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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.(960 Posts)
First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.
Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.
Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.
There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.
<lays out tea tray, buffet and alcoholic bar>
I feel a bit of a fraud sneaking on here as my problems are no where near as bad as other- but I was wondering if you have any advice/reassurance?
DS is 9 months- long labour (induction) but a quick vontouse birth as his heart rate plummeted and then stitched up in a hurry as I was haemorrhaging (without pain relief- wince ) fairly long 2nd degree tear.
Anyway it still hurts- specifically excruciating when having sex (not much of that!) and then occasional twinges/aches. It feels really weird too- all um out of line and wonky on one side as if a bit of the inside was left on the outside.
Went to the doctors last week who were very dismissive and basically said that it's only been 9 months and that things would settle down- but it's starting to get me down, I dread having sex and it's putting a strain on our relationship (from me- DH very understanding).
No problems with continence especially- if I need to go I need to go if you know what I mean, but otherwise fine.
Apologies to all the ladies who have real problems, but it's not the sort of thing you can really ask people in real life!
Pfft, your problem sounds pretty real to me!! Sounds even worse than what I went through. Mine wasn't sewn up straight so I ended up with a skin tag which got in the way during sex and using tampons (mooncup totally impossible), sounds like something similar happened to you- at least I got a local though, ouch
The skin tag was very easily removed, I wrote about my op a few posts back. They didn't bother doing much with my perineum in the end, just a tiny bit I think.
I would see a different GP if you can, I deliberately booked in with a female GP who I knew had children and she was very supportive.
Hi Raggedyanny, you are definitely not a fraud. All of us are here because of childbirth injuries which are affecting our lives in some way, whether that's physical, mental, or both. Not being able to enjoy a sexual relationship due to a physical problem comes under that. Yes 9 months isn't long but is long enough to have given it time for your body to return to pretty much what its going to be. Definitely get another GP to have a look (preferably a woman as they seem to be more understanding but not essential) and ask to be referred to gynaecology. Your injuries sound similar to mine. Things just don't feel right, and my lovely GP agrees.
I was supposed to see a second gynae consultant 2 weeks ago but the clinic I was supposed to attend was cancelled and I wasn't told and the consultant now only works from a different hospital. I've been chasing them every other day for a new appointment but am still being told it hasn't been rebooked yet <even more moticon> Argh! I'm at the point where I'm thinking of cancelling everything and just getting pregnant again as I desperately want another baby without a massive age gap between baby no 2 and my first DS and I'll deal with any incontinence
with tena lady and pain issues once I'm done having babies. Ok, rant over now.
Glad you have found us, but as Jacksmania often says to new people here, its a shame you needed to.
It isn't something people like to talk about in real life, which is what makes this so helpful. We understand exactly what its like. I too feel its putting a strain on my relationship with my DH as I don't find sex enjoyable (putting it mildly) anymore.
Another one here to hold anyone's hand who needs it.
Would I be ridiculous to go to gp and ask about anti diarrhoea drugs?
I just had a bad episode and can't face the idea if this happening at work
Of course it wouldn't be ridiculous - that's a really good idea and in fact I meant to come back and suggest it, I'm sorry I didn't.
Had a nasty bout with either norovirus or food poisoning Sat night after DS's party - didn't get out of bed at all Sunday, both ends at the same time, and believe me, I wasn't walking around with any confidence in my hinder end yesterday . Hideous.
Back at work today and feeling a bit shaky so probably shouldn't be here, but ho hum, what do you do.
<-- peppermint tea for me, what would anyone else like?
Yes please! Sorry about the norovirus, just what you dont want.
Just wanted to pop in to thank you girls for your support. I agree, it's an arse of a situation when you can't talk to anyone in real life. They seem to be bored hearing stories all the time
Yeah, either that or they look at you like and refuse to believe that things like this can actually happen.
We're a nice, if slightly ragged bunch
My friends at the pub have been delighted at me regaling them with stories of my fango. I've also talked to the guys in my band about it and they were
piss-taking bastards very supportive.
I wish it weren't so taboo to talk about child-birth related injuries, I thought for ages that I would just have to live with the way it was. I only found out on mumsnet that it could be fixed.
eugh noro is horrible! I find the post viral bit the worst - when the v&d has cleared up but you're wiped out from it for a bit - I found that eating extra healthy for a bit helped get things back to normal!
I worked up the courage to have a feel of the inside stiches last night in the bath (am scared of infection as refused preventative antibiotics because of BFing, so only feel when I'm sure I'm clean) - it wasn't good! But then for about an hour afterwards I was getting period like cramps which made me panic irrationally that feeling there had somehow got loads of water where it shoudln't be or something! It seems fine now.
I can't bear the thought of trying anything.. you know.. larger than a finger in there - so how do the gynae's look? presumably they need to use some sort of speculum - which I just can't even contemplate - I don't think I could let something like that near me.. probably ever again! catch 22 because if I don't it won't ever get fixed right? (if it comes to that)
episiotomies always sounded so small and neat to me - ha ha! I had no idea! <that was a bitter laugh>
Jacks, hope you are starting to feel human again. Its horrible. More for you and rest as much as you can.
Smellysocks I hate to say it but yes a gynae will need to use a speculum. And they will have a good old poke about and ask you where it hurts
bloody everywhere and where it doesn't. BUT they should use a numbing gel thing beforehand, to make it not as bad. I wont lie, its unpleasant and afterwards you will feel like someone has kicked you but a couple of paracetamol and a bottle glass of wine (I had my last appointment after 4pm so it was wine time when I got home). It was also good that I took my DH with me for the appointment as it was the first time he really understood just how uncomfortable and unpleasant things can be at times.
