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Should I say anything to nasty dad?

(44 Posts)
DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 22:43:11

DD had a school friend over to play this afternoon. I know her mother quite well, but know the father by sight only. The child mentioned in conversation that her daddy couldn't remember my name and had given a description of me to the child's mother to confirm my identity. It was really the most cruel and hurtful description I've ever heard, and was definitely something the child had overheard and was repeating.

I am so hurt and have been thinking about it all evening. DH has been sympathetic, but says I have over reacted and should forget it.

I feel bruised and angry. Obviously I don't blame the child, but should I let on that I know what he has been saying?

I have to face the mother tomorrow who will not know that I know.


FREAKshow Thu 27-Sep-07 22:47:06

How horrible! I would be angry if it were me, but I don't think you should say anything to the mum. After all, she might not share her husband's opinions, and if she's always been polite to you, it doesn't seem fair to put her in a difficult position. Make it easy for you children to stay friends by leaving it.

But stay away from the dad. He can have his negative opinion of you, but now you have a negative opinion of him!

PSCMUM Thu 27-Sep-07 22:48:32

I'd let the Mum know that I know. ANd the Dad. the fuckers. Make them feel uncomfortable, not you. some people. what a tosser.

harman Thu 27-Sep-07 22:49:50

Message withdrawn

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 22:52:21

Not sure, I could brood about it.

On the other hand I could make lots of trouble between myself and the mother if I say something.

Elasticbandstand Thu 27-Sep-07 22:53:19

poor you.
horrible horrible man, and within child's earshot, very unthinking.
i would do as harman

Elasticbandstand Thu 27-Sep-07 22:53:47

it was the father who made the comment though?

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 22:54:09

Also, was so cross, couldn't see properly through the red mist and have accidentally posted this thread twice. blush

I am a newbie, if a really cross newbie.

Elasticbandstand Thu 27-Sep-07 22:54:17

do you think he is right?
is he good looking or the wife?

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 22:55:40

It was the father and I feel like sticking pins in a mini version of him.

Elasticbandstand Thu 27-Sep-07 22:56:07

do it girl!
make an effigy

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 22:58:26

<Pickles gets Plasticine from cupboard>

Elasticbandstand Thu 27-Sep-07 23:01:21

next tim you see him say HEllo Handsome

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 23:01:30

Elasticbandstand They are a very attractive couple, but I would consider myself OK-looking.

Certainly not worthy of spiteful comments about appearance, and wouldn't sink so low myself.

Elasticbandstand Thu 27-Sep-07 23:05:15

beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he is obviously very ugly now! grin

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 23:08:24

Too true.

I would never talk about someone within earshot of a 5/6 year old. It's sure to be repeated especially if it's rude.

Thanks for comments, I feel a bit better.

InMyHumbleOpinion Thu 27-Sep-07 23:11:11

Deedee, next time you feel cross, just think about the sort of environment he must have been raised in to come out with a horrendous thing like what he said.

elesbells Thu 27-Sep-07 23:20:19

do you know what deedeep? for someone to describe another in a horrible fashion within earshot of his child is much more unattractive imo.

don't be hurt, smile at mum tomorrow and pity her for having to live with such a shallow man.

welcome to mumsnet smile

Happynow Thu 27-Sep-07 23:22:19

Go on Deedee - what did he say?

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 23:24:09


Have been a MN 'voyeur' for some time, haven't posted much. But I knew you'd make me feel better.

Can I join in a really fierce thread sometime, when I feel more 'up'?

<thinks of v. funny middle-class thread>

DeedeePickles Thu 27-Sep-07 23:25:29

OK, here goes...

Is that the woman with long hair, puffed up lips and dry old skin.

I've said it. It doesn't look so bad now. AIBU?

KerryMum Thu 27-Sep-07 23:26:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Happynow Thu 27-Sep-07 23:27:41

Ha, ha me too! Go on tell us what he said. You know if you get it out it diminishes it ... big time. You could call me anything under the sun - would I care? Yeah sometimes. But most of the time, not. Because I'm not so bad really. I'm a good person. And so are you! x

cornsilk Thu 27-Sep-07 23:28:58

He said that? He sounds like a nasty piece of work.

moondog Thu 27-Sep-07 23:31:22

Ah,bless you.GHe sounds like a nasty old twat.
Listen,people pay good money for puffed up lips.

Tell you what always works.
Next time you see him,give him a once up and down look,giggle in smug fashion to yourself and say 'Ah! I see you are wearing boat shoes,shorts/a fleece/raincoat!' (What oyu mention is irrelevant,poinmt is to get his attention.

He will nod,probably in slightly bemused fashion at which you say
'Well you know what they say about men who wear boat shoes/a fleece etc etc don't you?'

Whether or not he answers,your response is then to laugh merrily and turn on your heel.
I guarantee that you will have severely unnerved him and he will think about it all day in paranoid fashion.

I emply this technique regularly with enemies and believe me,it never fails.


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