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Any medically qualified/knowledgab
le people out there who can advise me on tremors...
"I would probably emphasise the possibility of getting it treated, and the fact that although she is living with it fine at the moment, there may be moments in the future when she wants to do something that the tremor could stop her from doing".
"Also sometimes people can get the wrong idea about you if you're very shaky, and think you are nervous when you're not, so it's nice, again, to have the option to minimise it when you want to make a particular impression."
Both these angles might work! DD is a bit inclined to become negative under pressure,doesn't drive at the moment,and doesn't want to learn having been convinced by school safety campaigns that too much can go wrong... I am working on that too,via the "important life skill even if you aren't keen now" route (poor DD - but she doesn't want to leave home either,one guaranteed way of getting me off her back !!)
Thank you for taking the time to reply - I was hoping there would be someone out there with some experience to help clear my mind on it all!
Yes, it's a tricky one.
I would probably emphasise the possibility of getting it treated, and the fact that although she is living with it fine at the moment, there may be moments in the future when she wants to do something that the tremor could stop her from doing.
Does she drive? I would have struggled to do that without beta blockers. The stress of uni can often make it worse, too. Mine is worsened by stuff like lack of sleep, nerves, hangovers, too much coffee - stuff that makes normal people shake but it makes me shake a ridiculous amount. It's not much fun to be struggling to write an essay against the clock and be slowed down by being too shaky to type fast, or be about to go off for a night out and unable to get your number into the cash machine
because you haven't recovered from your hangover from the night before.
If she is likely to go off to uni next year you could emphasise that she is likely to encounter some of these situations and it would be good to have all the medical stuff sorted before she goes. Also sometimes people can get the wrong idea about you if you're very shaky, and think you are nervous when you're not, so it's nice, again, to have the option to minimise it when you want to make a particular impression.
I was told by one particularly lovely neurologist that it is fine to medicate as and when you need it if you are just using beta blockers for tremor, so it's not an all or nothing thing: having been prescribed them you are under no obligation to take them.
I'm not saying she must get them so much as that you might be able to use that as a way to get her to the doc without frightening her.
Thank you,Tunip - that is really helpful.Your 3rd paragraph is pretty much what I was thinking,but I was reluctant to push her too much,partly because I'm worried if I emphasise the "it could be something that needs treatment" aspect too much she will go into meltdown...but still not go to the doctor.
I'll have to think about the best way to approach this!
I am not medically qualified but I have essential tremor and have had for a long time; it started in my teens.
And yes, she should see someone. It is most likely just 'essential' tremor like mine (ie it's just there, no particular reason) but tremor can also be a symptom for various bad things so it ought to be checked out. On the plus side, essential tremor can be controlled effectively with beta blockers. If that is what she's got, I would personally advise her to give them a go and see if she prefers life without her tremor. She may decide she'd rather live with the tremor than bother to take the pills, but at least that way she will have the option.
Given how long she's had it, I think there's a very good chance it's just essential tremor and I don't think you or she ought to be worried, but I do think it would be very silly not to get it investigated, because if it was something bad, it could be something degenerative whose progress could be halted with treatment, rather than letting it get bad.
Going to see the neurologist is among the least traumatic of hospital appointments, btw - it's the sort of 'asking questions, getting you to hold up one finger and touch your nose' type investigation rather than anything unpleasant.
And sometimes, if you shake noticeably, other people get worried about you, so it's nice for you to be able to say to them 'Oh, I've had it checked out, it's fine, just essential tremor' rather than let them go on worrying about you.
I don't want a diagnosis,but I'd like to know how much/if I should nag DD to see a doctor - she is 18,so I can't just make her go any more.The issue is that she shakes,she has always had tremor in her hands,and this is noted on an OT assessment when she was still at primary school,but it was never noticable at home (she says she got "why are you shaking" comments at school though).
Now she has quite a noticable tremor in one leg and foot,which I notice if we are sitting watching telly.
She should see someone,shouldn't she? Or should she? She thinks I am fussing over nothing and it is just how she is (which might be true),also she is a worrier herself and I don't want to cause panic...
Any advice gratefully received!
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