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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

(961 Posts)
Jacksmania Fri 26-Oct-12 19:08:26

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

<lays out tea tray, buffet and alcoholic bar>

All welcome.

CuppaTea83 Fri 22-Mar-13 18:22:29

Hello Jacksmania smile

Do you know what will happen at my GP appointment? Will he do an internal examination or will I be referred to somebody else?

It's a shame there isn't much UK info online or by the NHS. It's mostly American sites. I did read that it's rare in developed countries. hmm

My youngest DDs birth 3 years ago ended with a Doctor rather roughly rummaging around deep inside trying to pull out bits of ragged membranes. Is it strange to end up with this problem occurring so long after the birth?

cravingcake Sat 23-Mar-13 06:59:39

Hi Cuppa, i cant answer most of your questions but i would imagine the gp will have to do an internal examination to get a good idea of where the problem is. They will then probably (depending on what they find) refer you to the gynae department of your local hospital.

I may require some hand holding for the next few days, i am going on Tuesday to have my skin tag removed. I know its not much in the big scheme of things but it will be under a local anesthetic and i'm nervous about it. Cant wait for the bloody thing to be gone though, its so painful some days.

Coffee1Sugar Sat 23-Mar-13 12:12:37

sad hi all hope everyones ok. Im feeling glum, been told I have vaginismus. It's been 34 months since dd was born and 31 months since my repair and yet I've never managed "proper" sex (ie lasting log enough for him to finish) and only withstanded him inside me briefly a handful of times. I'm having CBT and psychosexual therapy but I'm just so fed up. Having my mirena out on Wednesday as I long for a dc2 but I can't ever see it physically happening sad

Jacksmania Sat 23-Mar-13 21:34:53

Sounds like we're all having a crap week.

Coffee - I'm so sorry to hear that. Vaginismus is pretty horrible, I hear. No advice but here's some wine and flowers and a hand to hold.

Hand to craving, too. You hold mine, I'll hold yours - I'm having that sebaceous cyst out on Weds.

CuppaTea - I'm not exactly sure what the UK procedure would be. I imagine your GP would want to do an exam - if I were a GP, I certainly would - before referring you, but I don't know. Good luck - and do update!

wine all around, I think. Or brew.

cravingcake Sun 24-Mar-13 11:26:08

<takes Jacks hand and gives it a squeeze>

CuppaTea83 Sun 24-Mar-13 13:00:54

Thanks craving and jacks It's sort of comforting to know there are lot more people suffering with the same/similar issues.
Hope you're all okay.

I'll definitely have a brew

cardamomginger Sun 24-Mar-13 14:43:05

Hi All,
Staying with the PILS for 2 weeks and am grabbing a quick 5 minutes in FIL's office to hand hold and offer wine, brew and flowers to all who need it.
Jacks - good luck for Wednesday. Will be thinking of you.
Coffee - that sucks so much sad. Have you seen a gynae physio? Could trigger point therapy help?
Craving good luck - will be thinking of you!
Cuppatea - hi. sad Yes, GP is a good first step. And, yes, be prepared to be insistent and press for a referral.
As for me, I still have a sodding infection - week 2 of the antibiotics still doesn't seem to have shifted it. Have emailed my surgeon and will wait to see what he says.
Bugger. My Father has just turned up. I now have NO Privacy! Need to disappear and stop writing about my vagina grin.

WhodveThought Mon 25-Mar-13 06:33:54

Bad day.

My toddler and I both had an accident at the same time today. I had to chose who to sort out first (chose her). So exhausting and upsetting.

And I just saw a comment in the prolapse thread about the surgery I need to have, and how it can wreck sex (further than all this already has) and even make bowel control worse.


cardamomginger Mon 25-Mar-13 10:43:06

Hi Whod've. So sorry about the accidents. That's grim and awful sad. DD and I always managed to take turns.
Try not to panic about what was written on the other thread. I've read what was written and the figures given seem very very high, and unusually so. I've posted my thoughts there.
It's always a good idea to ask your surgeon tough questions about side effects and to find out not just the general overall statistics, but his/her rates of side effects and how your own presentation and symptoms will impact on the chances of side effects.

Jacksmania Mon 25-Mar-13 17:03:38

Whodvethought ((((((((*HUGS*))))))))))

I've found that I've needed to step back from Dr. Google and lots of the "messed-up insides" threads and info because it's not good for my mental health. Everyone's different, and surgical outcomes differ from person to person. Statistics lie.
Don't let what was written on the thread (have not read it) freak you out.

Jacksmania Tue 26-Mar-13 15:56:23

Interesting article on vulvodynia. Worth a read.

cravingcake Tue 26-Mar-13 17:37:20

Well as far as i can tell tag removal has gone ok. Thank you for te hand holding, definitely needed it. Was rather unpleasant being in almost identical position to when i gave birth, had a lot of tears throughout and memories coming back. But its all done now and hopefully will make a big difference to day to day life. In a bit of pain now anesthetic has worn off (and i'm too scared to look at the stitches) so just have to keep area clean, avoid infection etc etc. all going well should be back to normal in 2 weeks.

Jacks, good luck tomorrow <offers another squeeze of hand>

Hope everyone elses week is improving.

EauRouge Tue 26-Mar-13 19:57:49

Oh, I've missed so many messages sad I'll try and catch up if I can talk DD2 into going to bed.

So glad it went OK for you, craving, it must have been so nerve-wracking having it done under local. You were brave and deserve a wine All the best for a very speedy recovery. I found the pain went after only a few days and that paracetomol worked just fine. I also put tea tree oil and lavender oil (a drop of each) on the maternity pads I was using, I don't know if that helped at all.

