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Partner always tired, always feeling ill - help!

(25 Posts)
commanderprimate Thu 23-Sep-10 16:13:59

As the thread title says really - he works three days a week, but this amount seriously exhausts him (they are longish days - 8 to 8 out of the house - with the commute, but I did the same full-time and it didn't do me in). He genuinely seems to need the whole four days to recover and feel OK. Sorry, feel a bit of a rant coming on because I'm quite upset and stressed by this.

He's always got a cold or says he feels "fluey" and ill, he has to have a lie down almost every day if he's not at work, he'll suddenly go 'I don't feel so good, I need to lie down' and just crash for most of day, and it seems to be getting worse - today he's had a good night's sleep (11 - 10), then pottered about and done a bit of work on a project on the computer, one of his own that he wants to do - then gone back to bed at about 1. I went up half an hour later, he said he felt stressed so I suggested getting up, having a cuppa and watching TV. Then asked if he'd sit in passenger seat of car while I drove to tip, me doing all the hard work (I'm on a provisional licence), but he just crashed again and has been back in bed for another hour now.

He's been to doc - thyroid at least has been ruled out, but is it worth doing that test again? He's on anti-depressants but always was tired even before that but not so badly.

It's awful, I'm really worried, I feel lonely and isolated (have a 3 month old baby) - he's not here half the time and when he is here he's in bed.

What can I do? Is there anything that would help? Please - any suggestions, any personal experience would be really welcome.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 23-Sep-10 16:16:22

Has anaemia been ruled out? That can leave you feeling really exhausted if it's left untreated.

He needs to see his GP anyway, to let them know what's been happening and how he can't function properly.

commanderprimate Thu 23-Sep-10 17:32:26

He has been to see gp about this, and stomach problems he's had, and they did numerous tests. I'm sure anaemia would have been among them, I have the same doctor and he's quite hot on anaemia.

lilyliz Thu 23-Sep-10 20:35:17

has he had a thyroid check? took a year to diagnose me as docs were looking for something more complicated,HRT for thyroid soon sorted it out .

HRHPrincessReality Thu 23-Sep-10 20:38:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HRHPrincessReality Thu 23-Sep-10 20:40:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

castlesintheair Thu 23-Sep-10 20:40:22

Is he on the right ADs? Not only could the wrong ones be making him feel unwell but the incorrect dosage won't be helping his depression which will could be making him feeling tired/ill.

ppeatfruit Fri 24-Sep-10 11:45:01

He could be wheat intolerant. You could try changing the bread you all eat to rye (waitrose sell good rye) also ryvitas, and rice instead of pasta etc. it's worth a try smile

nightcat Fri 24-Sep-10 15:42:43

stomach problems? agree with ppeat, cut down on wheat and in time he might even be able to come off a/ds. Make him a cooked breakfast in the morning, this will not work overnight but it will be a start.
Wheat prevents absorption of vits & minerals and starves body of nutrients generally, you could also get him vit ACE + zinc.
When I used to have cereal in the morning, I couldn't keep my eyes open at work, felt sooo tired, people were commenting.

artyjools Fri 24-Sep-10 16:13:37

Don't want to scare you - as I think depression is probably the main culprit, but has he had any chest pains at all? My DH was like this a few years back when our three children were very young. He would come home from work and fall asleep on the sofa. I was at my wits end. Then he had a heart attack. He was very lucky - we were very lucky. He changed his diet, exercise routine etc and stopped smoking and is now fitter than he has ever been. Now he comes home from work and goes out to play footie with the kids.

Looking back there were signs that all was not well, and the chronic tiredness was one f them.

ppeatfruit Sun 26-Sep-10 16:03:58

nightcat its so nice to hear from someone who has changed their diet to cope with tiredness etc. my DH takes a good kelp supplement which helps a lot if he 'forgets' his wheat sensitivity.It's not easy to cut it out though is it?

nightcat Sun 26-Sep-10 16:59:53

hi ppeat
Tt was easy for me as I put my ds on GF first and was impressed, well, blown away by the results grin.
The more I learnt about wheat, the more sense it made and I have weaned myself off it completely now and feel totally better.
It was harder for my ds as for me the logic of it was quite obvious.

Booner Sun 26-Sep-10 20:16:03

commander - sorry to hear he is so exhausted - I imagine you are as well with a young baby? I know I was!

Can you find out what he hs been tested for previously and make sure he has been tested for anaemia, thyroid and coeliac disease? As well as discussing depression?

Get the tests done before changing his diet but nightcat is absolutely right about the improvements without wheat in your diet.

Hope you find some answers soon.

