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Is there something wrong with me?

(22 Posts)
salt Wed 03-Dec-03 15:34:43

I can't concentrate on anything these days. I can't remember the last time I finished a book or even got further than the first chapter.

I can't remember the last time I got my teeth into a piece of work and did it properly and with some enthusiasm. I'm always tired. I read maybe a couple of paragraphs of 'whatever' and realise I can't even remember what I've just read. It's like I look at words but my mind is thinking about something else.

I get home and all I want to do is go to bed, I've started eating too much. I eat for the sake of eating. I've put on a stone and a half in roughly 4-6months. I'm never happy (nor am i sad), I just seem to live my life in a daze of tiredness and food... I can't remember the last time something made me really angry or sad or even happy. Nothing stays in my mind long enough, I take nothing in!

This has all developed over the last 6months max... to the point where I can't even find the energy to clean my house or do my ironing, I just think about doing it, think f*ck it and go to bed. How can I pull myself together?

Forestfly Wed 03-Dec-03 15:37:47

Ditto, apart from the laughing bit, i'm starting to think it must be that seasonal thing' lack of vitamin d or whatever. Has there been a change in your life that has brought it on, when did you start feeling like this, any change in circumstance?

salt Wed 03-Dec-03 15:42:57

Not really, Forestfly. Nothing like you've been/are going through. I wonder if it is the time of year, if I went to my GP I bet they'd say that and make me feel like it's in my imagination but it's not, it can't be... it's so frustrating. I hate my house been messy and it just makes me feel worse yet I still just look at it...

Forestfly Wed 03-Dec-03 15:50:52

Honestly i know what you mean! Do you feel like tidying a certain times of the month it could be a hormonal thing. I know i can't be bothered doing anything a week before my period. But when my periods stopped for a while i felt like that for months. Just an idea it could be a million things. Thyroid problem, or a vitamin deffeciancy. Perhaps your anaemic?

aloha Wed 03-Dec-03 15:59:51

Definitely go to see your GP. Get yourself tested for thyroid function, anaemia etc. Or you may be depressed. I hope you find and answer and get your joie de vivre back.

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:03:46

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:14

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:16

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:25

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:37

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:38

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:38

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:04:39

i had similar feelings last month, i was weaning my dd(8mths) off the breast and started my periods, so i think it was a hormonal thingy.
but since my dd's been born i do get days like that. i have only been able to read properly inthe last month - sometimes!!! i cant remember the last time i read or scanned a whole newspaper. have you had a baby this year, do you think you may have post natal depression? youhave all the signs of depression. whatever is up with you, its been going on too long. you need to go to your gp and speak to them about it. dont ignore your feelings, you dont need to feel like this and it can stop. i suffered from depression in my late teens and i just remember more than anything how mentally tiring it was. it drained me, i had panic attacks really bad etc... in the end, i decided something had to change so i wrote down everything that stressed me out or made me sad and i tried to chnage or alter as much as possible. i also start controlling my mind rather than letting it control me if that makes sense, for example. i would hesitate about going to the shop as i felt tired and anxious but i thought f*** it im not going to let this get to me so i would go. i would probably sweat profusely and have a panic attack but i learnt to control my breathing, themore i done it the less stressful it was. i know my story id slightly differnt to yours. but what is similar is that it is a mind thing! if youhave been to the doctor and you are physically well and not short of any vitamins or low in iron then you may well be suffering from depression. people are always ashamed to talk openly about depression, you should not be. you woul dbe surprised to hear how many people expericence it at one time or another. speak to your gp - you will be fine!

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 16:08:34

sorry something up with mumsnet or my pc - it crashed and when i logged back, my entry went in too many times... sorry

salt Wed 03-Dec-03 16:22:13

I've been tested for thyroid problems and glandular fever before but everything came back clean and they put it down to time of year then too, I felt like this a while ago (can't rememebr how long) but then it went again. GPs make me feel stupid and like I'm wasting their time. Maybe I should go, my work is suffering and I'm about to miss a uni deadline if I don't get my finger out. Never thought about been depressed, if you saw me in real life certainly no one would think I was depressed...

