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contraception misery

(24 Posts)
reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 13:10:21

Any ideas? [hopeful] as I think I'm out of options (seriously considering abstinence shock ).
-have tried a multitude of pills and all disagree with me. When I stopped taking the pill my body went crazy getting my hormones back to normal with terrible dizziness/nausea/headaches for MONTHS every day. I swore I would NEVER have hormones again after my bad reactions - my body does not like hormones - I had a terrible pg with them too, so any hormones are out of the question
-I'm allergic to latex so can't use normal condoms, even the latex free ones irritate my skin for some unknown reason shock
-currently have a coil in which will probably have to be taken out soon as it's disagreeing with my ibs and causing me awful almost daily cramps and meaning I can barely walk anywhere or do anything physical as it sets off a cramp
-considering a cap but hard to get a latex free one fitted (apparently they can't fit with latex free) and my GP says they arn't that reliable
-Don't want dh getting the snip yet as we haven't discounted any more children in the future at some point (unlikely but don't want to rule it out at this point - we just ahve 1 5mo dd)

There is no way I want to risk getting pregnant, for a number of reasons which I won't go in to, but natural fp/rhythm type things are just not an option as I'll be paranoid the whole time about getting pg, and dh and I do seem to be quite fertile wink . Tell it to me straight - I'm out of options arn't I? It's either mess myself up with hormones so I don't want any sex anyway or just never have any but want it confused [sob]

silkenladder Fri 22-Jul-11 13:11:50

Sterilisation?

silkenladder Fri 22-Jul-11 13:13:39

Sorry, just read it again more thoroughly.

Male pill?

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 13:23:06

there's a male pill??? <pricks up ears in excitement>

AppleAndBlackberry Fri 22-Jul-11 13:24:43

how about using the cap in combination with something like nfp or persona?

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 13:25:38

persona? never heard of that. Do you think that would be very effective?

ameliagrey Fri 22-Jul-11 13:51:39

Caps are about 96% effective- i had one in between DCs when Pg was not going to be a huge issue- but they are a bit messy and unless you use them every night/day you get the interuption as with condoms.

Have you got a copper coil or a Mirena? I can't understand why is it upsetting your IBS? why do you think it is? If it's a Mirena then yes the progesterone might upset your guts, but not if it's a copper coil as it's too tiny to "press" on your bowels etc.

I'd say a coil was your best option.
How many pills have you tried? Have you tried the POP ( mini) and triphasic types?

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 14:25:09

ameliagrey I'm not sure how but my ibs/coil seem to be affecting each other. My GP thinks it's as my bowels go into spasm and it's the spasms that affect the uterus (or the uterus contracts to try to expel the coil which sets off the stomach spasms, I'm not sure which). Apparently it is unusual but does happen. I'm going to try and give it another few weeks as don't want to give up on it but these cramps I get are really debilitating and I'm on painkillers pretty much every day now hmm . It's the copper coil btw - I wouldn't have the mirena as it's hormones. Pill wise I've tried the patch, then the patch with no break due to probs when on weeks break, that made things worse so then tried yasmin, then cerazette, then micro-something - so 2 combined and 2 pops. My body just doesn't like them and I can't go through the months of problems I had when coming off them again.

So with the cap - do you put it on straight before as it were a la condoms or can you put it on before hand IYKWIM?

ameliagrey Fri 22-Jul-11 14:47:49

My DD who is 22 tried 3-4 pills before she found one that did not make her feel yuck. I can't remember what she found in the end but it ends with an -ette! could be feminette or something and has only 20mgs estrogen.

With the cap, you can put it in when you like. I have forgotten the precise timing TBH as it's years since I used it BUT what I do recall is- you have to use a spermicide as well which you squirt into the domed bit which lies against your cervix, so it doesn't actually make you messy. I THINK there is something about adding more spermicide into the vagina if you have inserted the cap more than 6 hrs before the deed takes place. what is more important is that it is left in place for several hours after sex ( eg overnight) or all those naughty sperm will still be alive and get where they shouldn't be.

You've got to be okay with your own body- i's not too hard to put in but sometimes you need to fish to get it out as there is a slight "suction" effect, and you have to get your finger under the spring rim to remove it. Sorry if this is TMI but better to know I think!

KilledBill Fri 22-Jul-11 14:57:44

If you dont use any hormone based stuff for a while your body gets back into a rhythm and you should be able to know exactly when you are most fertile.

Ive had the same issues as you (plus im a bit of a mardy cow and dont believe women should have to go through hell with contraception and men should be taking responsibility in this day and age) so I havent used any hormones for about 7 years.

