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how the heck do I support DH tomorrow if the consultant tells him he has cancer?

(690 Posts)
MrsShrek3 Mon 23-Jul-12 22:57:20

sigh. just that. DH has Big lump in neck. Various doctors, registrars and pathologists looking very worried and saying he "should have been told more". Appointment with his own consultant tomorrow afternoon. Worried sick, but wtf do I do to help him? He doesn't want me to go with him, he;d rather I keep the children with me.

limitedperiodonly Tue 24-Jul-12 07:37:39

Good luck. northernlurker has some brilliant advice.

Losingitall Tue 24-Jul-12 07:38:19

You are in my thoughts today. My Mum didn't want me to go with her, I waited at home with a 1 week old baby, and knew as soon as she got out of the car it was bad news.


IMO it's not about what you say love, it's about what you do. You'll have to take your read from him. He might want space, he might want reassurance, he might want a hug, he might want to take it out on you.


It might be nothing at all!! My son had a lump in his neck, it was a viral thing, took about 2 years to disappear.


lisad123 Tue 24-Jul-12 07:43:09

Pm me if you like op, my brain is mush and dont want to put you by asking if you are who I think you are.
I hope it goes well today, and that the news is good. A fair few of us are supporting dh though cancer and such so know where you are. It's been three and half years here and somedays are easier than others but just remember you will have questions too and don't be afraid to ask them.

LauraSmurf Tue 24-Jul-12 07:43:39

Good luck today, thoughts prayers and good sunny thoughts to you all.

FWIW I had a similar incident with my mum many years ago with potential liver cancer. They even did MRI saw dark patch on liver, checked whole family for transplant matches. Then found out it was a kidney infection and MRI shadow malfunction!

Not the same, but trying to say things might be better than imagined.

Foslady Tue 24-Jul-12 07:51:40

Just to let you know I'll be thinking of you both today - and be willing it to be good news for you ((weirdy t'internet hugs))

DaisySteiner Tue 24-Jul-12 07:54:01

I'll be thinking of you today too. xx

HairyToedHobbit Tue 24-Jul-12 07:54:29

Thinking of you both today xx

Mirage2012Olympics Tue 24-Jul-12 08:10:15

Thinking of you both and hoping it is good news for your DH.

pumpkinsweetie Tue 24-Jul-12 08:11:34

Thinking of you all, in such an awful situation.
I hope it is good news x

Twosugarsplease Tue 24-Jul-12 08:57:40

Watching this too, so so hope it turns out ok. My dp noticed a lump like a tangerine size in his neck a few months ago, he isn't one for the drs, but he was concerned, it doesn't seem to bother him, and I still think I should push him to go, he has never mentioned it since, but I am too scared its all bad. I won't even check myself incase I find a lump in breast etc.
This post has pushed me to bring the matter up again this evening. X

GwendolineMaryLacey Tue 24-Jul-12 08:58:58

Thinking of you xx

cocolepew Tue 24-Jul-12 11:14:50

Best of luck today.

Twosugars please make him go to the drs. It may not be anything, my dad had a massive lump and it turned out to be a cyst. But he still needed it removed.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Tue 24-Jul-12 11:22:50

thinking of you both today.

muddymooncupsatdawn Tue 24-Jul-12 11:34:58

Please go with him. Even if he doesn't want you to go into the consultants room with him.( The nurse will bring you in!)

I have been through the same with DH over the past 5 months.
DH had a tumor. We had to wait 6 weeks after his operation to find out if it was the big C or not. Not in DH case.(phew)
It's been a long road, but you will get through it.
I've found i'm stronger than i thought.

Hopefully, it's a cyst and treatment will remove it and you can carry on.
It does turn the world upside down.

I'll be thinking of you both today. (((hugs)))

ImperialBlether Tue 24-Jul-12 11:43:19

I'm thinking of you both now. I hope everything's okay. He sounds a really brave man. I think he's right in a way in that he needs to cope in his own way and if he has to deal with your reaction he won't be able to do that.

RubyGrace17 Tue 24-Jul-12 12:20:25

Thinking of you both.

everybodysang Tue 24-Jul-12 12:23:16

thinking of you, read this last night and have been thinking about you this morning. Hope it's better news than you fear.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Tue 24-Jul-12 12:30:02

thinking of you too

Northernlurker Tue 24-Jul-12 12:35:02

We're waiting with you and if it's not good news we'll support you.

mopbucket Tue 24-Jul-12 13:02:38

Fingers crossed for you xx

debka Tue 24-Jul-12 13:09:08

Thinking of you OP xxx

RichTeaAreCrap Tue 24-Jul-12 13:10:44

thinking of you OP x

HairyPotter Tue 24-Jul-12 13:13:02

Thinking of you both today. I know how utterly terrifying it is waiting for the diagnosis. We were 90% sure my dm had cancer but sitting in the corridor waiting to see the consultant was one of the worst moments in my life. A nurse popped out to say that they were 'just waiting on the Macmillan nurse to arrive' and there, in that moment we knew it was cancer. sad

I hope everything goes well today, I will keep you in my thoughts.

DreamingofSummer Tue 24-Jul-12 13:13:38

thinking of your both today - lots of cyber hugs

Dolallytats Tue 24-Jul-12 13:34:58

Thinking of you here too x

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