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dad got lung cancer really struggling coping

(9 Posts)
trace2 Tue 30-Nov-10 17:43:06

dad as lung cancer not told us how long he as, just told no treatment only palliative care. this may sound selfish but am struggling you see i lost my mum to cancer 6 years ago and really dont want to watch dad go through the awful pain mum did with cancer . dad at the moment is still walking around the house up to last week was still driving! he is so strong and you would never guess. i am doing all i can drive down to his and take him shopping or get his shopping every day, but am feeling so guilty as i dont want to always go am scared when i get there the curtains will still be closed if you know what i mean? i am one of 7 children but only me does all this as one of my sisters as her head in the sand and says hes ok hes not dyingshock and when i dd goes into hospital alot ( i have two sn children) none one helps. sorry just needed to get of my chest.

HecateQueenOfWitches Tue 30-Nov-10 17:46:03

can you contact macmillan? they are there to support everyone. perhaps they may be able to let you know what help may be available?

trace2 Tue 30-Nov-10 17:52:03

the lung nurse did also sent district nurse down he as told them we dont need them yet i do understand he wants to do what he can for himself i dare not tell him am struggling

WanderingInAWinterWonderland Tue 30-Nov-10 17:53:53

Oh I'm sorry to read this sad. I lost my Dad to lung cancer nearly 14 years ago, it's horrible and heartbreaking to see them go through it.

I would say what Hecate said about Macmillan. They were great with us. I think they came everyday (can't remember much as I was still at school). In the end Dad ended up in the local hospice and they did wonders with him. He was bedridden but in the hospice they had him sitting up and he was walking around. It was like a miracle!

Sorry to hear about your mum too sad.

HecateQueenOfWitches Tue 30-Nov-10 17:54:06

you don't have to. he doesn't need to know you've contacted anyone for support for yourself.

HecateQueenOfWitches Tue 30-Nov-10 17:55:08

btw, my grandad died of cancer some weeks ago. the macmillan person was very nice and let us all know that they were there for all of us and to feel free to contact them.

trace2 Tue 30-Nov-10 18:09:27

yes they was great with mum and i think thats what dads thinking about he felt his life had been invaded as mum didnt want hospice so at the end was very hard work watching her go through it all and nurses was there most of time. i may ring them just to hat too , it may help am feeling very down

HecateQueenOfWitches Tue 30-Nov-10 21:01:03

I'm really sorry. It is such a hard time when you're facing this.

coodles Tue 30-Nov-10 22:39:18

Sorry to hear this.

MacMillan should help, also if you have a local hospice they may have outreach teams.

The GP should be involved and hopefully be able to visit to assess medication.

Your Dad would also be entitled to Disability Living Allowance which might help with extra expenses and the application could be done under the Special Rules which means it will be fast tracked.

Sounds like you need support too in coping with this. I would definitely contact MacMillan and see whats available.

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