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Can anyone help find me a holiday to help us recover from bereavement?

(16 Posts)
oneofsuesylvesterscheerios Sat 11-Jun-11 09:36:12

I lost my dad on Wednesday.
He'd been ill with a condition very much like motor neurone disease for 18 months and we are devastated and exhausted. We thought we wouldn't be able to go on holiday this year as we didn't want to leave him but now he's gone and we just want some time completely away.
This is unlike the usual holiday we would go for - we don't want sightseeing or anything socialable.
It would be me dh and the dds (9 & 5).
I want to be somewhere beautiful and peaceful but maybe within reach of local places to eat. Near the sea. Maybe with a pool?
My brain is mush and I cant even think but I knwo we need to just be as a family and start to recover. We'd be able to go in August.
Can any kind mumsnetters offer any suggestions? x

Bucharest Sat 11-Jun-11 09:37:28

No suggestions,but very sorry for your loss. xx

mumoverseas Sat 11-Jun-11 10:38:26

so sorry for your loss, I've lost both my parents and know how you feel. You are gutted but feel you want to do something positive for the kids and of course yourself. Your dad would not want you putting your life on hold. I imagine you've probably done a lot of your grieving over the past 18 months, it must have been very hard. Just remember, he isn't suffering anymore.

No real suggestions but someone I know lost her mum fairly recently after a very long illness and they took their children to Disneyworld for a few weeks. I know some people might find this quite odd but it was what they needed as they'd been greiving for months before she died.

I hope you manage to find the right holiday for you x

MrsAFlowerpot Sat 11-Jun-11 10:47:06

Porto Colom in Majorca is a very, very quiet resort, with some nice local restaurants and beatiful coves.

Very sorry for your loss - I remember loosing my mum and taking until I had my DD (6 years later!) to really recover x

TheSnickeringFox Sat 11-Jun-11 10:47:34

So sorry for your loss.

Have you thought about renting a cottage in the middle of the countryside? Or a villa if abroad. That would give you the privacy you are looking for. Perhaps have a look at the private villas on James Villas?

Finbar Sat 11-Jun-11 10:49:58

I am sorry for your situation. We found ourselves in a similar one when DH's mother died. My DD took it pretty badly - with her teacher coming to talk to me about her very black drawing! ( literally).

We all went off to Fowey Hall ( LUxury Family Hotels) , off season, and it was just the ticket. The kids were looked after,we all relaxed and had lovely grown up meals in the evening meals , there was an indoor pool so it didn't matter if it rained and lovely walks along the coast. In fact we continued the tradition for a good few years.

So I would recommend somewhere in the UK where you have to do little and the kids can be looked after for a while - you all need a break.

frenchfancy Sat 11-Jun-11 15:42:02

Sorry for your loss.

I don't have any specific ideas. I think the UK is perhaps a good idea as I know in the same circumstances I couldn't really stand places like airports, or anywhere I was required to think. Also the packing is easier if you take your car - so again less thinking.

Equally France could be a good option, then you take your car but could get somewhere with a pool. Do your girls like to be occupied? If they are happy just being around you and the pool then I would rent somewhere.

Try ownersdirect or holiday rentals. Most of the good ones will have gone for the summer, but there are usually some new places starting up that still have availability.

At least with a rental you don't have to take to anyone if you don't want to, and if you want to spend all day in your PJs you can.

Be kind to yourself.

Nefret Sat 11-Jun-11 15:48:22

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

How about looking at one of the small Greek islands, you can find some very quiet, peaceful places near small villages.

I hope you find some peace there x

sailorsgal Sat 11-Jun-11 17:45:33

I think Europe would be very busy with school holidays. How about somewhere a bit further afield such as Thailand or Bali.

Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad in 2003 and remember that crushing feeling.

sailorsgal Sat 11-Jun-11 18:12:18

My friend has this on her facebook page. She lives in bali. www.airbnb.com/rooms/128427 You can get anything from cheap and cheerful to this kind of thing. Its cheap to eat out and the people are the friendliest people I have ever met.

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios Sat 11-Jun-11 19:32:13

Thanks so much for your kind replies.

Funnily enough dh and I had started talking about Thailand this afternoon as we were remembering how peaceful and idyllic our honeymoon was. I think we might go for an all-inclusive thing and once the travel is out of the way we won't have to deal with anything else.

I can't even imagine making a decision past coffee or tea at the moment and I seem to have developed a kind of 'Grief Tourettes' - I keep bursting into tears mid-sentence even when talking about something completely unrelated to my dad... Which I know is perfectly natural at the moment but makes dealing with anything outside of these 4 walls quite hard.

I will look at the Bali link as well. Thank you sailorsgal x

goodname Sat 11-Jun-11 19:57:34

Sorry for your loss, If you are going to thailand, we had a great time in Koh phanang a couple of years ago, very peaceful and just the right mixture bewteen not too developed but with plenty of good places to eat and stay. We hired a jeep and drove round to some lovely quiet beaches and it was so chilled out (dont stay where they have the full moon parties if you happen to go at the time for them tho, not peaceful at all!). Hope you find somewhere lovely.

scarlettsmummy2 Sat 11-Jun-11 19:59:50

the south a france is really lovely, so maybe a villa or mobile home there

sailorsgal Sat 11-Jun-11 22:06:36

My other friend has been living on koh phanang. I've heared its pretty chilled.

I think an all inclusive sounds a good idea. Whats your budget? Happy to help.

gordonpym Sun 12-Jun-11 06:58:11

Sorry for your loss. I second Thailand or Bali.
Bali is extraordinary. Of course, you need to stay far away from Kuta, but Legian is very nice, plenty of restaurants on the sea front, delicious banana pancakes, and monkeys in the trees. Avoid seminyak, a little further north as the water is too dangerous for the children, there are some strange currents.
Nusa Dua is really nice too.
And you must do a day trip to Ubud, very spiritual
When we go there, we usually stay at the Bali Opal Inn - now called Opal Legian - so cheap 35$/ night. It is not a resort, no kids club, and open sky bathroom, meaning no roof, which is quite common on the island!! . Having a shower under the rain is a unique experience. But lovely people, lovely garden, fantastic breakfast, and close to the beach and shops, restaurants....
If you need something more rated, have a look here www.balitropical.de/hotels.htm

sailorsgal Sun 12-Jun-11 09:06:33

The house I linked to my friend is staying there. Its not actually in Kuta more towards Semniyak. I agree, would stay away from Kuta itself. I prefer Ubud and rented a house in the rice fields but it is central rarther than coastal.

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