Jacksmania Tue 26-Mar-13 20:44:40

Yes yes yes to tea tree oil and lavender. Good idea. Both are antiseptic, will help heal things. I'm so glad it went ok, craving.

thing1andthing2 Thu 28-Mar-13 14:12:09

Hello all and well done those of you have bravely gone through ops since I last checked in. I hope you are recovering well.
I went to see the gp today and she suggested vaginal dilators and has prescribed me some local anaesthetic gel to use during sex and has also referred me back to the physio. She also suggested massaging any scar tissue with my thumb and some oil. I guess I am just going to have to face up to it and get on with it!
DH said not to spend money on dilators but buy a vibrator instead so we can actually have some fun further down the line! Bless him. I am considering the idea. Has anyone used dilators? How did you get on with them?
Other than that I am feeling more cheerful and it is nice to take back a bit of control over the situation.

Jacksmania Thu 28-Mar-13 14:26:07

I never used dilators. I think it's in the first or second thread but my lovely surgeon said not to bother, just buy a bunch of carrots and condoms grin
Seriously grin
It livened up the thread considerably grin

But I agree with her and your DH. Don't waste the money.

Had that cyst removed from my back yesterday. I'm so sore!!!!!!!!! I asked the plastic surgeon how big the incision would be and he said 4-5 cm shock. He showed me the excised piece - bleurgh - no wonder my back hurts. But he was super-fast and actually a very funny man.
I had wine yesterday to back up the paracetamol and I've had so little wine lately that I need more paracetamol this morning for my head blush.

How's everyone?

cravingcake Thu 28-Mar-13 16:42:27

Jacks glad it went ok. I too have been having wine for medicinal purposes each evening since. wine cheers!

That's interesting about the dilators, it was suggested to me to use them but I wasn't too sure about it and thought I'd wait for a while. I have to say that I can just imagine the look on the check-out girls face when buying just a big bag of carrots and a box of 'ribbed for her pleasure' grin. This has really made me chuckle today.

I'm recovering ok, still quite sore and got tea tree oil today so have been putting a couple of drops on a pad each time I change it. Am worried about infection so will definitely be having a salt bath over the weekend. For now its ibuprofen and paracetamol and wine routinely.

thing1andthing2 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:03:20

Wow jacks 4-5cm is a lot! I had a mole removed on my back once and it was only 1-2 cm and I thought that was a lot.
Lots of sympathy craving re the stinginess, I well remember that a few months back <wince>
I might well go the carrot/vibrator route after your advice! How funny!

thing1andthing2 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:05:20

Ps still can't properly join you on the wine. Ds at 9 months still loves breast feeding as much as ever [big fat cheeks emoticon for a little bloater].

Jacksmania Thu 28-Mar-13 20:27:08

I know, it did feel like rather a lot to me, too. Ouch.

Is it terrible that I breasfed my little porker for ages but had wine anyway? blush not while feeding of course

Jacksmania Tue 09-Apr-13 15:50:03

We've gone very quiet, haven't we? How is everyone?

<leaves out tea trolley with freshly baked birthday cake>

thing1andthing2 Tue 09-Apr-13 19:22:35

Yum cake!
Well, I've seen a consultant, not my surgeon, who appears to be off on disciplinary issues hmm.
He said everything was as healed as its going to be and to go with the massage/dilators recommended by the gp.
I got some wheat germ oil (good for scars) and had a rummage. I think the issue is some areas are pulled rounded tighter than others, causing slight ridges which are less stretchy than surrounding areas. The surgery has pulled a bulk together at the back to make a good bulk of muscle to prevent the prolapse and now some bits at the side are pulled too tightly round if you see what I mean. So nothing can be done there except stretching it out. So... I've got to do it daily for three months.
Good luck to me hmm.
On the upside, DH and I actually had sex! Hurray for some progress!

cravingcake Thu 11-Apr-13 14:21:07

<takes some day old cake and washes it down with big mug of tea - thanks>

We have all gone quiet, maybe that's a good sign that things are just plodding along ok?

thing1 that's great you are making progress.

I'm feeling so much better, its unbelievable just how much a tiny thing can affect your day to day life. Now the horrible painful skin tag has gone and the stitches have healed its a big change to how I feel mentally about myself. I knew it was affecting me but didn't realise just how much.

<tops up supplies on the tea trolley and adds some left-over Easter chocolate> grin

Jacksmania Fri 12-Apr-13 19:58:16

grin I'm going to resurrect the term "pervwatch" from the first or second thread when those of us who'd had our ops were venturing back into sexual territory - congratulations on your pervwatch experience, thing1.
Craving, I'm so glad you're feeling better smile

I had a shitty week last week, had several very unpleasant encounters with unpleasant people... fortunately it didn't spoil my birthday (this Tuesday just past) and the rest of the week was much better.
I'm heading to Vancouver Island for a MN mini-meet-up tomorrow. Just for the day, which will make it a long day (1.5 hour ferry ride both ways) but I'm really looking forward to it.

cravingcake Fri 12-Apr-13 21:51:02

Ooh, pervwatch. Very good term, i have to add i've managed to venture back into the scary world that is sex. Not brilliant but so much better. I think so much of it for me is mental now. I still have all my painful scars but i guess its the mental change for me that has made things much more bearable, enjoyable would be too strong just yet but theres hope. Time, paitience and understanding is what it takes and thankfully my DH has that.

Not good that you have had a crapppy week Jacks but good you have something to look forward to. Belated Happy birthday from the Craving household.

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