I feel as though I have started a chain of events that I want to stop. I have a dd who is 3 I started to become depressed when she was 13 months and was diagnosed with depression a year ago. At that point I attended a PND group and was and still am on medication. I had to stop attending the PND group as I started a pt job, the group brought me to a place that I had never been before, I realised that I had been a product of a narcissistic family esp a mother with narcissistic traits- it was like a light going on and answered a lifetime of questions. I have now taken the positive step of emotionally withdrawing from my Mum but maintain civil contact so that DD can have a relationship with her. During this time my HV was working with me and suggested I could be supported by an outreach worker, working on parenting skills. I accepted this help and was visited at home by the woman who would work with me plus a senior social worker. The meeting left me feeling very vulnerable, I was cross examined, I felt under scrutiny for things I hadn't done and was asked leading questions. I do not want to carry on with this help, it is inappropriate and counter productive- I am disgusted by their treatment to be honest. I see a life coach who helps me work on strategies for strengthening my resolve re my mother and ways of developing myself in my new identity, she also helps me look at any thoughts that make me anxious, we locate them often in my past and look at new ways of thinking...I am learning to identify and manage my anxiety . I am 80% better than I was and am getting stronger every day, I would never, ever, ever harm my daughter i love her more than anything. I want to continue getting better but not under the auspices of social work- how can I stop their intervention. I think the support is voluntary.
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