LunaticFringe Sun 26-Sep-10 20:24:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PigletJohn Sun 26-Sep-10 22:12:03

has he got a horrible job that he really hates?

nightcat Sun 26-Sep-10 22:42:20

Lunatic, it's quite awesome when you see how things improve, isn't it, some of the symptoms I would have never linked to wheat until I saw them go, nose bleeds, awful nails, brain fog, frequent muscle/joint pains and a whole lot more in my ds

Keziahhopes Mon 27-Sep-10 00:10:14

Hi - a simple blood test to see if he is coeliac before diet changes might be good. Also some ADs can cause drowsiness, such as mirtazapine (hence these best taken at night) so a review of his ADs and when to take and dosage sounds good. That amount of sleep etc doesn't sound helpful to him or you and baby.

ppeatfruit Mon 27-Sep-10 08:35:34

Lunatic and nightcat have you heard of the Blood Type Diet?It says why we all respond differently to wheat and dairy etc e.g. I had eczema and found that deadly nightshade veg. are an 'Avoid' for A types.I'm fine now.

ppeatfruit Mon 27-Sep-10 08:38:51

Sorry to hi jack yr thread commander but the blood type would no doubt help yr DH like mine only he's sceptical and I'm the one without ANY health probs!!

Yayamarne Mon 27-Sep-10 14:58:17

Hi Commander,
Did this start at any point? My DH has chronic fatigue/ME which started after 'flu 3 years ago. He has to pace himself very carefully (including sleeping at weekends etc). He currently works short days rather than 3 long days as with CFS/ME it seems to be better managed by keeping a fairly level pace rather than "boom and bust" which seems tobe your hubby's routine. Has your GP cpnsidered this? My 2 daughters also have ME and have responded well to anti candida diet.

nightcat Mon 27-Sep-10 18:47:11

hi ppeat, yes! have researched that too and t for me & ds it does say to avoid wheat!!
Of course it makes sense, as it's partly based on genetics, although some people say it's too simplistic to look at blood group alone. For us it is a very consistent picture, it's fascinating how it all comes together.
I also think there is a lot of logic in food combining, but overall nutrition is the best approach, although lots of sources tell you what to eat but only few what NOT to eat.

LunaticFringe Mon 27-Sep-10 20:13:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ppeatfruit Mon 27-Sep-10 21:26:12

Lunatic, O types shouldn't have ANY wheat, It also changes my DHs pesonality!! Yours is the hunter gatherer type. nightcat it really is fascinating isn't it? I food combine for health and weight also eat fruit before meals.

ArsMamatoria Wed 29-Sep-10 00:23:06

Would second what Artyjools said. He should have a thorough heart check-up if he's had any chest pains. They should check for any signs of enlargement.

Do you live in the country? Is there any chance he could have picked up a tick somehow? Lyme disease?


The depression could be a cause but could also be a symptom. Do have all the tests possible before putting the abnormal fatigue down to depression.

Hope he is ok.

AbrarAhmad31 Sat 05-Nov-16 20:26:50

There are a few reasons you are feeling tired without any reason. One of them is anemia, which is a lack of red blood cells and conversely, oxygen from the lungs is not properly brought to the tissues and cells. Anemia may be caused by deficiency of vitamins or minerals, internal bleeding or chronic diseases. Women who are at “that time” of the month are susceptible to anemia as blood is lost during menstruation. Still, iron deficiency due to menstruation is less than in pregnant women or lactating mothers, as their body needs extra iron to maintain healthy blood levels. Things may also go wrong when your thyroid glands refuse to cooperate with you. Thyroid hormones, thyroxine (T4) and triiodothyronine (T3) are responsible for metabolic processes in the body. Too much thyroid hormone causes hyperthyroidism which speeds up metabolism while too little thyroid hormone slows down metabolism. Hyperthyroidism causes fatigue and muscle weakness and starts in the thighs. Doing energy demanding activities become difficult and other symptoms include weight loss, feeling warm, shorter menstruations, increased heart rate and thirst. Hypothyroidism also causes fatigue and muscle weakness. The symptoms are reversed to hyperthyroidism such as weight gain, feeling cold and longer menstruations. Diabetes, notorious for causing a range of problems in the body, is also related to fatigue. As glucose is the staple fuel of the body, it is not utilized properly in patients with type 2 diabetes as the absence of insulin causes the glucose to build up in the body. Without its staple fuel, the tissues of the body are not nourished properly and causes fatigue. Sadly, being sad can also be the reason you feel tired. Depression induces negative feelings and also has negative effects on the body as it causes a reduction in energy levels, changes in sleep and eating patterns, decreased concentration and overall laziness and worthlessness which keeps you in bed all day.

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