Also, the main thing to remember is TIME. You will hear this a lot but time is a good healer, every week and then month that passes things get slightly better/more bearable.
I had an overdue smear test done at the colposcopy unit 16 weeks after giving birth and I was in tears, more with the fear of the position I was in, which was almost identical as I was in when delivering (I had PTSD and PND kicking in around the same time). The ladies there were very very understanding and held my hand, made me a cuppa afterwards and made sure I was ok before going home. However, I coped and the actual physical discomfort was alright. You did hypnobirthing so you could use some of the same relaxation or breathing techniques. And just tell them beforehand your concerns or worries, they will not laugh at you or make you feel silly.
Bit of a long post. Struggling a bit these days so it helps to write stuff down and if it helps anyone in a similar position then great. And thanks for reading.
<runs for the hills clutching crotch but is grateful for the info>
I wasn't exactly pleased about having my bits prodded after the MWs spent much of my labour yanking my cervix around like one of those modelling balloons. If you're that nervous you could ask your GP to prescribe you something.
I was a bit naughty, I had some diazepam left over from the last flight I had so I took one of those. At my gynae consultant appointment I swear they must have asked me 10 times if I was on any medication. I think they could tell But it really helped to take the edge off, especially after the colposcopist I saw that was the polar opposite of the nice one that cravingcake had.
Well, I saw the Nicest GP In The World today, who prescribed me stuff that will hopefully prevent me traumatising myself and all I work with.
On downside she really pushed to discuss with my obstetrician. I know they're going to want me to book an elcs now.
I've caught a sore throat and am a little sniffy today. Apparently, it's dangerous for them to operate on someone who is unwell like this because it can lead to chest infection...? Sigh. hope I get my surgery because I really don't want to wait more.
And, while we're on the subject of speculums that reminds me I will be pricked and poked before the OP! Sorry tmi, but I've had runny yellow discharge for about ten weeks now. Argh!
LOL okay I somehow managed to post my shopping list here (I normally write in my phones text pad and copy and paste) and I don't know how to delete!
Are they not meant to operate if you've got a cold? They didn't tell me that either. I had a stinker. Mind you, it might be better to delay, it's no bloody fun sneezing when someone's just rearranged your fanjo.
We're in norovirus hell here, just wanted to pop in briefly to say no ops when you have a cold as you don't breathe as deeply or cough as effectively so can't clear your lungs well, hence the risk of chest infections.
EauRouge, your posts make me laugh
Back to a puking household.
Oh nightmare, I hope you feel better soon Glad my posts are cheering you up!
So, no vaseline and no colds before an op- and they never told me either! I reckon they were trying to do me in, you know.
Just wanted to say Shine the fact you have posted your shopping list as well really did make me smile. Some days its the small thigs.
Also, i've made a metal note of no colds or vaseline before any operations. I had a GA quite a few years ago and didnt recover very well from it, must have been the vaseline or lip balm i'd used beforehand .
Had my surgery today under GA to remove infected scar tissue. Everyone was really nice. OP was at 8am and woke up at 9.15am in Recovery. Was in pain so nurse pumped pain relief into the back of my hand. She told me the doctor inserted a "pack" inside me. I didn't understand what this was for at was too drowsy at this point to question further. I was in the Day Ward after this in my cubicle where I slept for a bit. At 3pm the nurse came to remove my "vaginal pack". I asked what it was for and she mentioned a hole and to keep infection out of it...what hole?! Did they create one in me?? Have you girls ever heard of this?
Well, anyway, I asked if it would hurt and she said I'd feel some pulling. She started to pull and oh my gosh, it hurt SO BAD! She pulled for what seemed like two whole minutes and what felt like thick barbed wire! I screamed, cried, begged her to stop. She even said herself that there was more in there than necessary. Anyway, she gave me morphine for pain relief, which helped. But as a result I'm now bleeding and going to the toilet is ever so painful! I'm afraid that I might now still have local anaesthetic in me and that's why it's not so painful but what if it's worse tomorrow when the effect of the drugs wears off? Scared. Am scared of the internal pain while weeing and scared the wound might hurt too.
Anyway, in bed now. Thought I'd update you all. Xxx
Oh shine, yuck, that sounds awful!!! I'm so sorry. Have some and a (((((((*HUG*))))))). Did you ask anyone about what the nurse meant by "hole"? One thought I had was that sometimes they don't like to stitch closed an area that was infected, but rather prefer to let it heal from the bottom up (it's called healing by secondary intention and what happens is that granulation tissue fills in the operation site. It's in case they don't get all the infected tissue. Even a tiny bit of it left behind in a stitched-closed round can cause an abscess - last thing you want!!
Have you got any pain relief at home? Did they give you anything, or a prescription?
Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow isn't as bad as you fear.
Did you ever hear that trick of weeing in the shower, or pouring water over your perineum while weeing to dilute the stinginess of urine?
Good luck! Will check in tomorrow. xxJM
I looked around on Google and apparently the pack they use is something to prevent excess vaginal blood. I don't quite understand because why would my vagina bleed when they're fixing my perineum? I hope it doesn't hurt in the toilet today. It's one thing having to put up with a sore perineum but totally something else having a sore urethra! I hope I don't have an abcess. You're right-that's the last thing I need. I have my pain meds and antibiotic. Hopefully, they'll help. Please continue holding my hand
shine, sorry you had so much pain, I really hope you feel better soon. Have you got some lactulose or something just in case? Definitely wee in the shower or bath if you're worried about it stinging. (((hug)))
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