking of you lovely people, really. Just wanted to feel less alone with the battle. These are the things I find helpful, but would love it if people could help with their own perspectives which they find useful.

1) All anyone ever has is now. Regrets for the past, fear for the future, etc., are all just mental constructions and they can be allowed to pass. I'm not religious (though some days I dearly wish I were), and don't believe it's likely there's anything to look forward to after dying, so might as well concentrate on whatever's going on now.

2) Over the course of history, and all over the world today, people have had to deal with disability, death, loss, massive hardship.... I'm doing my best to try to let go of the unreasonable expectations I'd created for life - actually, there ARE no guarantees that these things won't happen. Why NOT me?

3) Painful as it may be, the above also applies to my children (who are at increased risk of the condition too).

4) There's ALWAYS something to be thankful for. For instrance, people can be so kind, and so generally brilliant.

5) There's almost always a way to try and laugh about things.

6) Crying is fine.

7) In 100 years we'll all be dead anyway! grin

Sorry for the long post!
Thanks for reading

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 26-Mar-13 15:31:11

Don't jump the gun, see if you definitely have this disease you're being tested for, before adjusting your life.

IF you have it, find out if there is a national support group, and better still a local branch, for advice, fellow sufferers.

Having just used the word 'sufferer' don't let this disease define you, IF you have it. You are you, and you MAY have this condition, and okay it may ultimately be limiting, and there's a chance your DCs may in turn have it. HOWEVER you are not totally powerless, you can choose how you deal with this, immediately close down, venture into yourself, shrink your world, OR you can while you're still well enough do things, go places, make plans. You can allow yourself certain indulgences whilst still being there for your loved ones and contributing to their happiness.

Live for now as much as you can.

With best wishes thanks

Teachercreature Tue 26-Mar-13 15:33:32

Heart goes out to you! How about a CBT counsellor for support? They can be brilliant with teaching ways to face such horrors. Wish you the very very best of luck x

papercliphoarder Thu 28-Mar-13 10:30:42

Thank you both - really appreciate your posts.

Struggling a bit today, but such is life.

Thanks for taking the time to read and message

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 28-Mar-13 12:14:58

I know you n/c but do come back to post if you feel low and/or get the diagnosis you feared, take care.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 28-Mar-13 12:35:39

Have PM'd you.

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