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 17:00:49

i know! my family and friends found it hard to accept i was depressed. no-one took me seriously until i had a really bad panic attack and went into hospital, i was 16 and the doctors sent me saying i was "stressed" - they just looked on it as teenage problems but it all came to a head again when i coul dnot physically got to college, i would have get so worked up and anxious on the way there that i woul dturn anround and go home crying! i could not explain my feelings and neither could doctors etc. i think becausei did not treat my depression at the beginning it turned into panic attacks... i still cant think why it all happended to me, i really do think its a chemical imbalance, its a physical problem which causes mental problems. i cam fine now, like i said you can get rid of these tiring feelings - but you really need to give yourself a massive kick up your arse because at the end of the day no-one is able to help you until you stand up and ask for it! my mother just coul dnot understand how i felt, she thought it was a "phase" - but it was an illness, just like some days you feel physically sick we re are also capable of sometimes feeling mentally sick. but with you, its been a while now so you should really try and help yourself, it cant be nice feeling so de-motivated. is your uni work getting you down? too much to do? why dont you speak to your tutors and explain that you feel like its all too much, they may extend the deadlines and then you can re-organise yourself etc...

MammyShirl Wed 03-Dec-03 17:07:16

by the way you are not wasting gp's time if they make you feel like that then ask to see the nurse instead or you can ring nhs direct 0845 46 47 and they can give you a whole list of help lines or organisations to advise you.

gp's are always quick to offer anti depressants, i did not take this route as i thought it was only a temporary solution. but if your depression is serious than i guess a temporary solution is better than nothing. i am not sure how ill you are but it may be that youhave just let everything get on top of you, prioritise your life and get rid of any stresses you really dont need, have a big clear out and do things that make you happy or do one new thing a month - change always helps!

fio2 Wed 03-Dec-03 18:08:14

can you just go into the doctors and ask for thyroid function tests or do you to have loads of eveidence to suggest it?

salt I feel like you too.

tinyfeet Wed 03-Dec-03 18:53:21

Are you pregnant?

salt Thu 04-Dec-03 08:49:01

I'm definitely not pregnant!

Uni work isn't to bad, it's a full time course and I work full time. I don't feel I can ask for extensions as it's linked to my work and I get good marks within the deadlines too. I also feel like I have a huge point to prove... single mum, works full time, studies full time, keeps a perfect home and has balance between everything and does it all perfectly too...

Maybe it's as simple as that, maybe I'm just trying to do to much?!

I've had abusive relationships in the past but they never bring me down, I feel that if I hadn't been through what I have I wouldn't be the person I am today (IYKWIM) and I like me.

MammyShirl Thu 04-Dec-03 13:56:19

bloody hell! you are trying to be super woman and you are succeeding but is it worthit if it makes you feel like this! you probably are doing too much. i work two days a week, i dont study (dont even get to read papers) my partner is great and helps out with everything and even i find it hard some days so you really must find it hard. you sound like a very stong, determined and motivated person but you dont have to prove that to anyone. would it really matter if you extended deadlines for work to be handed in?, if the hoovering was not done as often, or you asked for help off someone... it wouldnt at all and no-one would judge you. you make me look like a lazy winger, if i was half as self-motivated as you... anyway, i think you have the answer to your problem. how old is you child/ren?

salt Thu 04-Dec-03 14:24:39

dd is 18months.

My mum did my house work for me last week (bless her) but only because she's the sort of person who's house is truly immaculate (I would just like mine to be). She sort of looks round in disgust when she comes to mine and then says "How about I pop round next week and do a bit of cleaning"... My house is clean (btw) just not AS clean as hers!

Did pick up a brilliant tip form here once though about cleaning the bathroom whilst kids are in the bath - fantastic. Shame bathroom is only spotless place in house!!!!

It's possibly that, I worry a lot because I don't seem people often enough, I've always got someone I'm thinking "must meet up with <person>" I always am behind with someone/thing!

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