Long-term hormonal contraception - want to start again!

[MulledWineOnTheBusLady]

I've been on some form of combined pill for fourteen years ever since I was 19. In that time I've also been on ant-depressants, stopped them some years ago.

The cumulative results (possibly) of all this are a shot libido (boo), no noticeable depression any more (hooray) but lots of anxiety (boo), weight I can't shift (boo) and periods that are virtually non-existent (should be hooray but actually freaks me out a bit). I don't have moodswings exactly but I have days where I'm completely useless and inactive, which I've always put down to the depression, but I'm quite clearly not depressed any more so maybe it's the pill.

I don't really know which way is up any more. I don't know what state I would "naturally" be in if it hadn't been for the hormonal stuff. I'm wondering about stopping the pill, using condoms for the time being, and letting my body reset to factory settings, as it were, before I decide what to do next re contraception. Just wondering if anyone's done it really, or anyone had similar collection of symptoms after a long period on combined pill?

[StuckInTheFensAwayFromHome]

Hi, I was pretty much on the pill constantly from 18 to about 30. I was heartily fed up with popping the pills and did wonder about what its long term impact would be and also that I felt I was out of touch with normal monthly rythyms. Also I was starting to get vision migraines so the doctors started chopping and changing which pill I was on and I was getting more and more grumpy about the whole thing. I even had a spell on the Depo injection but that was a horrible 6 months of my life. I ended up deciding for myself that my body was telling me to stop - so I did. (I tried a coil but to add to the problems I have an odd shaped cervix and they couldn't even fit one at the specialist clinic. Even said I needed to wait another 6 months to a year for all the remnants of the injection to leave my system so my cervix should return to normal shape)
In that time we had to use diff methods - predominantly it was a type of withdrawal where we finished off outside! (yes I know the dangers!) and gradually my cycle started to establish and I started to understand it. By the time the year was up I found I had a non hormonal method that was working for me and I didn't particularly want to stick a foreign body into me, with who knows what side effects to that.
For me it felt exactly like what you said - a factory reset to normal female cycle, and I had this feeling that my body was telling me to stop messing it around. Since then have moved on in the relationship and it meant I felt my body was already in the 'right mode' for getting pregnant!

[MulledWineOnTheBusLady]

Oh that sounds like exactly what I want to happen! I feel a bit daft for minding about having virtually no periods, because I know some people really suffer with them and would give a lot not to have them at all - but it makes me feel like you said, out of touch with my body.

I'm a bit freaked out by copper coils, condoms aren't much fun and everything else is hormonal. So it would be really great if I could establish a calendar method or something. And yes, while we're definitely not ttc it's true getting pregnant would not be the disaster it was at 19. So thanks very much for your post.