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HA is awful, verging on a panic attack all day. Please can someone help?

(15 Posts)
kaylasmum Thu 16-Jun-11 16:58:42

i posted here before about this fear that i have about anal cancer. I'm 45 and have a small lump next to my anus, its been there for more than 2 weeks now. i went to my gp who said she thinks its a haemmorhoid and she,s not worried. She did pretty much say that i don't have anal cancer but i'm torturing myself with scary thoughts.

I think the lump iss smaller now but not sure. I can only feel it under the skin and its tiny and moveable.

I called to speak to gp today and was in a really bad way. He gp did manage to calm me down but i'm struggling so much today. I need to go to work but can't face it. I did'nt get my 7 ym dd to school today and i can't function. Cn't breathe properly.

Please someone help.

chipstick10 Thu 16-Jun-11 17:22:21

You need to take a deep breath. Calm yourself. your gp is not worried, neither should you be. Think about it rationally. Do you have any other symptoms? Your fear is what seems to be frightening you. Fear of fear causes such anxiety, i know, ive been there. You need to get a grip for your daughter. Drink water throughout the day. Dehydration causes fear.

reikizen Thu 16-Jun-11 17:25:32

you need to speak to your GP about your mental health issues. In the meantime ring SANE or someone to speak to. good luck

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 16-Jun-11 17:26:07

Do you have any prescription medicines for your anxiety? You need to make an appointment with your GP about this not the non-existent anal cancer.

Meanwhile google relaxation techniques and techniques to help you deal with panic attacks.

Have you got a partner or relative who can speak to your gp on your behalf? Or is there another gp within the practice who is "hotter" on mental health issues?

kaylasmum Thu 16-Jun-11 21:27:50

thanks for the replies,

I would have replied sooner but i'm at work. I am on citalopram for depression and anxiety. I had cbt a year and a half ago which really seemed to work until now. I've been re-referred back to them.

I try to think rationally but when this fear grips me its all consuming. I know i have to sort this for the sake of my family.

perfumedlife Thu 16-Jun-11 22:36:58

I know how awful those panic attacks are kaylasmum sad

I had an undiagnosed illness that gave me chest pain, sharp pain down my left arm, jaw pain, basically all the signs of a heart attack. I started to think I was dying, then the heart would race, tingle in my hands and feet, nausea, you know the drill. I lost count of the amounts of visits I had to a&e. Even when I finally was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and therefor knew the reasons for this pain were less worrying, I was still in the grip of anxiety. I'd suffered it so long it was part of me. That freaked me out, i could see myself becoming a recluse, staying close to home/hospital in case of the worst case scenario.

CBT didn't make much difference, not long term. What did work was my mum sitting me down and asking me how I intended to stop from ever dying. I couldn't answer her. She was saying, basically, face the fear we all have, no one wants to die, ever, not really. We don't have too much control over it. So, although it was more than likely way off in the future, I was ruining the life I have now, wrecking it, by my anxiety. Well yes, but I feel like you, and no doubt every single mum on here, I don't want to ever be separated from my child. And yet, won't we all, one day? Here I was, wrecking my here and now, with my family, by worrying about the future, which I can't control.

I had to really force myself to learn acceptance. To be mindful of what I love each day and enjoy each second, savour the moment.

Tomorrow, try to pinpoint a moment when you feel good, maybe the kids are making you laugh, or the house is full of warmth and the famly are all around you. Notice the feeling of contentment, savour it, taste it, and say, this is happiness. Now you have comitted a wonderful memory to the bank for when you are old, instead of an anxious moment for when you are lying in bed, awake. The more you have these moments, the less room there is for the fear. It can work.

kaylasmum Thu 16-Jun-11 23:15:29

perfumedlife- what a lovely post! Thank you!

I really want to feel better, i'm so ashamed of myself. I've not done my job as a mum today. My children are my life and all i want to do is live long enough to be here for them. 20 years is all i need!

perfumedlife Thu 16-Jun-11 23:37:23

Ah, don't ever feel ashamed my love, it's not your doing, it's the subconsious. It can be conquered though smile

I had a great book on it, lent it out, but will get it back and send it on to you when I do.

kaylasmum Fri 17-Jun-11 00:04:17

thanks perfumedlife, you've really made me feel so much better!

I'm going to try and be more positive, i owe that much to my family. That would be much appreciated if you could send the book or even if you tell me the name of it i could buy it.

Thanks again.

Curiousmama Fri 17-Jun-11 00:19:16

perfumedlife you're a star, what lovely posts smile

kaylasmum, I think those thoughts too, just give me enough years to see them grow. I also suffer from PAs and am on citalopram. Have you had your meds investigated? Sometimes they need a tweak? Am sure your GP would know though?
I was always on 20mg then went through a very stressful time and GP put me on 40mg. I was bit surprised and thought 30 would be better. Turns out 40 was too strong am back on 20.

Was there a symptom you concentrated on before this one? Do you find there's always something you think you have?

kaylasmum Fri 17-Jun-11 08:29:59

curiousmama- i'm on 40mg of citalopram and don't really want it increased.

I did'nt really have any other symptom that was worrying me like this beforhand, just little niggles that i managed to suppress. I don't know why i've reacted so badly with this. Why cant i trst my gp?

iscream Fri 17-Jun-11 08:43:41

kaylasmum, if it is smaller, it probably is a hemorrhoid. For peace of mind, you could ask your doctor for a bowel screen test.
From that link.

"Your GP will want to take a full history from you (see the factsheets Keeping a Symptom Diary; Talking to Your GP) and may wish to carry out some preliminary tests. These might include:

Rectal examination and/or abdominal examination
Blood tests
Faecal occult blood test"

I really think if it is smaller though, it is as your doctor says. Hemorrhoids change in size depending on whether they are irritated, they are just veins that can fill up with blood sometimes. When they shrink they are as you describe.
Good luck!

Curiousmama Sat 18-Jun-11 12:09:31

Could it be a sebaceous cyst?

No I don't blame you about the citalopram it's probably high enough. Have you ever had NLP? Maybe ask you GP about this? If you don't trust your GP why not ask to see another who specialises in such matters?

kaylasmum Sat 18-Jun-11 13:49:17

curiousmama- don't think its a cyst. Its under the skin, very small and not particularly painful.

Its not that i don't trust my gp, its my health anxiety thats making me feel this way. I could see every gp at my surgery and still be worried.

What is a nlp?

Curiousmama Sat 18-Jun-11 14:08:48

Hope this helps?

Anxiety is awful can totally relate.

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