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mothers who smoke set a bad example for their children?

(46 Posts)
magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:07:12

Yesterday afternoon as I was hanging out my washing My next door neighbor came out onto her balcony and lit up a cigarette and starting smoking.
now you may think well what is my point?
if so my point is she is a parent of four young boys and she looks to be in her late 20s early 30s and I just think it is a pity that she has a habit of smoking because the first thing is it will only do her harm and her boys will be dependent on her until they grow up but in the meantime once they get into their late teens they may decide to take up smoking too and the chances are she may approve and so her boys who are currently Healthy will start becoming unhealthy by taking up smoking.
and I think its such a reckless thing to do.
both my parents were smokers when I was a nipper but thankfully my mum stopped and has now been tobacco free for over 30 years.
my dad stopped smoking when he was run over by a car.
he now has diabetes and is severely disabled.
and my mum is also Diabetic and lost 3 toes last years when her foot starting rotting from gangrene after she got an infection that didn't heal.
my dad is in his late 70s and my mum is in her late 60s.
now imagine how worse they would be if they were still smokers?
I'm not running down mums who smoke, I just think it sets a bad example for their children seeing their mum or dad as the case may be puffing away.
day after day I see mothers pushing prams with a cigarette in their mouth and it makes me feel sad for them and their children because what if the mother has a heart attack due to the damage caused by the tobacco?
anyway please share your Thoughts.

JoanofArgos Thu 02-Jun-11 11:08:53

I think you're setting a bad example for your children by being so judgmental and pious wink

JBellingham Thu 02-Jun-11 11:12:08

Your dad stopped smoking by being run over by a car? Could you not have got him patches?

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:12:43

fair enough Joan
This Is a public Forum and you expressed your Opinion
Thank you.
but of course I don't agree that I am being Judgmental or pious.
I'm just concerned and there is nothing wrong with being concerned in my opinion.

JBellingham Thu 02-Jun-11 11:13:31

Both your parents are diabetic? Is this type 2 diabetes caused by 'em being fat because they ate too much when they gave up smoking?

greencolorpack Thu 02-Jun-11 11:14:04

Your parents were smokers but you don't smoke. The boys downstairs might feel the same way. Dh was in a house where his Mum, Dad and sister all smoked like chimneys. Dh's school uniform reeked of cigarettes and he hated it, he hated people thinking he smoked too, he's now passionately anti-smoking.

But yes, if they do take up smoking they may well get tacit approval from mum because it makes her feel less defensive if others take it up. My mum's cousin smokes and so do her two daughters, they all stand furtively in a cupboard smoking together, I assume it must be a lovely bonding moment, all smoking in a fug of guilt and self-loathing. confused

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:15:44

It didnt occur to me to buy him patches...anyway it turned out that he didn't need them...the poor man can hardly left a cup to his mouth now let alone a cigarette.

Cattleprod Thu 02-Jun-11 11:16:57

Of course it's a bad example. Most smokers know that. They aren't stupid, they are addicted.

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:19:57

yes they did both put on weight for a while...however my dad started losing alot of weight when he could no longer keep down his food...and my mum is a little overweight but its understandable because she is not able to do as much she did before her health started failing.

strawberryjelly Thu 02-Jun-11 11:23:55

it's a no brainer.

Of course it's a bad example.

How could anyone think otherwise?
I want to slap mums who I see pushing toddlers in push chairs, fags dangling from their mouths. ( the mums not the toddlers.)

There is a huge amount of free help via the NHS to give it up- smokers just have to WANT to.

Flippingebay Thu 02-Jun-11 11:24:35

rofl @ JBellingham grin

The essence of your post I think is right, of course none of us should smoke, especially in front of kids!

But I also think you are being judgemental about it all (I take it you are a none smoker)... If it was that easy to give up smoking I bet only a tiny percentage of people would still do it. Yes, smoking is bad for you, it's bad for your kids and, health wise its probably one of the worst things you could do to your body.. But, there are worse things out there, each to their own I say! At least she's doing it outside and not in the house.

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:28:09

Thanks for your answer.
I just think it is so sad to see a mother smoking especially when her children are with her because it is like they are seeing their mum damaging her health right in front of them.
that can't be a good thing.
But I understand that it is an addiction and so although a mother knows it is not good to smoke, the craving for nicotine overpowers her conscience again and again and in the meantime each cigarette is causing more damage to her organs each time.
its like playing Russian roulette with your health.
so for me smoking should be a no go area for mothers simply cause it does them no good and it sets a bad example for their children.

greencolorpack Thu 02-Jun-11 11:29:02

Flippingebay, I do know what you mean, but... I know what my dh would say (or rant), he'd say it's all very well not smoking in the house, but what happens when that mum gets lung cancer and leaves four little kids without a mum? There's more to the effects of smoking than passive smoking. My MIL is an unrepentant smoker and now she's frail with emphysema, we're raising her grandson because she can't, so her choice to smoke all her life is having a very direct effect on our family, and MIL is the first to have a go if we hint in any way that we don't like cigarette smoke. Like we're the ones with the problem!!!

oxocube Thu 02-Jun-11 11:29:16

I'm not running down mums who smoke, ........ erm, well you are. Fair enough, its a public forum. I don't smoke, don't particularly like it and would not be happy if my kids started smoking but I do think you are being very judgemental.

Its her business, not yours hmm

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:31:43

I don't think slapping mothers who smoke Is a good Idea but I certainly Think that mothers should consider the example they set for the kids each time they light up a cigarette.

greencolorpack Thu 02-Jun-11 11:32:29

Oxocube, telling people not to be judgemental on a forum is a bit like telling the sun to stop shining. smile

TheLadyEvenstar Thu 02-Jun-11 11:32:37

My Dad smoked, Mum didn't
My sister tried smoking and didn't like it
My brother wouldn't touch a cigarette if you paid him
I was dead set anti smoking from the age of 6 - yes here I am 30yrs on and I smoke.

But then I am the one with piercings and tattoos whereas my parents and sibling are against them as well.

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:38:53

you are entitled to you opinion...but I don't think I am running down mums who smoke, I'm just saying it sets a bad example.

oxocube Thu 02-Jun-11 11:39:22

green - you are right, so I bow out now. grin

magpie, I will bear your comments about setting a good example to my children in mind, next time I drink a couple of glasses of wine (this evening actually) smile

JoanofArgos Thu 02-Jun-11 11:43:04

yeah, it doesn't set the best example. But it's just not your business, and you don't know all the ins and outs of every parent who smokes.

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:45:37

Thank you...Believe it or not I am actually an ex smokershock
I started the habit in my late teens early 20s and stopped by my early 30s.
I don't miss it and If I was a father I would make it my responsibility to teach my child about the dangers of smoking.
and if their mother was a smoker I would encourage her and support her efforts to quit...and why?
because if she Is a mother and a wife she is precious and I wouldn't want to lose her to lung cancer.
and also there is nothing more off putting than kissing a smoker.

iphonedrone Thu 02-Jun-11 11:45:48

Chances are she may approve of her children smoking? I doubt that very much, I don't know one smoker who would be happy with their child/teenager smoking

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:46:36

well if you do oxocube good on ya ; )

Bucharest Thu 02-Jun-11 11:47:05

Of course it's a bad example. As is being judgemental. Thing is, only the former is going to kill you.

magpienchips Thu 02-Jun-11 11:51:07

What Is being judgmental about being concerned about what a mother is doing to herself?
ok I know its not my life but I think it is good to be concerned for people.

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