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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.

(961 Posts)
Jacksmania Fri 26-Oct-12 19:08:26

First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.

Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.

Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.

There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.

<lays out tea tray, buffet and alcoholic bar>

All welcome.

FrillyMummy Tue 26-Feb-13 11:28:44

Hi! I've just been directed to this thread. I don't suppose you could help? I am on my phone so can't copy my post, but here is the link if you could take a look? I'm getting desperate sad

FrillyMummy Tue 26-Feb-13 11:29:18

Forgot to post the bloody link - exhausted!!

Sparklingbrook Tue 26-Feb-13 11:33:01

Here is Frillys thread. I hope someone can help. x

cravingcake Tue 26-Feb-13 12:36:15

Hi Frilly I've just read your other post and yes there is help available.

Ask to see another GP or if you feel ok, ask the original GP to refer you to a gynaecologist consultant. They will be able to have a good look and let you what they can do, which may be what I've been offered which is a perennial refashion.

Do you know what degree tear you had? Where I live its standard procedure for any woman who had 3rd or 4th degree to be seen by gynae consultant about 3 months after the birth.

Jacksmania Tue 26-Feb-13 15:13:27

Hi Frilly, definitely go back to your GP and ask for a gynaecologist referral. There are lots of options - lots of us have had perineal repair and refashion. There is no way that you should be having pain during sex, that needs to be sorted. Make an app't with the GP and we'll all
Hold your hand.

FrillyMummy Tue 26-Feb-13 15:45:14

Thanks Jacks and Craving. My tear was only second degree. I say 'only' but it was freaking awful! Do you think they'd do a perineal repair on a second degree? What is the procedure like? I'm scared that it would take forever to recover like after Lyla was born hmm

EauRouge Tue 26-Feb-13 16:02:55

I only had a second degree tear too, it was a funny shape though and they cocked up the stitches. It wasn't life threatening but it was uncomfortable having sex and even using tampons and it was also affecting me psychologically.

My GP was very sympathetic- I deliberately booked in to see a woman who had children- and referred me right away. Even though I went private in the end (didn't like the NHS consultant), it would have only taken me a few months to get fixed on the NHS.

The GP told me that there's a clinic at the hospital that deals solely with post-childbirth fanjo repairs because it's such a common issue. Don't feel like you're being fussy, demanding a designer vagina or any of that stuff- this happens a lot and it can be fixed! Can you see a different GP? The one you saw doesn't sound very sympathetic- was it a bloke?

Recovery was waaaaaaay easier than childbirth. I was only in pain for a couple of days, walking around normally after about a week and was back running 2 miles within 3 weeks. It depends on the surgery you have done but I found mine much easier than recovering from childbirth because you don't also have to look after a newborn, have massive, swollen boobs etc. I managed with a few days off and then back to looking after a 4 yo and almost 2 yo.

Good luck with getting a referral, I hope you manage to get it sorted out smile

FrillyMummy Thu 28-Feb-13 09:23:18

Well, I've got an appointment to see the Dr at 4pm this afternoon. Fingers crossed she will take me seriously. She is a gynaecologist too so I would have thought she would have been a bit more understanding the first time. I think I will just be totally honest about how it is affecting my confidence and sex life and how down it's getting me. Fingers crossed for a referral!

Sparklingbrook Thu 28-Feb-13 09:28:58

Good luck Frilly. This should be the first step to getting the help and understanding and referral you want.

cravingcake Thu 28-Feb-13 09:30:30

Frilly, good luck for your appointment. I have my fingers crossed for you too.

EauRouge Thu 28-Feb-13 10:00:43

Good luck with the appointment. Yes, definitely be honest; abandon the stiff upper lip! Hope it goes well.

Jacksmania Thu 28-Feb-13 15:12:01

Good luck!!!!

cravingcake Thu 28-Feb-13 16:11:06

Every now and then we get a little bit of luck, there's been a cancellation and my appointment is now on 11th of March. smile

FrillyMummy Thu 28-Feb-13 16:35:39

Well. I went and she did refer me, but she clearly didn't think it was necessary. She said that it has healed fine and the NHS probably wouldn't do anything. She said the only reason she would refer me is because I said it was causing pain during sex, but she made it clear that she thought I was over reacting. I got home and cried because now I feel like I'm imagining it all. Maybe it's not such a big deal as I think? Urgh. Thanks for your well wishes though smile

shine85 Thu 28-Feb-13 16:53:23

Craving, I'm thrilled you got your appointment! Great news. smile

Frilly, that consultant sounds like a right cow! I hate doctors that make you feel like you're imagining it all and overreacting. It's such unfair behaviour. Hope everything goes well with the referral. I feel bad for you. Hugs.

I just got back from the doctor. She wouldn't tell me if the stitches had opened up or not, but said "there's the bit at the back that doesn't seem to be healing." That's the bit that's weeping. She took a swab and said don't wash with water after the toilet, which I had been doing. She said go knicker-less and urine falling on it is a good thing. <br />
She wouldn't give me antibiotics because in her words "we give them out but they're not that effective."<br /><br />
I'm also being tested for anaemia and diabetes.<br /><br />
I would've thought I'd heal this time. It's two weeks tomorrow since the op. I'm just fed up of it all and don't know what lies ahead. <br />
I'm seeing specialist on Tuesday, so we'll see.

