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Primary school, refusal of absence for a silly reason. Override headteacher?

(18 Posts)
NewmumAA Fri 05-Apr-19 19:01:25

Hello all. I am upset with the decision of the primary school headteacher. She is new and first newsletter she told us parents off for loads of things. So story goes that my parents live abroad on their own and need my help for health issues. Both suffer since last year from Heart conditions and my father is sriously unwell. I work during Easter since I run my business and got arranged responsibilities I cannot leave. I am a divorcee. My ex agreed with asking permission. Headteacher has approoved other people to go on holidays during the term. Now she refused to take my two kids away (which have this year 100% attendance). Her answer was kids last year went away because of fathers problem. Now its not appropriate to take my kids, since we have Easter and bank holiday to go so she cannot agree and neither cares for the circumstances. Is there a way to talk to an education welfare officer for that? Is there away to override this decision. I dont want special treatment but still family is important and kids need to see their grandpa in case he dies, which is highly likely due to his consecutive heart surgeries . Does it worth it looking at talking to someone or shall I take kids and face fine? Also paperwork threats that the headteacher will report me to the education officer If I take kids althout its not authorised. Help please mum n dads. Am I unreasonable?

Bittern11 Fri 05-Apr-19 19:05:28

Yes, you are being U. I an see the school's POV.

The kids are now off school for 2.5 weeks! It would be logical for you to take them to see their GPs now.

Bittern11 Fri 05-Apr-19 19:05:36

*can see

Tomtontom Fri 05-Apr-19 19:08:35

Yes, you're unreasonable. You're saying they must go because your father is ill, but then that you can't travel in the holidays because you've scheduled work. You've contradicted yourself.

SosigisAndCornflourSauce Fri 05-Apr-19 19:10:03

How long are you proposing to take them away for?

If it's an extra day or two tagged onto the Easter holidays the it's not the end of the world (unless they are in Year 2,6 or 11) If it's a full week or more the you're taking the piss.

pepperpot99 Fri 05-Apr-19 19:11:27

The way your post reads you are prioritising your work over everything else. You could visit them over Easter - but you don't want to,you prefer to work. That is your decision and your choice.

It is unbelievably entitled and arrogant to assume you can 'override this decision'. No wonder headteachers are so bloody hard to recruit. hmm

Hoppinggreen Fri 05-Apr-19 19:12:50

Your work is the reason you cant go so The Head is making the right decision according to guidelines. You cant go above her, nobody from the LA will overule her
However, you can still go if you are willing to risk a fine

Floralnomad Fri 05-Apr-19 19:18:26


PencereTencere Fri 05-Apr-19 19:22:45

YABU. Authorised holiday absences are for real, real emergencies - as in, 'we physically have to go now/travel at this time and are unable to do so at another time'. If it were that much of an emergency, you would be travelling over Easter, not delaying it because it is more convenient for your work.

golddigga Fri 05-Apr-19 19:25:33

For God's sake you are BVU... the Head is right that this is something that could be reasonable arranged during school holidays and I'm sorry but your work is not a reason for you to be unable to do that, unless you are in the armed forces or work particular shift work like a police officer or similar. Also, you say he may likely die but you put your work above that? The Easter holidays are here now it's over two weeks off. The head has made the right decision and you are unbelievably arrogant to think you can override her decision. As a PP said, it's people like you that are part of the reason it's so hard to recruit Heads these days.

SD1978 Fri 05-Apr-19 19:25:37

It's a hard one. But ultimately you're saying that you won't take time off work, but the kids should take time off school, and he's sick so the school should accept it, but not so sick you'd lose out on money. Anyway to jiggle your work commitments? Thy are now off on Easter holidays. To say I won't use them but I'll use term time for trips, I see the heads point. Are you willing to pay the fine to remove them?

Holidayshopping Fri 05-Apr-19 19:28:00

Schools have very strict attendance schedules-the head does not have much wriggle room.

talkingjapeneseireallythinkso Fri 05-Apr-19 19:45:13

sorry but you abu on this once, if gf is really that ill i would put him before work. do you work by yourself or can the easter work be delegated to someone else ?

pepperpot99 Sat 06-Apr-19 08:36:56

Looks like the OP isn't coming back.....

donquixotedelamancha Sat 06-Apr-19 08:50:25

Yep, what everyone else said. You want the school to educate your kids for free, but you won't prioritise their attendance above work.

School is not a customer service situation, it's a social good which has responsibilities as well as rights. If you want it to be about your convenience, pay for private.

caughtinanet Sat 06-Apr-19 09:10:07

The head isn't saying you can't go, she's saying it will count as unauthorised absence.

That's been the rule for years now, of course you can go just with the knowledge that you might be fined.

FamilyOfAliens Sat 06-Apr-19 09:14:53

Is there a way to talk to an education welfare officer for that?

Yes, you’ll find their contact details on the local authority's website.

They will back the school because they offer advice but are ultimately guided by individual schools’ policies. But it will be good for you to hear from someone else that the school is not being unreasonable.

insancerre Sat 06-Apr-19 09:20:30

Can your ex not have them so you can go away?

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