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Parents stopping child going abroad

(24 Posts)
Jessicakendrick Tue 15-Aug-17 12:32:04

Hi I was just wondering basically I'm 16 and my boyfriend of 2 years has just moved to Jamaica, I would like to visit him soon and legally I'm allowed to stay in the country as long as I have a return flight, however my dad doesn't want me to go and is saying that if I do he will ring the Jamaican airport and claim that I have no intention of leaving( meaning that I could get deported as if I wasn't to leave I would become an illegal immigrant). Does anyone know if I would get turned away just because of my dads allegation or is there any other ways my dad would be able to stop me?

OP’s posts: |
AuntieStella Tue 15-Aug-17 12:35:34

It's only a couple of weeks until the start of term. Or have you left school/college and arranged an apprenticeship?

Either way you need to be back to continue your education. So are you looking at buying a return ticket for two weeks?

If so, why does your DDad think you might overstay?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 15-Aug-17 12:37:05

Will you be staying with his family?

Do you have money for the flights etc?

I have to say my ds would be going at 16 over my dead body. 18 would be a different story. I don't know anyone who would let their DC go to Jamaica by themselves to seen their boyfriend /girl friend at 16.

Starlighter Tue 15-Aug-17 12:46:54

Why doesn't your dad want you to go?

And why did your bf move to Jamaica?

Jessicakendrick Tue 15-Aug-17 13:33:35

Hi yes I would definitely be buying a return ticket and my boyfriend moved to Jamaica as his brother lives out there, my dad doesn't particularly like my boyfriend which is why I'm guessing he doesn't want me to go and visit him

OP’s posts: |
Jessicakendrick Tue 15-Aug-17 13:34:28

And yes I do have the funds to go, I was just wondering if my dad could actually stop me from going

OP’s posts: |
LottieDoubtie Tue 15-Aug-17 13:36:41

I'm not sure on the law - but at 16 can you afford the flight?

How old is your BF? When are you 17? Is your Dad reasonable generally- could you make an agreement that if you still want to you will go at christmas/easter holiday time? Is it the rushing around to go right now thats scaring your dad?

LottieDoubtie Tue 15-Aug-17 13:37:22

Also when you do come back- who's roof do you plan on living under? it might be wise to respect your dads decision here...

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 15-Aug-17 13:41:10

Why doesn't your dad like your bf?

LIZS Tue 15-Aug-17 13:45:41

How old is bf? If he has chosen to move so far are you sure he is as committed to you as you seem to be to him. Is his family from there and how well do you know his brother? Tbh I wouldn't want my 16 yo entering a situation she may not fully understand the cultural expectations about, with relative strangers.

NerrSnerr Tue 15-Aug-17 13:53:06

Where in Jamaica does your boyfriend live? I have just looked on the home office website and I understand why he'd be concerned. I'm not sure if he can legally stop you going but I think I would be concerned about my 16 year old's safety if not in a guarded resort. https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/jamaica/safety-and-security

DelphiniumBlue Tue 15-Aug-17 13:57:25

The Jamaican people I know all tell me that parts of it are very dangerous, I guess this would be more so for a 16 year old. Your Dad is clearly worried about your safety.
If you really want to go, convince your Dad by showing him how mature you are : so savings to cover your flight and stay, plus extra in case something goes wrong between you and boyfriend and you end up stuck out there by yourself - I mean sufficient funds to cover the cost of staying in a decent hotel in a safe part of town, plus more for taxis etc. You need to demonstrate that you are able to look after yourself, and can navigate around strange places by yourself, and deal with the unexpected.
Have you travelled much previously?
I have to say, I wouldn't be keen on my 16 year old son travelling there alone.
How old is your boyfriend? Had he got a safe place for you to stay in, or any female relatives who would look after you in the event that you and he had an argument?

blueskyinmarch Tue 15-Aug-17 15:19:09

I would doubt he could stop you going. If you can prove you have a return ticket and have something to return to then that would likely satisfy immigration. Have you got a job or college that you will be returning for?

