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Am starting to think that maybe this is a baaad idea.....

(19 Posts)
sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 16:50:25

Going to Florida next summer gringringrin
cant wait. BUT
going with ils, & bil who is 34, lives with ils and is single.
he smokes, spends EVERY Friday & sat night getting pissed up in his bedroom with his friends.Doesnt get out of bed the next day till 3pmish.
he has never been abroad before.
he has got a loan for the holiday but spent half of it (its his money, up to him) so dh has come up with a savings plan for him so that he will have enough for the holiday. He is crap with money.

So want this to be fab for him as it is his 1st holiday ever.
want it to be fab for mil who has hopefully just got over cancer.
want it to be fab for us as we have had 2 mcs over the last 18 months.

I think that we should agree some rules before we go.
no smoking in the villa.
up beofre 9.30am every day so we can get out and use our park tickets
no getting slaughtered, but a few beers great.
if he wants a lazy day then great, but dont expect mil or any of us to stay behind picking up after him, cooking for him etc..

i am sounding like a nagging old bag BUT the behaviour of one, could ruin the whole time for us all.

what do you think?

donnie Sat 15-Aug-09 16:53:17

completely agree - although I suspect BIL will take issue with your suggestions!

he's already spent half the money?

don't bank on him going at all!

Stinkyfeet Sat 15-Aug-09 16:59:48

As an adult who had paid for the holiday myself (assuming he does get the money together!), I would not be happy at being told what time I had to get up in the morning, and how much I was allowed to drink!

sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 17:02:43

I know, i know you are right stinky, but we need some rules i think as we will be sharing a car etc.
we are also going with ds who will be 7, so there is him to consider.

I want to make it as easy, friendly and happy as poss but i know that if he does all of the above, he will make the time miserable for us all.
waiting for him to get out of bed so we can go out, smoking and getting pissed up then bieng ill the next day all day.....

Stinkyfeet Sat 15-Aug-09 17:11:38

I do agree about making ground rules though. Perhaps 'We will be leaving at 9.30 each morning for anyone who wants to go out that day' as opposed to 'Everyone must be up by 9.30'! It's all in the delivery grin!

But, for your own sanity, don't take on the responsibility of making the holiday perfect for everyone - you'll only end up disappointed if it isn't. Maybe less organisation and planning will make for a more relaxing time for everyone.

No smoking in the villa is a totally reasonable rule

sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 17:16:13

yes i was going to say that i wont be as bossy as that, was going to put it as you say.

Because it is such a busy holiday we will need some planning i think.
I may suggest that they hire a car for the 3 of them, and we have one for us, thatw ay we can all please our selves....might just be easier.
all 3 of the ils dont ever get up before 10am on a normal day, we are up with little fella by 7 every morning.

hmm this is the better solution,

Stinkyfeet Sat 15-Aug-09 17:21:11

Yes, 2 cars would probably work better - there's nothing worse than sitting around for hours waiting for other people to be ready! They can always meet you later in the morning at whichever park you're at.

StinkyFart Sat 15-Aug-09 17:27:39

yy no smoking indoors is a good one

those who are going out be ready by 9:30 is fine - thus you are not dictating his day - I would be mighty pissed orf if you told me I HAD to be up by so-and-so

Perhaps his idea of a holiday is to stay up, plastered, til late then sleep in til noon

(sounds like my ideal hol too lol)

sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 17:27:48

I am going to suggest this to dh.

Itw ill save on allot of agro i think...
we should ask for 2 sets of keys for the villa as well then we can all come and go as we want, meet up for dinner at night.

they can make it thier own holiday, im not stressing about them having a good time.

StinkyFart Sat 15-Aug-09 17:29:05

good plan smile

sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 17:31:59

thansk stinky xxx smile

Portofino Sat 15-Aug-09 17:35:34

I would be very surprised if smoking is ALLOWED in rented accommodation in Florida - hotels seem to be all non-smoking, and most rental places I've looked at anywhere recently specified no smoking inside. Might make at least one task a bit easier.

He sounds a right catch! wink

sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 17:46:55

wonder why he is single????

GrapefruitMoon Sat 15-Aug-09 18:26:40

Yes definitely get two cars - but maybe make sure one is big enough for ILs to come with you as well (assuming BIL drives though wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't from what you say!) so that if they want to go along with you when you are leaving they are not the ones missing out just because he doesn't want to get up.

But it really is best if you are prepared to do your own thing during the day. BIL probably won't be that bothered about the theme parks. (BTW what exactly is he planning to do there as it's a long & expensive way to go to get pissed every day?)

We had family visiting a while ago, biggish group, wide age ranges. It all went very pear shaped at the end, not helped I think because they tried to do everything together - they had a couple of teenagers who didn't really want to get up early to go to the zoo, sort of thing...

suwoo Sat 15-Aug-09 18:37:10

Re the drinking. I have never had a hangover in my life like the ones I had in Florida. I am a fairly big regular drinker, but my goodness I was rough. I think you might find he won't drink as much as he normally does at home.

sunburntats Sat 15-Aug-09 20:00:03

dh thinks that they wont go along with a car for themselves as they wont want to drive anywhere.....


so we are stuck with the same problem....
ive told him to discuss it with them to make sure....

saggyhairyarse Sat 15-Aug-09 21:28:26

Rather than dictate what time he gets up, maybe plan what you are doing a few days ahead and agree a time to leave and if he is not ready then you will go without him.

I wouldn't say no getting slaughtered but maybe get your DH to speak to his brother about drinking/behaving appropriately infront of your DS.

saggyhairyarse Sat 15-Aug-09 21:38:48

Oh, OK, you covered that. Well I don't think it is fair to expect a 7year old to hang around all morning when he is going to want to hit the parks. Just agree what time you are going and then go if they aren't ready with a cheery "we're off to XXX, give us a call later when you are about, byeeeee".

Having not been to Florida I have no idea but is there public transport they could use?

suwoo Sat 15-Aug-09 22:01:31

No, public transport would be very difficult IME. When I went as part of a family group we did a planner for a few days ahead so I'm sure that would also be feasible for you.

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