Hold my hand, ladies.

cardamomginger Thu 28-Feb-13 16:54:59

So sorry she was horrid to you. sad angry. The important thing is that you have the referral. It's not for her to decide whether and what anything will be done. And just because she is (a) female and (b) had a special interest in gynae means bugger all. She's not a specialist - if she was she would be working as one and not as a GP. For what it's worth, in my long journey towards diagnosis and surgical treatment, the GP at my practice who was the least sympathetic and the most obstructive was the gynae one.
Ignore her. I know it's hard. You know how your body feels. And you know what feels wrong. Any doctor worth their salt should know that. Please don't allow her to discourage you and don't let her make you feel you have to be apologetic.

cravingcake Thu 28-Feb-13 17:16:01

Frilly try to focus on the positive, you have your referral to a gynae consultant which is great news. Don't let that stop you from having a good old cry as it is emotional and unpleasant having an examination and talking about very personal things with someone you only know for 10 minutes. Maybe try between now and your appointment try keeping a diary or daily note of when you are sore, what makes things uncomfortable and for how long and try to work out exactly where (is it internal, external, scar tissue? etc) hurts. Doesn't need to be lots of detail but it may help you when you see the gynae to be able to tell them. I have a horrible skin tag and my episiotomy scar actually everything really get very sore and achy in the week or so leading up to my period.

Shine hand holding in your direction for Tuesday!

EauRouge Thu 28-Feb-13 18:44:39

Frilly Sorry your GP was such a bellend. I'm sure the consultant will be more sympathetic and listen to you more! Cardamom is right, you know your body. It's all very well for the GP to say that it's healed well but she can't feel what you feel, can she? Eejit woman (her, not you).

Shine Sorry to hear you're still not healed up sad Fingers crossed that the specialist will be able to sort you out.

FrillyMummy Thu 28-Feb-13 19:14:32

Thank you all SO much smile You are very kind and so right. The thing that is toughest is that it makes it hard to be intimate with DH. He frets that he is hurting me and I can't get into it because of the stinging! Also (tmi), I now find that lube stings like buggery. It's awful and it only stings where I tore. Has anyone else found that?

I know I'm new, but I'll hold your hand too, Shine! smile

choppet Thu 28-Feb-13 21:24:56

Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself, hope I am doing this in the right place! I am based in Ireland and saw someone recommend this site as I cannot find anything on Irish forums where I could identify with others...

My story (v brief version!) is that I had my little boy just over a year ago. I had a 41 hour labour culminating in a forceps delivery with an episiotomy. I suffered a 4th degree tear, aswell as a massive post partum haemmorhage causing me to lose 4 litres of blood in less than a minute. I was immediately taken to theatre where I was operated on with a team of 15 for 4 hours. I didnt get to see my baby even for a fleeting second and didnt get to meet him for 2 days as after surgery I was transferred to ICU. I suffered further complications in theatre and went into anaphylactic shock as I had an allergic reaction to blood products I was given...
The treatment I received in hospital post natally was appalling, at one point (3 days after all of this) being told to 'get out of bed and feed your baby'. I have been told very little from the hospital apart from that I had 'catastrophic'injuries and they did not expect me to pull through. I did pull through but have had a nightmare the past year. I have not had any incontinence problems but I basically closed over down below following the repair (to the extent that they couldnt examine me at all) and I underwent further surgery in October to open it up again. I didnt know this was possible to happen and neither did the doctors caring for me...
there is more to story but I am too tired to type it all now but just wanted to join the group. I tried sex for first time last weekend and ripped my scar tissue a bit. It was extremely painful. My Consultant has prescribed instilagel....has anyone used this to help with painful sex? thanks for reading xxx

FrillyMummy Thu 28-Feb-13 21:34:48

Hi Choppet. Wow. You have had a really tough time of it shock You poor thing. I'm so sorry that the hospital staff were so awful. I am v new to this thread, but I am certain that the others will be able to help - they are lovely. Is the dr saying that the gel is the only option?

cardamomginger Thu 28-Feb-13 22:41:43

Hi choppet. Bloody hell, love sad. A gynae once used instillagel when she manually broke my scar tissue. I didn't feel a thing! I think it is fab stuff and I use it for pain relief after surgery squirted it on a maternity pad. Your DH might need to wear a condom though - the lidocaine might have a bit of a dterimental effect on him....
If the pain is also a case of tough scar tissue, ultrasound might help to soften it a bit.

choppet Thu 28-Feb-13 22:45:56

Hi FrillyMummy,

Thanks for reply. I probably should have mentioned that I now attend a different hospital to where I had my son. My new Consultant said that she feels a further surgery wont be required and that with time the scar tissue will stretch with sex and that in the mean time I can use the gel to numb where I am sore...
She wants me to focus on getting psychologically strong first...She has referred me to a specialist counsellor which is fantastic because up til now I have no counselling. There is nothing available publicly here, only if you pay privately at 75 euro an hour, i did try a few sessions with that but it was just a regular counsellor not someone trained in birth trauma...consultant said to focus on getting emotionally strong first as I have found this past year extremely difficult.
How are you getting on? I am only getting through reading through everyones stories....

cravingcake Fri 01-Mar-13 07:15:19

Choppet I cant believe you haven't had any counselling. What happened to you sounds absolutely horrible. I had PTSD and PND and had counselling for both and cant recommend it enough. Although I realise it will cost you (I had it on the NHS) it would be really worth while.

Does your hospital offer a chance for you to go through the notes of what happened? Being able to read through at your own pace and when you feel able to can really help you process it in your mind.

Sorry I don't have any experience of gel. But am another one here who will hold your hand if you need it.

EauRouge Fri 01-Mar-13 08:54:01

Choppet, I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you sad Counselling with someone that specialises in birth trauma might really help you out. I'm having counselling and it's really helped me even after only a few sessions.

I don't know how the system works over there, can you get insurance? Do any counsellors work on a sliding scale like they do here?

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