Jessicakendrick Tue 15-Aug-17 15:31:45

Yes I would be returning for college , thank you for all your advice

OP’s posts: |
Neoflex Tue 15-Aug-17 15:45:09

My parents let me do some wild things in my time. At 16 I was out there doing it all. But even they would have drawn the line at this.
I think even now they would try to stop me going to Jamaica (unless in hotel) and I am almost 30.
Can't you meet him in a much safer neighboring country?

SSunnyFace14 Wed 16-Aug-17 06:15:39

You must buy travel insurance before you travel. Can you afford to travel to the airport both ways? Do you need a visa? Where will you be staying in Jamaica in a hotel or at someones house? You will need money for food and pleasure. At. 16 I don't know how you can afford unless you have been working. If you travelled with a friend I would be less concerned, because you would have a companion. How old is your boyfriend? 16 is young to be following after someone a long distance away, is your boyfriend expecting you to visit?

user1475317873 Wed 16-Aug-17 18:15:23

I wouldn’t let my daughter at 16 travel to Jamaica alone unless I knew the boyfriend parents will be there and taking care of her. Sending my daughter at 16 to see her boyfriend who is living with his brother no way; it would be like sending her to the wolves. What is the future of the relationship if he has gone to live overseas? if he is committed to you he will come back to visit you. Your parents concern's are very valid and they won't forgive themselves if something happens to you.

delilahbucket Wed 16-Aug-17 22:29:07

You have to have permission from your parents to leave the country without one or both of them. Both parents must give consent. This must be written and for Jamaica it must be notorized so it is legal. So yes, he can stop you. Without consent you wouldn't get beyond check in at the airport.

CarPark17 Thu 17-Aug-17 00:50:29

Your parents have told you that they don't wish you to go to Jamaica. So if you do go there could be serious consequences. Your parents may not allow you back into their house or give you any money to live on. If you go to Jamaica what would happen if you get ill or injured?. If you wish to communicate with your boyfriend what is wrong with Skype, email, text, letters? What would happen if you arrive in Jamaica. I would suggest concentrating on your education and your future

PersianCatLady Thu 17-Aug-17 01:17:05

Do you know all the entry rules surrounding going to Jamaica??
www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/jamaica/entry-requirements

The health problems in Jamaica??
www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/jamaica/health

Also June - November is the hurricane season.

I think your Dad sounds very caring.

JustMumNowNotMe Thu 17-Aug-17 07:06:36

I'm guessing you haven't been to Jamaica before? If you had you would realise why this is a terrible idea. Is your boyfriend Jamaican?

There is good reason why tourists are not advised to leave the security of their resorts.

MaybeDoctor Thu 17-Aug-17 07:12:34

I can understand why you want to do this, but as I have got older I have generally taken it as a sign that, when people move overseas, they are not meant to be in my life anymore.

Enjoy the memory of the good times you had with your bf, then leave space in your life for new people to come in.

junebirthdaygirl Thu 17-Aug-17 07:24:27

Remember when you come back you will be dependent on your parents so thats why they get a say in where you go. Your dad is only taking care of you like any good father would. You will only appreciate that as you get older. Leave your boyfriend visit you. He went off so the only way you will know if he is still interested is to let him make the effort to come see you.
In actual fact people here would probably think your dad was neglecting you if he let you off to Jamica by yourself. Its hard not being able to do what you like but you will soon be an adult at 18 and can make your own decisions.

JustMumNowNotMe Thu 17-Aug-17 07:36:56

You need to realise just how dangerous Jamaica is OP, especially Kingston, Montego Bay, Spanish Town etc. We aren't talking a it rough here, we are talking serious issues around gun and violent crime. They often have government imposed curfews for after dark as its too risky to go out, and this is for locals! Tourists are in resorts that are heavily guarded by armed security.

You are proposing to travel here alone, to stay in a dangerous city you don't know, and wonder why your dad is upset?!

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