I stay celibate for the most part though, in a marriage I suppose you cant do that. So Id suggest learning your natural cycle, avoiding fertile times, and using a cap.

ameliagrey Fri 22-Jul-11 15:01:26

be very careful about relying on your fertile times. I have a 22 yr old DD who was conceived on day 9 of my usual long 30 day cycle. Sperm can live for up to 5 days, so I found out and ovulation can easily shift a day or two either side.

I wasn't using a cap BTW- we took a chance and she was wanted, but a surprise.

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 15:12:41

amelia that's what worries me about fertile times not always accurate - and I would stress so much about it I wouldn't enjoy dtd and we'd end up never doing it anyway. Guess there's no good answer here.

grin to killedbil being a mardy cow

silkenladder Fri 22-Jul-11 17:36:31

Sorry, reastie, maybe I made that up. I have read stuff in the past about people developing a male pill, though. Will go and google.

I am very sympathetic to your problem. I'm currently coming off depo (last shot 16 months ago) and would have never had it if I had known what it would be like when I stopped.

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 18:42:48

silken I googled and it seems it's in development but not yet availabe sad

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 18:47:14

oh and silken the effects of coming off are rubbish arn't they? I told the nurse at the fp clinic all the probs I'd had with coming off of the pill and she looked at me blankly and told me she'd never heard of it before which made me shock - I thought she would speciaise in the area and so be aware of these probs

Lougle Fri 22-Jul-11 18:54:21

Persona has been very helpful for me (can't use hormonal contraceptives). I used it to avoid pregnancy (no sex on 'Red' days) and to get pregnant (have sex on 'Red' days).

It is only 96% effective though, like many contraceptive methods.

It isn't actually a contraceptive in any way, but it analyses the hormones in your urine, to assess your proximity to ovulation, and calculates from that the 'danger zone', taking into account lifespan of egg/sperm. It is quite cautious, so the green days really should be safe.

When talking about risks, though, it's good to play with the numbers. '96% effective' to me sounded home and dry. '1 in 17 women get pregnant in a year using this method' sounds verry risky! Yet, they are the same effective rate expressed in different terms.

Lougle Fri 22-Jul-11 18:55:13

94% effective, sorry.

BertieBotts Fri 22-Jul-11 19:01:15

You could try a contraceptive ring, like nuvaring. I think it's just starting to become available over here, it's been around in the US and canada for ages.

It is hormonal but it's a very low dose method, so you might find it agrees with you more.

z123 Fri 22-Jul-11 19:04:06

persona sounds intersting to me!

Just to add, I also become a psycho b***h from HELL on hormonal conr=traceptives and haven't used them for 5 years now.

My DH and I used to use rhythm method, and for 4 years I didn't get pregnant using only this. We then planned, tried for and had my DD. I had an early miscarriage before I had her, and both times I got pregnant first month we tried so I assume we are fairly fertile too (Though not now I'm still bf and dying for another, now it seems a distant dream...). You do have to be disciplined though, and know your cycles well ( i was very regular with my cycles and we were cautious for the whole week around where we thought I could possibly ovulate- my DH withdrew).

Good luck!

bamboobutton Fri 22-Jul-11 19:08:19

i used persona for years and it worked very well, right up until we decided to risk it on one of the first red days grin

KilledBill Fri 22-Jul-11 19:15:10

Sorry whats this persona? havent heard of it is it expensive and does it involve me pissing on a stick every day?

reastie Fri 22-Jul-11 19:16:04

I [naive] was always told at school such methods didn't work and never to use them so I think my brain set is a bit confused by them, but it does seem lots of people do rhythm/persona/type methods. Just can't see how they can work so well if sperm can live so darn long - they might wait for me to ovulate hmm

ameliagrey Fri 22-Jul-11 20:55:18

Z123 hope you are not advocating withdrawal as a suitable method of contraception? Even using alongside your cycle is dodgy- as cycles can always change- as my now 22 yr old DD proves.

Did you miss that sex ed lesson at school?smile

sperm are relased along with lubricating fluids long before ejaculation. Only 1 is needed to make a baby.

z123 Fri 22-Jul-11 22:19:47

ameliagrey I do know that. It was that, being v cautious at any potentially fertile times- and i didn't get pg for the 4 years we did it, so must have done something right!!!! we did also say that if I got pg it wouldn't be a disaster at all, just earlier than planned. Once we have all the children we would like (i'd like 2 more!), will prob go for copper coil.
doesn't natural family planning have a 97% success rate if used correctly though? I mean temp charting, checking cervical mucus, protection/abstinence at fertile times?

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