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Can someone just talk to me please?

(12 Posts)
TheOriginalFAB Tue 27-Sep-11 19:56:30

I have a thread about bullying and the stress of both my boys being hurt this week and worrying about tomorrow has brought on an asthma attack. My inhaler hasn't helped and I can't remember if I can do it again. I can't take much more of this and just don't want to fight any more. Too much.

Happymuppet Tue 27-Sep-11 21:01:32

My son was about 7 yrs old when he was constantly bullied/tormented by a boy at the same school. The child bit my son on (separate occasions) his finger,back,shoulder, face making each bruise or bleed. This was always in afterschool club. I complained each time to the staff saying that it wasnt acceptable. They told me each time that they was watching the said child and monitoring his every move but was still in the afterschool club. I got a call one afternoon telling me that my son had had a bad accident with a child at school. I raced to the school to find my son sitting on a chair with a face so swollen that he couldnt see out of his eye. He was so brave bless his little soul, but we both burst into tears when we saw each other. I literally flipped my lid when the school told me that the same child had run over to my son who was on a climbing frame at the time, he grabbed his legs and flipped him off. My son fell face down into a wooden large stepping up box that the children had pushed under the frame to use to climb onto. My son had smashed his face on the way down. I feared that he had either a broken nose or cheekbone. He was rushed to hospital. He had no breaks but horrendous swellings to his face so badly that the brusing went down his whole face. I went to the school the next day with my x husb (my sons father) who was incidently a health and safety insp! He inspected the site, we questioned the schools lack of control with the incident and threatened to sue for negligence, they admitted liablitly of neglect in writing. They asked what we wanted to be done to put faith into the school. Amongst the list of suggestions...the child was removed from the afterschool club and the same class as my son. He was monitored with a teacher at all times inc playtimes he was not allowed near my son at all. He wasnt allowed to run round unless he had an adult with him. Yes this was harsh but so was the damage to my sons face. Since then my son had developed a 'tick'/twitch to his eye (the specialist said was a nervous thing)Something he had not developed untill this accident. He has since moved to his new school as he is now 10 yrs old. BUT i suggest that you remain strong and speak with the teachers, tell them that it is not acceptable for them to not be held responsible at any stage and that bullying at any stage will not be tollerated, otherwise you dont know what is next! Dont let it get to this stage. Good Luck get your children to speak to you ask them how you can help them. x

TheOriginalFAB Tue 27-Sep-11 21:11:52

Oh my God that sounds awful for all of you sad. Is your son okay now?

I just have had enough.

I am so unhappy living here.

I am dreading the drop off tomorrow as I expect the kids will have told their parents who is being bullied and as I have no friends at the school, I will be glared at.

Meeting ds's other teacher tomorrow and not looking forward to that as I have no faith in her.

I am still having trouble breathing and just don't know what to do with myself.

Knackeredmother Tue 27-Sep-11 21:13:17

999 now if you can't breathe.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 27-Sep-11 21:21:00

I am not that bad and hope that now I have come to bed I will be okay, thanks.

Happymuppet Tue 27-Sep-11 21:25:17

Look you have to be stronger than your kids here! They are the ones being bullied right? Take the bastards by the horns and get it sorted out. Surely there must be a School council that you can report and negligence too. I threatened my school with Neglect & Negligence and told them that if they didnt respond to our complaints that we would have no option but to go to the Police and get them to investigate! The school soon shot into action but at the price of my sons face being mashed. Yes he is fine now as it was a few yrs ago now but he still has either the twitch/tick or if its not that its a nervous cough (all of which have been investiagated) and are down to nerves...which started at the lower school and this incident. But please be strong..tell them you wont take it lying down that they have to be responsible for Bullying as the children doing it.

suebfg Tue 27-Sep-11 21:30:13

I'd be honest about what you want to achieve. Ask yourself if you want your boys to stay at this school or would you be happier moving them elsewhere? Life's too short for you and your sons to be unhappy. I know it's not fair - the bullies should be the ones being excluded - but you need to deal with the issue, either with the school or without the school.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 27-Sep-11 22:11:32

We have phoned the police. The bullies parents have only been told today. This has been going on for months. I think if he is hurt again we will have no option but to take him out but there isn't any other decent schools around and we would have to go privately. We can't afford to pay for 3 so feel we are stuck but I can't leave him there any more and now my little one has been punched and kicked today I just feel crap.

suebfg Wed 28-Sep-11 09:42:39

I hope you feel better now that you've taken some positive action. You might see if there are any bursaries available at the private schools. Another alternative might be to move house and have a fresh start.

TheOriginalFAB Wed 28-Sep-11 09:51:22

Moving isn't an option as we have to make our choice in about 10 days so we would have to move right out of the area which would be difficult with DH's job.

My PIL would help us with the school fees but I will mention to DH about a bursary as we wouldn't have any idea if we would get any help. We definitely can't afford private school for 3.

zara206y Wed 28-Sep-11 14:16:03

I personally would take my son out of school and move him! Never mind about it being difficult for work etc..my son would always come first, as you never know how they suffer in the long term. I did tell my school that if they took no action i would have no chioce but to remove my son report them etc (see my other posts -was happymuppet). Or lets just see if issues are resolved as they should be now things have kicked up. thanks

TheOriginalFAB Wed 28-Sep-11 16:56:41

My son comes first as well but without a job we wouldn't have any money to feed him so how would that help? I have seen his teacher and deputy head today and told the teacher I didn't believe her so no doubt I will be bollocked later for that.

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