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Holiday without Baby

(3 Posts)
ELFarion Fri 26-Feb-16 07:16:19

Need some advice, first time on here. Posted in behaviour and development too.

Background Story: Was with my soul mate for a long time but at a young age. Left him at about 18 for some one more exciting and passionate. (Was very naive soon learnt my big mistake) With this new man for three years, became weak and controlled, he affected my mental health, had to see doctor, decided to have child, decided is vague as i was not myself or in a good place, new man surprised me by becoming more emotionally abusive than I had realised possible. Found new found strength after my son was born, left his father for the sake of my son and myself almost a year later after trying to make things work healthily. Coping very well, very good happy child we have a great bond have financial stability and all is great for us two.

Now: For a while my childhood sweetheart and I have been courting, when I had a child with someone else he packed up and moved to Australia. We never lost contact though. I would like to visit him in Australia. My son is 1 on 16/03. I don't know whether to take him or not. I want to, but it would be very difficult for my son. It's a long flight, (I'm in the UK) the time zone is hugely different and it's unfair for him to have to travel so much and have to adjust and then readjust when he comes home. I feel like it would do more harm than benefit for him if he were to come.

But then will it scar him if I leave him for 10 days? He would be with his grandma who he loves. (He ignores me when she's around and kicks up a fuss when she leaves, I think because she over spoils him which I don't mind) he'd also have his great nan and grandad and the dogs and the country side and loads of things to keep him occupied.

I'd love to just go for a few days or just bring him a long but because of distance a few days isn't possible and bringing him would certainly do more damage than good in my eyes.

Has anyone else left their child this long? Does anyone have any actual evidence based proof knowledge on whether leaving them for over a few days has an effect on them or not?
What do you guys think?

Thank you for any kind help smile

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Fri 26-Feb-16 07:37:08

I'm sure there will be dozens of posters along very soon to say yes leave him and he'll be fine.

But, I couldn't have left my DS when he was that small (he's 3.5 now). I was still BF so that was an added factor. When DS was 18 months I had to have my appendix out and stay in hospital for 1 night, I could see that this upset him as he couldn't work out where I had gone and was too young to understand that I would come back.

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Fri 26-Feb-16 08:05:10

Just seen you have multiple posts and everyone else has replied on the other one

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